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omgking102 is not online. omgking102
Joined: 03 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2131
19 Jan 2013 10:29 AM
My first story don't tease D:< :3.

Chapter 1:
Commence!
It was a early morning, John Cobras was preparing for the biggest invasion of their lives.
The biggest invasion in roblox history, they were preparing for the invasion to start. John gazed at the walls, looking for servers that needed backup. When he refreshed his page, and saw over 500 posts calling backup. " Good... Good... Lord... " John said. Thepiewarrior walked up to John. " The invasion has begun, shall we start defending? " he asked, in a deep voice. Thepiewarrior could see that John was burning up in fright inside, he had no idea what to do. " Over 800 men are at Fang... " John said, in a choking voice. He looked at the clock. " 30 wins.... and only 24 hours left... " John said in depression, " How could we possibly win, servers that need backup are being full faster then you can say HAIL COBRAS. " Thepiewarrior looked at John strangely. John was nervous. He was sweating and coughing. The invasion has commenced. John could see that TRA already filled up 10 servers and more. RAT was on their way, and so was 10 other clans. GSC finally started their invasion.... " History..... Has.... Begun.... " John said and then closed his eyes.

[[ END ]]

Chapter 2: COMING SOON :D.

Feedback please.
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Eraticus is not online. Eraticus
Joined: 25 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 12615
19 Jan 2013 10:30 AM
Paragraphs, spacing. Please?
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omgking102 is not online. omgking102
Joined: 03 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2131
19 Jan 2013 10:30 AM
yeah forgot sorry .-.
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GeneralKai is not online. GeneralKai
Joined: 31 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 10015
19 Jan 2013 10:31 AM
Can you do a chapter about john denying his loss?
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omgking102 is not online. omgking102
Joined: 03 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2131
19 Jan 2013 10:31 AM
yeah
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JamalMarley is not online. JamalMarley
Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 40696
19 Jan 2013 10:31 AM
TRA! TRA! TRA! TRA! TRA! TRA! TRA! TRA!
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omgking102 is not online. omgking102
Joined: 03 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2131
19 Jan 2013 10:32 AM
olo
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skillfulpurplellama is not online. skillfulpurplellama
Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 1973
19 Jan 2013 10:32 AM
seems legit..off to raid them now :3
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omgking102 is not online. omgking102
Joined: 03 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2131
19 Jan 2013 10:33 AM
LOL
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greatdragontamer is not online. greatdragontamer
Joined: 18 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 18
17 Mar 2013 04:24 PM
TRA TRA TRA TRA
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pwnox8 is not online. pwnox8
Joined: 28 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 5656
17 Mar 2013 04:26 PM
Now include me in it.
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brian987987 is not online. brian987987
Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 29009
17 Mar 2013 04:26 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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Cermain is not online. Cermain
Joined: 12 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 478
17 Mar 2013 04:27 PM
Meh. The story is too to the point. Maybe make it more theatrical.
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Sleeting is not online. Sleeting
Joined: 10 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 777
17 Mar 2013 04:28 PM
^
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smallninjabob is not online. smallninjabob
Joined: 12 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 9477
17 Mar 2013 04:28 PM
Apart from the fact it is made to slander John, I like it :D

~N!NJA~
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hydrodash is not online. hydrodash
Joined: 01 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 9759
17 Mar 2013 04:28 PM
All you're going to do is copy what happened on the invasion and then add what you heard.
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momo113 is not online. momo113
Joined: 30 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 4823
17 Mar 2013 04:29 PM
That was one touching story :').
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Sleeting is not online. Sleeting
Joined: 10 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 777
17 Mar 2013 04:29 PM
MAWGAWD

HOW CAN YOU PREDICT THE FUTURE?!
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