Rippetoe
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| Joined: 10 Feb 2013 |
| Total Posts: 29 |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:47 PM |
I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one. |
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CumInAJar
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| Joined: 16 Apr 2013 |
| Total Posts: 30 |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:49 PM |
| Whenever I get a package of M&M's.... I put them in my butthole. |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:51 PM |
| i shove them all in my mouth and choke for 5 minutes until i finally swallow it |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:52 PM |
| holy crap i'm going to try that |
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rohitd1
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| Joined: 27 Feb 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1347 |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:52 PM |
Whenever I get a package of M&M's.... i watch p
o r
no |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:54 PM |
| i have birds so i like to suck the juice out of them and call it an egg |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:54 PM |
This is the best thread all week All month maybe Maybe the best one I've ever seen
Assuming it's original |
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lion9031
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| Joined: 27 Jan 2011 |
| Total Posts: 14344 |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:55 PM |
| do you do the same for skittles |
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Varple
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| Joined: 09 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 14296 |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:56 PM |
| I like this thread, good job man. Let the m&ms live!! |
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joan12650
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| Joined: 15 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 12281 |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:56 PM |
i think ive seen this before
oh yes i know
4chan? |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:57 PM |
"i think ive seen this before
oh yes i know
4chan?"
I knew it wasn't original Such a shame |
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joan12650
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| Joined: 15 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 12281 |
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| 21 Apr 2013 07:58 PM |
also i've tried this before i cant break the shell |
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67thave
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| Joined: 14 Jul 2011 |
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lastmoon
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| Joined: 02 Nov 2012 |
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