xcalibur
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2008 |
| Total Posts: 4719 |
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| 11 May 2013 11:36 PM |
This time I'm just gonna post it here, it's the whole first chapter of the story and I hope to receive feedback (it's my first "serious" try at writing anything after all)
I guess I could give a bit of insight since the pilot really gives nothing away, the whole story replaces the context of heaven and hell, with a journey a soul takes every time it dies called the Pilgrimage of Dread, whatever the results of pilgrimage will judge you accordingly, from confining your soul into a grotesque body, only to wander aimlessly in its other plane, a reality morphed by the negativity of the others' perspective of the real plane, a disjointed series of landmarks twisted by humankind's corruption. Richter was also a partaker of the Pilgrimage, but none truly knows the result of his journey
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The hallways of the abandoned school were populated by thundering footsteps. She tried her hardest to escape, but even she knew it was simply a fruitless attempt. Her panting grew louder as tiredness slowly overcame her legs, but still, she pressed on. Even if her friends were taken by this.. monster, she was going to live. It was most basic human instinct, an instinct that led us to survive for many, many generations. Alas, a surprising slip caused the distressed maiden to hurt her ankle, leaving her unable to move, unable to escape from the demon that lay behind the curtain of darkness.
That night, the whole neighborhood was awoken by a terrifying shrill of agony.
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“The scissor man strikes again; three young women grievously wounded!“ A young man, wearing a sleeved shirt too thin to help warm his body against the weather, read out loud the most eye-catching headline in the newspaper. If one were to see him suddenly exclaiming these phrases out of nowhere, one would try and move as far away as possible. Thankfully, no one else was present in the foggy park. Still, the young man faced his side, his curly hair dancing from the caressing of the wind’s gentle breeze. “What do you think, Anderson?”
He asked the empty seat beside him. Silence answered him in return, and so in defeat, he simply sighed and stood up from the rotten bench.
“Right, why was I expecting you to answer?”
The adolescent laughed inwardly at his foolishness, of course the man can’t reply- the poor soul was headless, after all. He carelessly tapped the shoulder of the motionless body that only he could see, and stepped out of the park.
This has been Richter Abel’s life for quite some time. Some call them demons, ghosts, or whatever supernatural townsfolk seem to name whatever they couldn’t understand. He can’t blame them or correct them either; for their kind truly had no namesake.
None of it matters now, as Richter re-reads the article. There was still a job to be done.
“Now, where’s this ‘Saint Elizabeth Academy?”
He scratched his head, pondering. It certainly didn’t help that he wasn’t much of a traveler.
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It took a painful amount of time to find the prestigious school, from talking to passersby and getting wholly confused with directions, Richter has finally planted his foot in front of the ginormous gates of the academy.
“Why can’t it ever be closer to my house?”
It was nighttime the moment he had reached the academy, which was a blessing for the trespasser; it was always easier to go in at night. From his experiences, it always synched up better. Richter closed his grey, soulless, eyes.
The world didn’t like to be seen changing.
Dust and overgrowth now covered the fine details of the brick wall that’s stretched between him and his target. The metal gate that once stood proud now is crippled by the savage rust, and only a small push led the whole thing to crash into the ground. No doubt about it, he’s back again to the middle of the world. He trudged across the thick vegetation, letting his thoughts wander about as he did so.
The article spoke of multiple, deep lacerations throughout the victim’s body, threatening the girls with exsanguination. With the way the additional information described the accident, there was a high probability that it was one of them. Massaging the bridge of his nose he cursed the fact that he can’t buy any weapons- even bring one, unless he wanted an invitation to the nearest police station.
Hate was really the only thing Richter feels about jobs of this sort, too bloody and messy for him, he may hate every job in general, but these really just boils his irk. He pulled at the protruding pipe from the wall, bouncing it up on down his left hand a few times. It was enough to get it done, he figured, and so he goes inside the single building that replaced the enormous campus. The middle of the world was never a ‘proper’ collective, even if similarities from the lower would have you believe. It was a disjointed entity, one that morphed itself based from the entrée’s vision.
A kingdom of lies, that’s what it was.
Yet its residents never change. Funny, how things work.
Footsteps crunched the rotten stray leaves inside the building. Somewhat recent blood pools decorated the floor, leaving the young man with confirmed suspicions.
“Looks like it happened here.”
Some of them had vengeance as hearts, hatred being their only fuel. They have no minds, no conscience, no morality binding them- just savage hunger. A few more trips around the walls adorned with gothic architecture went in failure, which was no doubt furthering the deepening lines that burrows on Richter’s forehead.
“All this searching, and still nothing, I’m burning the moonlight oil here.”
Time still flowed in this other plane, after all, and it would only be a few hours before the sun rises again. Richter hastened even more so in his pace, repeatedly going back and forth between the levels of the building.
Frantic searching went interrupted by a chilling shriek, causing the teen’s loose grip on the pipe to tighten.
“There goes the maiden!”
He quips as he races down, hopefully for the last time, through the ancient corridors. The scene he arrived to was a desperate one, with a woman fainting from terror from the sight of the threat. It was a figure with the shape of a woman, covered in gauzes and bandages, hardly holding its posture with the multitude of blades plunged into it, so deep that only their hilts were left outside, unable to penetrate her body no more. Its face was covered by her long hair, straight but tattered from abandon. It shook and fidgeted, slowly moving towards the unconscious student.
A tackle from its side caught the attention of the grotesque woman, giving Richter enough time to check upon the victim.
“Pulse’s still normal, I’m not too late.”
For him, three patients was already a huge catastrophe, and was something he wouldn’t let become worse. He struck the being with the pipe in his hands, with the swing causing a thundering thunk as it collides with the mummy-like threat’s face. Glass-breaking shrieks of agony responded to every hit of Richter’s rusty weapon, twirling and bending its body. Yet he did not stop. He continued mercilessly, striking her with his outmost might poured within every swing, until the monster could move no longer.
“Good luck at the pilgrimage.”
Richter laughed bitterly inside, pitying at his own comment.
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The previously unconscious student woke, and saw the face of man trying to save her. The moonlight bathed his pale complexion, splattered with streaks of red; he stood, his shoulders lowering in relief as he panted. But it wasn’t that that scared her; it was the expression of his face as he stared at the corpse of the ‘thing’ that attacked her:
A smirk of pure, menacing ecstasy.
“!”
The man in front of her coughed, rattling her veins as he did so. He touched his face to wipe the blood of his face, but only served to smear it across his face.
“This is just too dirty.”
The strange man notice of the now awake woman and crouched towards her, replacing his disturbing expression with a blank one
“Lady,”
What was he going to do to her? A quick jump distanced her body away from him before he could even finish his sentence.
“Miss, close your eyes.”
His pupils seemed to light up in the dark, staring right through her very soul. Subconsciously, her legs shook tremendously, no longer able to move a single inch away from the man’s gaze. Her eyes did not dare blink, much to the man’s dismay, she wouldn’t even dare blink, afraid of the nightmarish possibilities that could play out if she would do so. The man nodded then sighed at her actions.
He had already lost his patience a couple of hours ago.
The man did not bother to ask a second time, as he shoved his palm towards the student’s face, making sure that both their eyes were unable to see. She didn’t feel any warmth from his touch, nor cold- a feeling that hardly registered within her, and one that didn’t give her enough time too, as well. The hand that blinded her vision disappeared, letting her open her eyes and see the familiar sight she oh-so-craved moments ago. She stood up and dusted her skirt, and after a quick look around, briskly headed for the stairs leading to the second floor of the dormitory.
She casually rummage through her belongs and took out a phone out of her pocket and started punching on its keys; she wasn’t going to be able to sleep much tonight anyways.
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Richter peeked through a window, observing the woman’s plight towards the stairs. The singular building returned once more to previous sleek and grandiose form, a wide, open campus filled with different buildings and facilities. He was back again to the “normal” world.
“Mission Accomplished.”
The ‘job’ was finished, and as soon as the student left his sight, he began to take a few steps, slowly making his way back to the school gates. With tiredness now present within him, his previous option grew unavailable. He was going to have to take another way out- only causing him to scratch his head in annoyance.
“Man, I miss Anderson already.” |
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xcalibur
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2008 |
| Total Posts: 4719 |
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| 11 May 2013 11:53 PM |
@TheGo
..It's not that similar, but I mean it's direction/premise/whatever is the same, to try and do a darker story and deconstruct the whole genre of (for the previously mentioned show's case) magical girls. |
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