DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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| 06 May 2013 09:53 PM |
Around, all around, the dark dreams gather. My fear grows as the withdrawal of your words fall against my spirit. It scars me, and darkly my blood drips to the cold, uncaring mud. In a haze of shock, I call his name; while my hell takes me.
Now alone, my soul falls upon uncaring soulless eyes.
This is your love. |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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tydog98
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| Joined: 15 Sep 2009 |
| Total Posts: 27704 |
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| 06 May 2013 09:55 PM |
Too bad she won't understand it (if she's as smart as the average kid today)
Never tell me the odds |
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| 06 May 2013 09:55 PM |
| Send it without a name... LEGIT! |
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| 06 May 2013 09:55 PM |
| thats a bit creepy dont start too strong lol just talk at first |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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| 06 May 2013 09:56 PM |
| Seems to me like the average person wouldn't take it seriously. |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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| 06 May 2013 09:57 PM |
It fits me.
Have you seen my siggy? |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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| 06 May 2013 10:00 PM |
| It's good. Very good and serious. But i'm saying he probably won't take it serious, maybe even find it weird. (Though I personally would love a girl with your type of mind.) |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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| 06 May 2013 10:03 PM |
He? ...Are you a boy aswell?
If it's true, No, i'm not against people like you.
Great poem, 9/10
"Souless eyes"
Seems SLIGHTLY harsh. |
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NetCurtle
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| Joined: 01 Oct 2012 |
| Total Posts: 942 |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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| 06 May 2013 10:04 PM |
| I feel like it's too deep; though I am almost positive his beautiful eyes desire me back. |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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| 06 May 2013 10:06 PM |
| Should I present it to him? |
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| 06 May 2013 10:06 PM |
| A BIT too deep... Actually, Scratch that. Dark. |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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| 06 May 2013 10:08 PM |
| So... present it or change? |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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| 06 May 2013 10:10 PM |
| It's bad isn't it... why'd I even try? |
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NetCurtle
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| Joined: 01 Oct 2012 |
| Total Posts: 942 |
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| 06 May 2013 10:10 PM |
| I think you should change it a little, I agree with the others, it's a bit too deep. |
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| 06 May 2013 10:11 PM |
I guess. Make it seem more... eh... Bright, Happy, some dark parts would be okay.
Other than that, looks perfect |
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DaxDymos
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| Joined: 16 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2338 |
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