LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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| 18 Apr 2013 08:27 PM |
I stood at the kitchen sink, rinsing my hands of blood, what had just happened minutes ago still ringing through my mind like a church bell. Afterwords, I walked past the living room and down the hall to my bedroom. I sat in my bed, wrapping my arms around my knees, sitting and trying to forget. Just sitting in the dim light of my uncovered window. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the shadowy figure once again. He stepped forward, centering Himself into my vision. As usual, I couldn't see His face past the shadow of his hood. He stood there, staring me down. After what seemed like an eternity, He threw down a Klondike bar.
"I hope it was worth it." He muttered in disgust, fading into the black canvas that was the shadow of the night that enveloped my room. |
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LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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zevinneve
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| Joined: 27 Jun 2017 |
| Total Posts: 14466 |
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LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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| 18 Apr 2013 10:30 PM |
"I've seen it before."
Really? Perhaps you've stumbled upon my DeviantART profile? |
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LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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| 18 Apr 2013 10:51 PM |
"Inb4 TLDR"
That never works on ROBLOX. |
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xD12x
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| Joined: 30 Jul 2012 |
| Total Posts: 123 |
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| 18 Apr 2013 10:54 PM |
ihatedthewholethingjustcuzitisboring
[Pink fluffy unicorns] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWM2joNb9NE |
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rohitd1
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| Joined: 27 Feb 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1347 |
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| 18 Apr 2013 10:57 PM |
| i have a feeling i've read this before. |
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LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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| 18 Apr 2013 10:57 PM |
"so what's the conflict."
Man vs. Self. |
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LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 05:42 AM |
"i have a feeling i've read this before."
But I wrote it recently. |
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LunarMare
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| Joined: 19 Mar 2013 |
| Total Posts: 3072 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 05:43 AM |
| it's too late to be reading anything more than two lines. -_- |
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StanAdam
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| Joined: 20 Nov 2011 |
| Total Posts: 9698 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 05:44 AM |
Didn't you already post this?
༄・・・Īт'š ηõτ śραmмїηg ↔ їт'$ ḟїñgεг ėχέґḉįšiηg・・・༄ |
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Liquidize
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| Joined: 25 Nov 2012 |
| Total Posts: 336 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 05:49 AM |
you spelt afterwards wrong say no more |
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LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 05:53 AM |
"you spelt afterwards wrong"
Actually, I used the wrong one, but thanks for catching it. |
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LunarMare
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| Joined: 19 Mar 2013 |
| Total Posts: 3072 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 05:54 AM |
okay, reading the first line, i spotted some comma splicing.
grammar matters, k? |
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LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 05:56 AM |
"okay, reading the first line, i spotted some comma splicing. "
I don't know what that means, but my commas are used properly. |
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LunarMare
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| Joined: 19 Mar 2013 |
| Total Posts: 3072 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 05:58 AM |
"I stood at the kitchen sink, rinsing my hands of blood, what had just happened..."
I stood at the kitchen sink, rinsing my hands of blood. What had just happened...
"What has happened..." is another statement, therefore no period instead of comma. |
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LunarMare
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| Joined: 19 Mar 2013 |
| Total Posts: 3072 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 05:59 AM |
>"What has happened..." is another statement, therefore no period instead of comma.
no comma, period instead.
god it's getting late. |
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LunarEden
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| Joined: 11 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 19663 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 06:00 AM |
It's "what had just happened minutes ago still ringing through my mind like a church bell."
Not "What had happened minutes ago rang through my mind like a church bell."
Therefor, it's right in that context. |
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Somepony
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| Joined: 20 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 12957 |
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xcalibur
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2008 |
| Total Posts: 4719 |
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| 20 Apr 2013 06:31 AM |
| What would you do~o~oo for a klondlike bar |
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