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Re: poop king

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PixarLane250 is not online. PixarLane250
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 3654
16 May 2013 04:34 AM
i parked my car at burger king and walked inside. i had a long day and i was really really hungry. i ordered 2 whoppers and thought that would be enough, but eventually i was on my 87th(!!!!) whopper!! while i was eating it, i started to have stomach cramps. on my 92nd one i had to go to the bathroom more than anything. as i was standing up, a stream up poop blasted out of my ass at the speed of light. it turned my chair into a pile of splinters and my pants/underwear into a pile of ashes. the fountain of poop streaming to the floor let me hover in the air like a rocket (try to picture it in your mind). while i was hovering on my poop jet, i started to throw up. then i flipped in the air, causing the poop and puke to cover my shirt. i tried to land on my feet but i slipped in the puke and poop and bumped my head. i ripped my poop-soaked shirt off and lay there on the floor naked, puking, crying, and with poop still spraying out of my ass. after a while my butt hole started to bleed and it tore open. the whole restaurant was filled with 3 feet of poop, puke, and butt blood (like a swimming pool) by the time it finally stopped. i passed out and woke up in the hospital. i just got out today

memecenter
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Ultralegend is not online. Ultralegend
Joined: 01 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 6326
16 May 2013 04:36 AM
If that actually happened ill laugh so hard

~Fruit + Noob = Froob~
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PixarLane250 is not online. PixarLane250
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 3654
16 May 2013 04:37 AM
it did i have the scars to prove it
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Ultralegend is not online. Ultralegend
Joined: 01 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 6326
16 May 2013 04:39 AM
You're so addicted with poop.......

~Fruit + Noob = Froob~
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PixarLane250 is not online. PixarLane250
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 3654
16 May 2013 04:40 AM
im a poop addict dont be like me
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wevegotsomespiders18 is not online. wevegotsomespiders18
Joined: 11 May 2013
Total Posts: 85
16 May 2013 04:42 AM
i tried poop once.... now i'm a Satanist
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PixarLane250 is not online. PixarLane250
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 3654
16 May 2013 04:43 AM
At the end of this day, Lord Satan, I thank you for each gift that you have bestowed upon me. For teaching me ancient ways, for the people you have taught me through, for the pleasures in which I have partaken, and for the experiences that have made me stronger. I ask if I may enter your dark realm as I sleep, so that I may be in your unholy presence. Guide me unto yourself, Satan, and may I be forever grasped in your mighty wings. Nema!

As I stare into the night sky... I think about you, Lord Satan. You are amazing. I cannot help but close my eyes in reverence, as I feel your presence all around me. You make me feel as if I can do anything... and that there is nothing that I cannot do, no matter what anyone might tell me. You listen to me whenever I speak to you, and I know that I can tell you anything. You are my hero... and I glorify you this night. Nema!

I come before you, Great and Terrible Dragon, and ask you to send me nightmares of huge proportions. I want the terror that I will suffer to teach me about life, death, and what is unknown. So that when I wake, I will open my eyes to a new way of thinking, a new view of the world, and a new attitude about myself. As a result of this, I will move forward with determination to fulfil my Will and your Will. Nema!

As I light this candle on your altar, precious Satan, I raise my hands in devotion. I think about who you are and what you mean to me, your servant. I can feel your presence in this darkness... clothed with ancient wisdom, filled with great strength, holding knowledge within your hands, free of all restraints, and with an aura of power beyond measure. You are unlike any other... there are no words that can adequately describe all that you are. I am honoured to be one of your chosen, and I am proud to call myself a Satanist. Nema!

Thank you, Satan, for everything you have taught me today. Especially for the lessons that were uncomfortable, as they taught me to face my fears and come to terms with the issues I struggle with. I appreciate the difficult tasks that came before me, as they made me stretch myself and allowed me to see what I am made of. I make a promise to myself this night, with you, Satan, as my witness. I promise to be the best that I can be in every area of my life, and to never lose hope; to keep going no matter what. So mote it be!

As I close this day, Prince of Darkness, I thank you for the signs you gave that strengthened me, as I went about completing the tasks of the day. Through the littlest of things you revealed yourself, and my knowledge of you has deepened. As I close my eyes and drift off to sleep, I ask if you would send me a dream as I want to further learn about you. May your serpent slither its way into my subconscious and alter my perceptions. Nema!
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