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Re: Long Night in Hell: Chapter 7

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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
25 Apr 2013 03:16 AM
Krypka looked down upon the vast ruins of the once proud human city of Auchyut. The cold air buffeted her bare face and she dearly wished for her helmet now. She surveyed hers and Raze's targets, huge, alien looking anti aircraft cannons positioned on towers similar to the one her and Raze were standing on. Fires still raged throughout the endless expanse before her, and two of the downed corpses of the Razor class cruisers could be seen poking through the tops of crumbling buildings. Raze stood next to her now, surveying the scene with Krypka, the two hadn't spoken since she had killed the younger human at the base of the tower, she took the moment to break the silence that had fallen between them.

"Human cities....always so dreary, and boring" Krypka observed.

"Indeed," Raze replied bluntly back, obviously looking for a reason to end the conversation. "Now, how do you say we tackle the matter at hand? You are the superior officer between the two of us and insist we can somehow make it out of this mess alive." Raze asked in a doubting voice.

"Well... first and foremost, those anti air guns need to go, finding the jammer now will only allow us to speak to our possible saviors and we will be risking our butts quite possibly just to be told that we simply aren't worth the risk." Krypka began.

"And how, do you suggest going about that?" Raze asked shifting his stance.

Krypka reached to her belt and pulled a round shaped explosive out and bounced it in her hand as she turned to face Raze, peering into his glowing red visor that hid his face as she raised one eyebrow.

Raze said nothing in reply as he crossed his arms and turned his gaze out into the expanse down below. The silence returned between the pair as Krypka replaced the charge on her belt. She began to walk to the elevator shaft, closely followed by Raze.

The doors to the shaft remained open still, the bodies of the dead humans they killed kept it open, Krypka stepped carelessly over the bodies, and kicked them out of the shaft's way with her foot, Raze closely followed. The shaft doors quickly closed as Raze entered, temporarily plunging the dingy shaft into a dim darkness before lights turned on above them, lighting the small room. Krypka pressed the button that indicated the bottom floor, and the shaft began to lurch downward, creaking dangerously as they went. Krypka pulled her weapons out once more, ready for what these humans had for her.
-------------------------------------------------------
3122 GST
Second Age of Vengence
Nafarian Imperial blockade over Rothfiria
Hangar bay of Inzidion class destroyer "Hammer of Damnation"

A lone Nafarian waited impatiently in the deserted hangar bay, tapping his foot as he waited. His pitch black armor shined brightly in the lights that dimly lit the cluttered hangar, ship after ship, box after box in neat rows, waiting to be deployed into battle. His black hair was cut close to the scalp, a helmet held carefully in one of his arms. He stood by two Albatross class dropships, their engine humming ever so silently, the only sound to be heard in the hangar.

He slowly grew tired of waiting, and tapped a few controls into a communication pad built into his armor.

"Rikt! Where is that task force I ordered." He demanded into the com.

"Nuk, sir, their on their way, they have just left the armory they should be arriving any moment." A timid voice replied.

Nuk wasted no time in replying to the bumbling fool, as he constantly found Rikt to be an incompetent fool. He switched the com off and once more returned to staring at the door before him with his red eyes. Suddenly, the door sprang to life, rouguetonium power light flickered on the door and four sections quickly jutted away from the center, revealing a long, well lit hallway. A handful of Nafarians donned in Grey armor marched through the hall, taking positions in front of Nuk.

"Attention!" Nuk shouted. The soldiers before him straightened their stances in response, now giving him their full attention. Nuk smiled, maybe Rikt wasn't so useless after all, these soldiers listen well, Nuk thought. "Warriors... Do any of you know what you have been brought here to do?" Nuk asked, turning his gaze across the crowd. "Well?" Nuk asked.

A young male in the crowd spoke up, his voice booming through the hangar. "We were told little of this mission sir, simply told to gather here and wait for further instructions" He said.

"Indeed you have been," Nuk began to say as he turned behind him. He removed a small tac pad from his belt and layed it flat on a demonstration table the sat next to him, tapping few commands on it before stepping back. A red hologram of a human ship appeared over it, rotating slowly. "This here is something that has been brought to the attention of the Nafarian NSS teams about an hour ago, it is located in the local Astroid belt not too far from the planet." Nuk began. "This ship has been identified as the one ship to make a successful jump away from the battle we all witnessed only hours ago... In response to this find, three Razor class cruisers were deployed to the position.... they were destroyed five minutes after contact."

Nuk's last statement was met with gasps and glances of confusion between the soldiers before him. He knew they probably disbelieved what he had said, he too did as well when the NSS agent sent him the orders.

"Our mission," Nuk began again, regaining the attention of his soldiers. "Is to infiltrate and destroy this ship, it's engines are currently knocked out, and we will be able to approach them easily with our dropships, any questions?"

"One sir" A tall Nafarian said as he stepped forward. "Why do we not engage it with our destroyer? Our weapons systems are far superior to theirs, they stand no chance."

"I would also prefer to bake these humans as well, but the Imperial high command of this sector has prohibited an further naval conflict with this ship," Nuk replied "Is that all?" The hangar grew quiet and the quiet engines of the Dropships could once more be heard. "Well then, all soldiers form up into your assigned squads and load up, we will be arriving at their doorstep in thirty" Nuk said authoritatively as armor clad bodies rushed past him and into the dropships. Nuk followed, crossing the deck of one of the dropships himself as the pointed hatches closed behind him, descending the crew into darkness.

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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
25 Apr 2013 03:22 AM
Read this now please?
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AbbadonTheDark is not online. AbbadonTheDark
Joined: 16 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 13279
25 Apr 2013 03:41 AM
romy

its bootifool

y u no write stories to sell on ebay or sumtin

§Dark Lightning strikes§
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
25 Apr 2013 11:06 PM
Becos ebay is where the rednecks are.

But I am planning on selling some small thing on amazon.
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
27 Apr 2013 01:15 PM
Bump.
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
28 Apr 2013 10:23 PM
Red dis now.
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Inysa is not online. Inysa
Joined: 18 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 4477
28 Apr 2013 10:29 PM
Slow part, but I'm the queen of slow story parts.
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
28 Apr 2013 10:36 PM
Thanks.
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nickle389 is not online. nickle389
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 456
28 Apr 2013 10:46 PM
More fun.
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
28 Apr 2013 10:49 PM
More Fun?
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nickle389 is not online. nickle389
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 456
28 Apr 2013 10:52 PM
Stories are fun especially Nafarian stories. I always wait to see what bloodshed and torture is next.
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
28 Apr 2013 10:54 PM
Heh.
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AecTalek is online. AecTalek
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 1653
28 Apr 2013 10:54 PM
are you looking for critique or

teddy
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
28 Apr 2013 10:55 PM
And yes of course, I am always open for critiqueing and personal opinions on my stories, it would help if you read the other 6 chapters following up to it, so you understand what is going on.
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AecTalek is online. AecTalek
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 1653
28 Apr 2013 11:00 PM
i have.
and honestly, you are an extremely good writer and like all of the chapters.
however, i do think that you put too much.. detail.. on some of the minor things. if you with hold on that just a tad, and put a lot more on the grander things within it, the emphasis will be greater and in turn make the story better,
imho.

teddy
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
28 Apr 2013 11:09 PM
Thanks, and I will be doing so in my refurbishes of the chapters over summer.
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AecTalek is online. AecTalek
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 1653
28 Apr 2013 11:11 PM
anytime. i look forward to seeing more of your work. keep it up, lul.

teddy
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
28 Apr 2013 11:24 PM
Thanks.
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
29 Apr 2013 12:34 AM
Read.
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
29 Apr 2013 01:46 AM
Come on now.
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
29 Apr 2013 02:41 AM
ok
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
30 Apr 2013 12:42 AM
Read, k?
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romuluz is online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
02 May 2013 01:07 AM
I will rage
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