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a story i made up

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bakerfroggy is not online. bakerfroggy
Joined: 25 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 301
11 May 2013 03:28 PM
once there was a vampire and a warwolf the vampie girl got kidnapped so the warwolf tryed to save the vampire the vampire was on a boat he swam 7 miles to find the boat he did find the boat she was lucky she had a man he grabbed her off the boat then jumped off the boat then the blew up!they swam togenther they landed on a islaned.YHEY END! NOTE:he took what he had and used what he could he was born to fight and born to win.[reply if you like]
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MakeMeEvil is not online. MakeMeEvil
Joined: 15 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 5212
11 May 2013 03:29 PM
You really need to extend your idea, and maybe use a little bit of grammar.
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bakerfroggy is not online. bakerfroggy
Joined: 25 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 301
11 May 2013 03:30 PM
i said reply if you like stupi
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bloxxyz is not online. bloxxyz
Joined: 15 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 6995
11 May 2013 03:31 PM
try saying this out loud, without taking a breath.
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MechaDuck is not online. MechaDuck
Joined: 01 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 2415
11 May 2013 03:32 PM
Somebody has anger issues!
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MIIwinner99 is not online. MIIwinner99
Joined: 17 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 1851
11 May 2013 03:32 PM
He was giving you advice for the next time you wrote a story.
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MakeMeEvil is not online. MakeMeEvil
Joined: 15 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 5212
11 May 2013 03:33 PM
@Bloxxyz

I did it!
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QuisMo is not online. QuisMo
Joined: 09 Jul 2010
Total Posts: 16640
11 May 2013 03:34 PM
What is a war wolf?
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bakerfroggy is not online. bakerfroggy
Joined: 25 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 301
11 May 2013 03:34 PM
what
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MakeMeEvil is not online. MakeMeEvil
Joined: 15 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 5212
11 May 2013 03:34 PM
@Quis

I have no freaking clue.
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BaconParadox is not online. BaconParadox
Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 44255
11 May 2013 03:35 PM
0_o this should be in stories forum
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SargentGHDaniel is not online. SargentGHDaniel
Joined: 24 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 1039
11 May 2013 03:36 PM
Try to expand your plot and use some detail and grammar, and it'll be set up nice
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camman188 is not online. camman188
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 486
11 May 2013 03:38 PM
You need to know where to put periods. And you need to know how to spell.
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bakerfroggy is not online. bakerfroggy
Joined: 25 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 301
11 May 2013 03:43 PM
first dont care
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QuisMo is not online. QuisMo
Joined: 09 Jul 2010
Total Posts: 16640
11 May 2013 03:43 PM
Ok, sorry for giving advices.
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