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Re: I wrote this for my crush.

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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 09:53 PM
Around, all around, the dark dreams
gather.
My fear grows as the withdrawal of your words fall against my spirit.
It scars me, and darkly my blood drips to the cold, uncaring mud.
In a haze of shock, I call his name;
while my hell takes me.

Now alone, my soul falls upon uncaring soulless eyes.

This is your love.
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 09:54 PM
Good or not?
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tydog98 is not online. tydog98
Joined: 15 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 27704
06 May 2013 09:55 PM
Too bad she won't understand it (if she's as smart as the average kid today)

Never tell me the odds
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Pteranodon is not online. Pteranodon
Joined: 31 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 8384
06 May 2013 09:55 PM
Sounds dark...
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angelro111 is not online. angelro111
Joined: 29 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 1007
06 May 2013 09:55 PM
Send it without a name... LEGIT!
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linkrocker1 is not online. linkrocker1
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 25786
06 May 2013 09:55 PM
thats a bit creepy dont start too strong lol just talk at first
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 09:55 PM
@ty it's a he
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tiresomehoopla is not online. tiresomehoopla
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 5987
06 May 2013 09:56 PM
Seems to me like the average person wouldn't take it seriously.
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 09:57 PM
It is serious...
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CrazyCharmanderfan is not online. CrazyCharmanderfan
Joined: 15 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 17146
06 May 2013 09:57 PM
It fits me.

Have you seen my siggy?
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 09:58 PM
So is it good or not? :/
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 10:00 PM
I need a rating /10
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tiresomehoopla is not online. tiresomehoopla
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 5987
06 May 2013 10:00 PM
It's good. Very good and serious. But i'm saying he probably won't take it serious, maybe even find it weird. (Though I personally would love a girl with your type of mind.)
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 10:02 PM
@Tire thank you :D
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JohnDensmore is not online. JohnDensmore
Joined: 21 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 3617
06 May 2013 10:02 PM
so edgy bro
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cheyenne1324 is not online. cheyenne1324
Joined: 14 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 4889
06 May 2013 10:03 PM
He? ...Are you a boy aswell?

If it's true, No, i'm not against people like you.

Great poem, 9/10

"Souless eyes"

Seems SLIGHTLY harsh.
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NetCurtle is not online. NetCurtle
Joined: 01 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 942
06 May 2013 10:03 PM
I like it :)
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 10:04 PM
I feel like it's too deep; though I am almost positive his beautiful eyes desire me back.
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 10:06 PM
Should I present it to him?
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cheyenne1324 is not online. cheyenne1324
Joined: 14 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 4889
06 May 2013 10:06 PM
A BIT too deep... Actually, Scratch that. Dark.
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 10:08 PM
So... present it or change?
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 10:10 PM
It's bad isn't it... why'd I even try?
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NetCurtle is not online. NetCurtle
Joined: 01 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 942
06 May 2013 10:10 PM
I think you should change it a little, I agree with the others, it's a bit too deep.
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cheyenne1324 is not online. cheyenne1324
Joined: 14 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 4889
06 May 2013 10:11 PM
I guess. Make it seem more... eh... Bright, Happy, some dark parts would be okay.

Other than that, looks perfect
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DaxDymos is not online. DaxDymos
Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2338
06 May 2013 10:12 PM
He'll never love me. :c
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