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| 11 May 2013 03:28 PM |
| once there was a vampire and a warwolf the vampie girl got kidnapped so the warwolf tryed to save the vampire the vampire was on a boat he swam 7 miles to find the boat he did find the boat she was lucky she had a man he grabbed her off the boat then jumped off the boat then the blew up!they swam togenther they landed on a islaned.YHEY END! NOTE:he took what he had and used what he could he was born to fight and born to win.[reply if you like] |
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| 11 May 2013 03:29 PM |
| You really need to extend your idea, and maybe use a little bit of grammar. |
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| 11 May 2013 03:30 PM |
| i said reply if you like stupi |
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bloxxyz
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| Joined: 15 Apr 2012 |
| Total Posts: 6995 |
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| 11 May 2013 03:31 PM |
| try saying this out loud, without taking a breath. |
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MechaDuck
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| Joined: 01 Apr 2013 |
| Total Posts: 2415 |
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| 11 May 2013 03:32 PM |
| Somebody has anger issues! |
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| 11 May 2013 03:32 PM |
| He was giving you advice for the next time you wrote a story. |
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QuisMo
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| Joined: 09 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 16640 |
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| 11 May 2013 03:34 PM |
@Quis
I have no freaking clue. |
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| 11 May 2013 03:35 PM |
| 0_o this should be in stories forum |
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| 11 May 2013 03:36 PM |
| Try to expand your plot and use some detail and grammar, and it'll be set up nice |
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camman188
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| Joined: 25 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 486 |
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| 11 May 2013 03:38 PM |
| You need to know where to put periods. And you need to know how to spell. |
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QuisMo
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| Joined: 09 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 16640 |
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| 11 May 2013 03:43 PM |
| Ok, sorry for giving advices. |
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