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Re: A Piece I've Been Working On

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gymnast82 is not online. gymnast82
Joined: 21 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 1145
25 Mar 2013 05:23 PM
As the sun set on Cottonwood groves, a certain young Raven was just arriving home from a long, exasperating day of school. The tiny, silver key slides into the lock, and the door opens with a successful click. A sigh of relief floods the garage; the key to the door rarely worked.

Raven was only a tiny thing, her face pale, her eyes hollow and dark, the hair that once rested upon her tiny head was starting to grow back in thin, beautiful wisps. Despite her being only a child, she had matured far too quickly. She walked slowly, wheezing from her lungs that didn’t do a very good job being lungs. She had them drained a month ago, but she could almost feel the fluid building up again. The days kept ticking by, and she hoped that it would pass soon. One day at a time.
Upon entering the house, the first impression left on someone would be that it was relatively dark and cool, with a dank odor lingering throughout the vast halls. Raven and her single mother could barely scrape up enough money for the water and heating bills as it is, so they had to sacrifice most of their light. In fact, parts of the ceiling where one would usually see light bulbs had been opened up so windows could be installed.

Raven dragged her schoolbags to the kitchen, where they landed upon a dining chair with a thud. She slid onto the table, swinging her legs around impatiently. No doubt her mother was at work. Her mother was always at work. “It’s just adult stuff, Raven. You wouldn’t understand,” her mother usually told her when asked about work, “Don’t worry yourself about it.” But she wanted to help; she wanted to worry about adult stuff. Nevertheless, she was stuck with her nanny.
“Adelee, I’m home from classes!” the high-pitched call rang throughout the premises. Upon hearing Raven’s calls, a nanny (hired by Raven’s father who, might I add, was practically swimming in wealth) raced down the steps to greet her.

Nanny Adelee was a tall, beautiful woman. Her hair was like the outside of an almond. Light amber eyes rested upon her sharp features and her dark, coffee-brown skin. Although she would never hurt a fly, her voice was strict, her eyes were cold, and discipline always came first. It was hard to have much fun with a nanny following you around most everywhere, but Raven made it alright and was happy enough.

“And how are you doing today, dear child?” Adelee wrapped her arms gently around Raven’s tiny, fragile frame.

“The best I can.” Childish giggling erupted around the kitchen, filling the darkened house with a brightened joy. Every day, Nanny Adelee asked the very same question, and it was always met with the very same answer.

“What’s for lunch, Nanny Adelee? I’m awful hungry.” Raven imagined pizza, hot dogs; even a salad would be nice. She didn’t really have to ask. She knew exactly what was for lunch. A soft, pitiful smile spread across Adelee’s face, and her tone was sympathetic.

“I’m sorry, darling, but you can’t have any solid food until they’re completely positive that you won’t cough it up. We could give you something to chew on, but you couldn’t really eat it.”

Raven’s heart dropped, but she held the tears back, and forced a smile to cover her face. It was hard to eat; she couldn’t swallow at all, because as soon as something went down her throat, her lungs rejected it. It was hard for her to go on every day when you knew your own body was fighting against you. Really, the doctors talk about the chemo destroying the “bad” cells, but also knocking down the “good” cells, but there is no bad or good cell. It’s only life; it’s only trying to keep itself alive. Those “bad” cells don’t know how much pain and terror they cause people. Raven forgave them. Raven couldn’t hate the disease, no matter how much it hated her. Hey eyes locked with Adelee’s.

“No, that’s alright, Nanny Adelee. I’ll eat later, with the tube…” Raven said. And with that, she walked calmly up to her room, sat on her bed, and cried.


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gymnast82 is not online. gymnast82
Joined: 21 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 1145
25 Mar 2013 05:24 PM
Sorry that's it's so terribly long. I wanted to find a nice place to stop.
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Lonnee is not online. Lonnee
Joined: 28 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 633
25 Mar 2013 06:06 PM
Wow, this was amazing Gym! :)
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3Hunter257 is not online. 3Hunter257
Joined: 13 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 10
25 Mar 2013 08:27 PM
That is a good start!!
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babyshawna09 is not online. babyshawna09
Joined: 25 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 5878
25 Mar 2013 08:34 PM
oh
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HinataHyugga23 is not online. HinataHyugga23
Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 234
25 Mar 2013 10:39 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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gymnast82 is not online. gymnast82
Joined: 21 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 1145
01 Apr 2013 09:13 PM
Chapter Two

“Now, Raven, I want you to take a deeeeeep breath and hold it for as long as you can!” The nurse’s tone was polite and gentle, but Raven knew what it meant. It must be a tough job, watching children come and go, getting treated for monstrous disease that only ¼ of them will make it through.

Raven breathed a deep breath as the nurse rested his hand upon her back, right where her lungs supposedly were. She held it, and she held it, and she held it even longer until her lungs felt as though they were throbbing and about to burst. Only then did she breathe out, the air traveling quickly. She looked at the nurse hopefully.

The nurse nodded kindly, writing down a few numbers on his clipboard. The clipboard of secrets, Raven liked to call it. Only mother, father, and nanny Adelee were to see glance upon those papers. It wasn’t fair. Those papers were hers, after all. The truth was, the adults decided that it would do nothing but make her pessimistic. At least the kindred nurse was a realist, like Raven. He didn’t shield her from the results. He let her know.

“Well, Raven, I’ve got some good news and I’ve got some bad news for you. Which would you like to hear first?”

Raven bit her lip, thinking. It was a big question for her, though it didn’t matter all that much. She could hear the good first, and it could help her through the bad knowing that the good was still there. Or she could handle the bad and be relieved by the good at the end. “Yes,” she thought, “save the best for last.”

“Bad first, I’d like to hear the bad news first...” The doctor nodded, flipping through his sheets until he came up with the X-ray papers. As the paper slipped into her hand, she sighed with devastation. The liquid in her lungs, it was slowly filling. It was going to need to be drained again. Draining was a slow process that made her chest thoroughly sore. The nurse droned on and on and on about this medical term and that medical term, but all she saw was a lung filled with cancer.

“It will have to be drained, you know. We can’t just let it sit there. We’ve gotten you an appointment or next week to get it drained, but if you feel like you’re having tough time breathing, have your…nanny... drive you here right away.”

Raven nearly laughed in his face. If she was having a tough time breathing? Her breathing was never comfortable. That’s why she was there, in the hospital. That’s why she endured everything. She dreaded the day that she would ask for bad news first, like she did today, and she would get a countdown of days to her death.

“The good news?” Raven spoke, her face hopeful. Maybe ‘Make a Wish’ had finally accepted her request to travel the world. Maybe her mother finally got that new job offer she’d been hunting for. Maybe stem cell research had finally found a cure for her sickness.

“Right, the good news. We can’t forget about that, now can we? Drum roll, please?” The nurse said, and Raven and he proceeded to pat their legs, imitating a drum for a few seconds. Raven laughed, her teeth shining. That’s when the doctor opened the door and her father walked in.

“You’re coming to stay with me this weekend.” Raven jumped from the hospital bed, nearly knocking herself over, and threw herself into her father’s embrace.
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Veratia is not online. Veratia
Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 444
01 Apr 2013 10:25 PM
Simply amazing.
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gymnast82 is not online. gymnast82
Joined: 21 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 1145
03 Apr 2013 09:28 PM
Thank you.
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