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Re: This girl at my school was writing

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LeslieVernon is not online. LeslieVernon
Joined: 15 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 10800
22 May 2013 04:58 PM
Some weird creepypasta about a witch or something. I couldn't really understand it.

But at the end the witch or something rots and melts away into some monster I guess. Like I said, made no sense.

Anyway she wrote it something like "It looked like a pile of stinky melting jello." And that's when it ended.

So I tried to give her some advice and suggested she put something like "The body became the representation of decay."

She told me no and that hers was better because she wanted the story to be descriptive and creepy, and that the body melted into chunks that looked like jello.

Don't know why but I felt the need to post that.
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lib4by39 is not online. lib4by39
Joined: 07 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 2142
22 May 2013 07:47 PM
Her's IS more descriptive :3
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Mr44 is not online. Mr44
Joined: 04 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 2628
22 May 2013 07:56 PM
Want to know how to make me take your story less seriously? Mention "jello" when describing something that obviously isn't edible or gelatinous. A "puddle" or "goo" would've worked way better in my opinion.
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Nakattack is not online. Nakattack
Joined: 28 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 3092
22 May 2013 08:02 PM
It's like saying 'The serial killer had the face of a puppy.'
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LeslieVernon is not online. LeslieVernon
Joined: 15 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 10800
22 May 2013 09:40 PM
Hers had the better set up, its just she used the weakest words possible.

And I don't even know why I'm talking about it, so, I'm out.
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Will20 is not online. Will20
Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 7912
22 May 2013 10:29 PM
She should have put,


"The witches flesh curdled and liquified. Geysers erupted from the skin, painting the wall a scarlet shade. In a few seconds, there was only a pool of crimson and slushed flesh"

Stop thinking like Clive Barker and more like Will20 Les.




Also,finished Hellbound last night. Good read, but the pacing felt off. Was Kirsty related to the Cottons? Was pee pee hole cenobite the one that was led by Kirsty?

Also, they shouldn't make a remake, but if they do, first poster for it MUST be a engagement ring with bloody hooks emerging from it in a room of blood splattered walls, and the Cenos disappear by their chains and hooks disappearing. Like, Pinhead has cube shaped chucnks of head fall and splatter on the floor as disappearing.
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Edd1050105022 is not online. Edd1050105022
Joined: 11 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 5726
22 May 2013 10:44 PM
Seems like a friendship bonding experience.
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