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Re: The Whisperer ( TRUE STORY )

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Xsamurai is not online. Xsamurai
Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 125
16 Mar 2013 02:03 PM
There a boy called Larry and he was in his room and he kept hearing screams from his mothers and fathers room

He coulden't open the door. He suddenly felt somthing was behind him , he turned around and a man holding a knife with no eyes,

The man stabbed larry to his death.

His father and mother Were called Peter and Lilly.

Peter went to do park to cry about larry.

then somone with no eyes and a knife sat next to him and stabbed him.

Lilly was worried about peter , she went to the park and saw peter's Dead body lying on the floor with blood.

Then she saw a crashed car in the distance.

She went to it and.....

Chapter 2 out Soon
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Techmagss is not online. Techmagss
Joined: 24 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 2660
16 Mar 2013 02:08 PM
5.0 out of 10 needs more work and effort
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Xsamurai is not online. Xsamurai
Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 125
16 Mar 2013 02:09 PM
Theres gonna be loads for Chapter 2

This is like well the start

theres gonna be more dont worry
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SilverBroom is not online. SilverBroom
Joined: 13 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 19
16 Mar 2013 02:12 PM
-2 out of -5
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CheetosrevengeFIVE is not online. CheetosrevengeFIVE
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 130
16 Mar 2013 02:12 PM
"True story"


NOPE.
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gwebster2 is not online. gwebster2
Joined: 29 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 5671
16 Mar 2013 02:17 PM
Is this supposed to be scary?
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Xsamurai is not online. Xsamurai
Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 125
16 Mar 2013 02:18 PM
True story adds more like shock but i dont know if it will ( dumb me -_- )
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bebithetuffle is not online. bebithetuffle
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 28080
16 Mar 2013 02:18 PM
"True story"

Good god this is awful.
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Xsamurai is not online. Xsamurai
Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 125
16 Mar 2013 02:18 PM
im not very good at scary stories
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bebithetuffle is not online. bebithetuffle
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 28080
16 Mar 2013 02:19 PM
Saying it's a true story and making it dumb and ridiculous is kind of killing the point.
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Riku1257 is not online. Riku1257
Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 10066
16 Mar 2013 02:19 PM
If the story isn't true, why did you say it was?
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Xsamurai is not online. Xsamurai
Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 125
16 Mar 2013 02:20 PM
i dont know

im not good at Shocking people i guess i made it too unreal

But theres a creepy pasta called Eyeless Jack
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bebithetuffle is not online. bebithetuffle
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 28080
16 Mar 2013 02:22 PM
"but there's a creepy pasta called eyeless jack"

Aaaand?
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Xsamurai is not online. Xsamurai
Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 125
16 Mar 2013 02:23 PM
i tried making the story based on him
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bebithetuffle is not online. bebithetuffle
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 28080
16 Mar 2013 02:24 PM
Sadly, you cant write for crap.
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Riku1257 is not online. Riku1257
Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 10066
16 Mar 2013 02:25 PM
And Eyeless Jack doesn't use knives.
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Xsamurai is not online. Xsamurai
Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 125
16 Mar 2013 02:26 PM
Atleast im trying!

If you dont like it then dont post anything!
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bebithetuffle is not online. bebithetuffle
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 28080
16 Mar 2013 02:27 PM
If I dont like it I can post if I want to
Your little morals and "dont be mean, u is bulleh" propaganda doesn't effect me.
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lon3rx is not online. lon3rx
Joined: 26 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 2774
16 Mar 2013 02:27 PM
DUHRP.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It's not simply a punch, I was just stretching my elbows, It's called working out."
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Riku1257 is not online. Riku1257
Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 10066
16 Mar 2013 02:41 PM
Atleast im trying!

im trying!

trying!


Oh my sides.
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gwebster2 is not online. gwebster2
Joined: 29 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 5671
17 Mar 2013 04:14 PM
What do you mean "TRYING"?
You put 0 effort into this!
I've written stories before and posted them on here, so don't give the people who've written RPs and stories that "Why don't YOU try making a story!!11!" bullcrap.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
17 Mar 2013 06:17 PM
Bebi, go away.

You too, Bebi followers.
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CreativeMystery is not online. CreativeMystery
Joined: 29 May 2012
Total Posts: 18749
17 Mar 2013 06:23 PM
This was horrible. You have potential though; try to practice a bit with undertone; which is kind of like making a point without saying it bluntly.

í αm prícєlєss, вut í αm wíllíng tσ вαrgαín
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Graulas is not online. Graulas
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 8634
17 Mar 2013 06:47 PM
I absolutely hate the "criticism" on this thread.

How would you feel if someone discouraged you like this years ago? You should encourage him to continue writing! This sort of behavior should be far above you, Be.
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CreativeMystery is not online. CreativeMystery
Joined: 29 May 2012
Total Posts: 18749
17 Mar 2013 07:01 PM
Was that referred to me also? :l

í αm prícєlєss, вut í αm wíllíng tσ вαrgαín
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