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Re: Best Programmer Jokes

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itunes89 is not online. itunes89
Joined: 19 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 1957
20 Apr 2013 09:38 AM
**Note: You will only get these if you are a programmer, reading them otherwise is just a waste of your time**

What's your best programming joke(s)?


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My favorite!
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"


Post yours below, please make sure to follow Robloxs Rules.
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Aerideyn is not online. Aerideyn
Joined: 16 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1882
20 Apr 2013 09:40 AM
double rainbow = 0.0;
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itunes89 is not online. itunes89
Joined: 19 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 1957
20 Apr 2013 09:43 AM
lol love it ;)
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WarrioR2MasteR is not online. WarrioR2MasteR
Joined: 26 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 821
20 Apr 2013 09:51 AM

In Soviet Russia the console logs YOU

#Originality
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Parthax is not online. Parthax
Joined: 27 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 6941
20 Apr 2013 09:52 AM
....


❖ VOID Overseer Parthax ❖
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WarrioR2MasteR is not online. WarrioR2MasteR
Joined: 26 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 821
20 Apr 2013 10:00 AM
@Part,

Sorry, I couldn't think up of anything better.
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coplox is not online. coplox
Joined: 07 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 3252
20 Apr 2013 11:02 AM
How long does it take a programmer to make dinner?
However long it takes to compile.
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Guarranteed is not online. Guarranteed
Joined: 06 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2799
20 Apr 2013 11:05 AM
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”
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StealthKing95 is not online. StealthKing95
Joined: 13 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 4263
20 Apr 2013 11:08 AM
@guarranteed

lol'd
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Prehistoricman is not online. Prehistoricman
Joined: 20 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 12490
20 Apr 2013 11:14 AM
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
"Umm dunno...
Oh yeah, Roblox"
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nairod7 is not online. nairod7
Joined: 26 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 869
20 Apr 2013 11:26 AM
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s..."
"Hello, I'm a program made in assembly, I don't need any compiler, ehehe"
"...there... gosh o;o"
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TekBomber is not online. TekBomber
Joined: 14 May 2012
Total Posts: 1927
20 Apr 2013 11:33 AM
Anybody play with BASIC?

Im gonna make a notepad program in it for poops and giggles.
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TekBomber is not online. TekBomber
Joined: 14 May 2012
Total Posts: 1927
20 Apr 2013 11:46 AM
Do you know anybody that still uses COBOL?

Neither do I..
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MrgamesNwatch is not online. MrgamesNwatch
Joined: 02 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 7729
20 Apr 2013 11:49 AM
these made me smile .-.
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itunes89 is not online. itunes89
Joined: 19 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 1957
20 Apr 2013 12:03 PM
Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: none, that's a hardware problem
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.
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Seranok is not online. Seranok
Joined: 12 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 11083
20 Apr 2013 12:09 PM
There is an excellent stackoverflow question on this very topic. It is titled "What is your best programmer joke?"
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TheMyrco is not online. TheMyrco
Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 15105
20 Apr 2013 12:38 PM
C is evolving!
... C evolved into C++!

Java uses memory eat...
...it's super effective!
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ball360 is not online. ball360
Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 1557
20 Apr 2013 12:38 PM
9,432 errors from the linker
9,432 errors
Fix one up, run it through
10,789 error from the linker
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ball360 is not online. ball360
Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 1557
20 Apr 2013 12:40 PM
A C programmer walks into a bar.
The bartender directs the programmer to the tenth seat (the last seat) in the bar.
The programmer looks the bartender in the eye and says, "There is no tenth seat.".
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Candymaniac is not online. Candymaniac
Joined: 08 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 8985
20 Apr 2013 12:41 PM
"I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code."
-Reflecting opensource in today's software world. :)
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Prehistoricman is not online. Prehistoricman
Joined: 20 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 12490
20 Apr 2013 12:45 PM
Oh, I love the syntax error one, especially on Windows!

>if you're happy and you know it, syntax error!
happy was unexpected at this time.
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Dr01d3k4 is not online. Dr01d3k4
Joined: 11 Oct 2007
Total Posts: 17916
20 Apr 2013 12:49 PM
I've got 2 bookmarked pages for these. Here are some:

Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary:
Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.

“You shall not pass by reference”, said Gandalf to James Gosling

A garbage collector joined Men in Black to help them with erasing memory.


And another for "shooting yourself in the foot in various programming languages" (google this):

Linux: You shoot yourself in the foot with a Gnu.

Windows 95: Your gun is not compatible with this OS and you must buy an upgrade and install it before you may continue. Then you will be informed that you don't have enough memory.
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ball360 is not online. ball360
Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 1557
20 Apr 2013 12:53 PM
Heh.
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MrChubbs is not online. MrChubbs
Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 4969
20 Apr 2013 12:56 PM
No one has pointed out the most obvious and well known one,

"There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't."
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Dialoghack is not online. Dialoghack
Joined: 01 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 27
20 Apr 2013 12:58 PM
I lol'd.
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