Awkrin
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| Joined: 08 Sep 2008 |
| Total Posts: 19058 |
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| 02 May 2013 09:09 PM |
Intro. Please scan to know why I feel this way. Not sure if that is the correct way of spelling what I am starting but still nevertheless I am not going to eat. I am starting Monday. My mom think it is foolish but she is going to get me thoughs old people drinks with proten and vitamin in them. The reason why I am fasting is because I do not know who I am anymore. I lost my sence of being. It all started when I hated this person because he caused me pain, I was angry at him, I needed to fight him. If there wasn't any laws I would've killed him. You guys don't understand how much it takes me to not like someone, let alone hate someone. The come my 17th birthday I hooked up with my Ex we both thought it was a mistake, and we both wanted eachother she broke up with the person I hate(I think you know why I hate him now, he was a tool she used to cheat on me) all was well. Between that time fram the darkness in me was growing at a scary rate, if I hadn't gone steady with my Ex I would've faught him, and I honestly didn't want to. I didn't want my Ex upset at me, I love her we were together for just about a year. When I started going out with her it slowed down the darkness, I didn't want to fight him because I didn't want to lose her again. That time fram that we were dating was great. But she was scared that I was going to brake up with her. The darkness over took me when she started hanging out with the person that she cheated on me with and another friend, she wasn't cheating on me, I trust her.I just didn't like that. After that I had misdirected anger, and just darkness. There was no light, and to make it worse the Police harassed me and I got grounded for it. We both felt stressed, I feel sick about it. I lost who I was inside, didn't know who I was. And because of the stress and I didn't know who I was, me and my girl broke up. It was a quite one, both felt like it needed to happen. It isn't for ever though, just intill I pull my life together.
So to find out who I am. I will fast for a week get a vision, and find myself. I am fasting from food, PC, Xbox, TV, friends, music, and talking unless spoken to. Do you guys think that this is a good idea?
Please note this is not a piety thread. I'm not trying to get that |
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| 02 May 2013 09:11 PM |
What I notice is that fast is one letter away from feast
Heh |
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UnAdmin
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| Joined: 10 Jul 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4706 |
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| 02 May 2013 09:12 PM |
Don't do dis. Only a couple times... Bible says it helps clear your mind. But don't starve. |
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mjemje
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| Joined: 28 Mar 2009 |
| Total Posts: 25787 |
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| 02 May 2013 09:12 PM |
Writing about you having "darkness growing inside you" sounded rather cliche and cryptic I still have no idea why you're depriving yourself of what you enjoy in life in order to enjoy life again |
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Awkrin
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| Joined: 08 Sep 2008 |
| Total Posts: 19058 |
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| 02 May 2013 09:13 PM |
| Because I found out who I am angry at, myself. I found the light. I feel like this will get the anwers that are in me out, Bronyofpony. |
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mjemje
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| Joined: 28 Mar 2009 |
| Total Posts: 25787 |
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| 02 May 2013 09:16 PM |
It's gonna be hard to think up these answers while depriving yourself of food it being what you need to think and all |
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Awkrin
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| Joined: 08 Sep 2008 |
| Total Posts: 19058 |
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| 02 May 2013 09:18 PM |
| I know it sounds stupid. The darkness I mean all the anger inside me. I'm fighting myself and I don't like that. I keep looking out ward. I think that this will give me time to think about myself and how to fix this. |
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UnAdmin
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| Joined: 10 Jul 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4706 |
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| 02 May 2013 09:20 PM |
| You're jacked man, crazy. Where the hell did this "anger" come from. How are you "fighting" yourself? Sounds like you need help. |
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| 02 May 2013 09:20 PM |
Forget about it and move on
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love yah, but youre always a day away |
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| 02 May 2013 09:20 PM |
| I recommend breakfast essentials, its a drink that comes in multiple flavors that has protein and calcium and all the other things you need. I find it to be really filling. I wish you good luck and hope that you can success at your objective, just try not to starve yourself for too long, try to find the drink that fills your stomach the most. |
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| 02 May 2013 09:22 PM |
Tomorrow is always a new day. You can't just hold anger or you will be sinning. A deadly one. No one likes to be angered at. I wouldn't like to compromise with a cheater, either. But just don't be angry. Anger and wrath is terrible. Especially since you're in a dark mood. |
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| 02 May 2013 09:23 PM |
can i have a tl;dr i need new glasses and am partially dyslexic not being rude, being honest |
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Awkrin
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| Joined: 08 Sep 2008 |
| Total Posts: 19058 |
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| 02 May 2013 09:25 PM |
| Where does the anger come from? It comes from the fact I cannot fight him. It's really hard not to, I hate him. |
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| 02 May 2013 09:25 PM |
| @Black thats a nice way of saying stop being a drama king |
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| 02 May 2013 09:25 PM |
Vanity Lust Avarice Wrath/Anger Envy Gluttony Sloth
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| 02 May 2013 09:26 PM |
well. that sounds like a stupid idea. what is starving yourself going to do, make you anorexic? |
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| 02 May 2013 09:27 PM |
Anger comes from the insides. It's a powerful emotion, sometimes spiritual. It's triggered by many things, but you need to learn to control it naturally and relax. |
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Awkrin
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| Joined: 08 Sep 2008 |
| Total Posts: 19058 |
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| 02 May 2013 09:36 PM |
| This isn't about the anger inside me. This is about losing my sence of self and who I am. I am a very caring and nice person. Hard to believe? But I lost that within a month or two. I want to feel better about this and pull my life together. It went down the drain. I used weed to cope which I don't believe in. |
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