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Re: Fiction Story: Trials of the Delargivic (P1)

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Hugginator is not online. Hugginator
Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 223
01 Jun 2013 07:52 AM
Location: Thyrus Complex, Venus.
Date: 2451, Pre-Grey Knight Birth.
Sector: 12, Uncharted.

The thick fog fluttered almost endlessly around the three young Vaktovians standing atop the cliff face, the cries of flying beasts echoed through the barely visible chasm as they swooped down from their nests in stigmatic grace..
"This is the place, where are the Commandos?" called ToberDam, his young voice polite and commanding, as loud as it could bare without interfering with the local wildlife..
Watching on guard, as four Vaktovian Commandos crept out of the fog before them, saluting swiftly as they led the trio of Brothers towards their objective, all weapons at the ready, the Delargivic brothers unknowingly began their trials that would shape their future, to what it is now..
TaintedDark crept along at ToberDams left side, his magnum at the ready and wrist blade loose for a quick strike at any moment, preparing himself for what was referred to as a "Sudden Death" moment..
DakotaNick glared anxiously into the fog, barely able to see 15 feet around him, he watched with all attention divided to catch a glimpse of the local fauna, as his young mind was eager to learn..
ToberDam marched with caution, his weapon at arms but drifting his eyes between the commandos to see if there were any unfaithful traps set up for them..

Then the commandos ordered them to stop, a prolonged beeping sound was heard nearby, and on their hand-signal, the group ran forward towards a dying red light, staying in a disciplined formation as they traveled through the fog..
On the ground against a rock, lay a Vaktovian Colonel, his helmet gashed open with and his face concealed with blood, a horrific visage to the unprepared Brothers, bending down with patience and anxiousness Victus gripped the com-relay in his hand and plucked it from cold lifeless fingers, raising it to his chest he activated the holo-cron..
An uncloaked cybernetic figure stood aloft in the Holographic projection, executing an unknown soldier before staring towards the Commandos in the Hologram..
The being spoke, its voice roaring with augmentation and almost monstrous snarls as it taunted the soldiers onward..
"Okay Madrek, I'll play your little game.. Where are the rest of your so-called commandos for me to practice on!? Your Colonel is dead, and so will you if you do not explain these actions!" The figure looked up at the Commandos face in the Hologram, his eyes being pierced by its furious outlook on him.. "I WILL FLAY YOU ALIVE WITH MY HANDS. DO YOU HEAR ME VAKTOVIANS!? DO. YOU. HEAR ME-" His roaring, distorted voice cut off as Victus placed the holo-cron in his belt pouch..

"Who was that?" asked ToberDam, peering eagerly at Victus as he walked away shaking from the dismantled corpse of what seemed to be, HIS commanding officer..
Unanswered and agitated, ToberDam ran alongside him and spun him round by the shoulder pad, demanding an answer as the Commando took off his helmet to reveal a terrified and worried face being met with the cool mountain air..

"IT WAS HIM. WE DIDN'T KNOW, BUT NOW WE DO, AND THAT'S IT. WE'RE DONE FOR!" he shouted at the young Vaktovian, forcing him back with angered words and frightened folleys..
"Who?" continued the Brothers, wanting to know more of the situation, "Who is that?".
The Commandos marched forward, slowly followed by the Brothers as they got their response from Aerys Drake, the Commando, "Korvak, It's.. It's Korvak."

Onward they marched, faced with a terrifying foe..

GOOD FEEDBACK = MORE STORY, COMMENT FOR MORE.
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ShatteredRealites120 is not online. ShatteredRealites120
Joined: 27 May 2010
Total Posts: 9961
01 Jun 2013 08:00 AM
"Delargivic"

saying that to myself makes me die inside by how bad it sounds

~UAF2013~
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fireman658 is not online. fireman658
Joined: 28 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 4755
01 Jun 2013 08:02 AM
I wish i had the time to read it

It looks interesting.

[UAFCOL]Fireman658
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Hugginator is not online. Hugginator
Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 223
01 Jun 2013 08:24 AM
Then don't read it ^_^


- Korvak.
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uncoverloser is not online. uncoverloser
Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 27022
01 Jun 2013 08:26 AM
The Ordo Malleus!






~ "Bless the mind too small for doubt." ~
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BlackHawk100 is not online. BlackHawk100
Joined: 15 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 15675
01 Jun 2013 08:26 AM
The use of descriptive adjectives and adverbs was slightly confusing, quite good overall.
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Hugginator is not online. Hugginator
Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 223
01 Jun 2013 08:28 AM
My thanks.

- Korvak.
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uncoverloser is not online. uncoverloser
Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 27022
01 Jun 2013 08:30 AM
I could imagine the story in my brian, I really liked it.
The idea came from the Trials of Draigo? =)







~ "Bless the mind too small for doubt." ~
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Hugginator is not online. Hugginator
Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 223
02 Jun 2013 02:38 PM
My thanks once more, It is wrote specifically to do that on the spot :)

Actually it is inspired by the Vak GK, no outside inspiration to be honest..

- Korvak.
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ToberDam is not online. ToberDam
Joined: 08 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 11054
02 Jun 2013 02:40 PM
Dak ain't no Delargivic!
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furt7483 is not online. furt7483
Joined: 28 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 2766
02 Jun 2013 02:44 PM
^Why is Dak in there?
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Hugginator is not online. Hugginator
Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 223
02 Jun 2013 02:46 PM
If you held on until further in the story you'd find the twist?
Patience, Mongoloids.

-Korvak.
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Hugginator is not online. Hugginator
Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 223
02 Jun 2013 04:03 PM
Review Requested.
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LordDacter is not online. LordDacter
Joined: 13 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 5458
02 Jun 2013 04:06 PM
i loved it

i didn't have time to read it all though
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BoostPowah is not online. BoostPowah
Joined: 11 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 22881
02 Jun 2013 04:07 PM
>The idea came from the Trials of Draigo?

THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO SNORT WARP DUST ARE HERETICS

#RODGERANDBRIAN2013
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