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@moomooman222

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xxQuickSilver is not online. xxQuickSilver
Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 738
11 Mar 2013 01:54 PM
Comic name: Fuze
Description: Time is not to be toyed with, and most people know to leave it alone. All was well on earth, the people lived in harmony and peace, but when an incident sparks... Disaster strikes.
Time is pushed to brink of its limit, knowing that one wrong move could change the history of the universe... Forever. Fortunuately, there is always a hero. Join Spark on his adventure to mend the rips in time and space, and overcome his greatest enemy...

LOL a little over the top, but here's the promo:
http://www.roblox.com/fuze-promo1-item?id=109243542

rate and give positive and/or negative feedback, I could use some ideas/advice on my drawing skill or storyboard. :P
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moonlight9989 is not online. moonlight9989
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 13162
11 Mar 2013 02:02 PM
sounds horrible

looks horrible

you're horrible

kthxgetout
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xxQuickSilver is not online. xxQuickSilver
Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 738
11 Mar 2013 02:04 PM
... a little specific plz?
I appreciate your feedback but i need specifics or i can't imrpove myself... I think the decal's still pending review :(
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TFH6478IsBoss is not online. TFH6478IsBoss
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 7898
11 Mar 2013 02:05 PM
Yeah, it's still pending.
Any info on why the time space continuum was damaged?

a winner is you
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moonlight9989 is not online. moonlight9989
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 13162
11 Mar 2013 02:05 PM
uncreativre story

uncreative title

uncreative character

kthxgetout
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TFH6478IsBoss is not online. TFH6478IsBoss
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 7898
11 Mar 2013 02:06 PM
@moon

The guy didn't even give out much about the story, and we know nothing about the main protagonist.
I could care less about the title.

a winner is you
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moonlight9989 is not online. moonlight9989
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 13162
11 Mar 2013 02:08 PM
but what he gace out was the most uncreative garbage

it shows that any other information probably isn't any different

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TFH6478IsBoss is not online. TFH6478IsBoss
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 7898
11 Mar 2013 02:10 PM
You know what would be uncreative? A muscular man named John Doe saving the world from Martian invaders, while under the pseudo-name of Super Duper man.
I see some potential in OP's comic.

a winner is you
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moonlight9989 is not online. moonlight9989
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 13162
11 Mar 2013 02:10 PM
gave*

damn
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moonlight9989 is not online. moonlight9989
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 13162
11 Mar 2013 02:11 PM
it's a good idea, but it's been done before

unoriginal, uncreative

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xxQuickSilver is not online. xxQuickSilver
Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 738
11 Mar 2013 02:11 PM
Ok, so here's the story... If the decal was done reviewing i could give u a visual, when it's ready, teh guy on the right is called firestorm. Firestorm is from around 2014

So this guy starts out ok, then he begins a conquest for power, he gets his dad to start an organization under the surname of MIST ( madley incorporation of satellite technology ). this is just a surname. So MIST develops a truckload of deadly weapons under anyone's knowledge, they release these weps in a war between North Korea and China. This isn't such a good idea, because instead of winning a war, it destroyed half the continent, so after that, they develop a wormhole generator, to bend time. Int he near future, the guy ont he left, cyclone, infiltrates the MIST HQ and uses the wormhole generator to "fix" the past... he succeeds, but he changed a bunch of other stuff that eh wasn't supposed to, and created a time-space rift (butterfly effect)... so now everyone is time traveling all over the place, trying to fix it, but they just make it worse.

:)
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TFH6478IsBoss is not online. TFH6478IsBoss
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 7898
11 Mar 2013 02:14 PM
Aren't North Korea and China allies?
Any reason for the war in this dystopian society?
And I'm assuming the made the wormhole to attempt to fix the aftermath of the nuclear war?
The story needs some polishing.

a winner is you
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Blenderman9000 is not online. Blenderman9000
Joined: 30 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 163
11 Mar 2013 02:15 PM
give this guy some more constructive critique!! and ur comic is really cool by the way =)

id like to see a continuation of this comic.
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moonlight9989 is not online. moonlight9989
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 13162
11 Mar 2013 02:16 PM
>Firestorm

same type of name used in warriors cats unoriginal

>So MIST develops a truckload of deadly weapons under anyone's knowledge, they release these weps in a war between North Korea and China.

place creates secret weapons starts war seen it before

>they develop a wormhole generator, to bend time

unoriginal

>he succeeds, but he changed a bunch of other stuff that eh wasn't supposed to, and created a time-space rift (butterfly effect)... so now everyone is time traveling all over the place, trying to fix it, but they just make it worse.

done before

I'm not saying it's necessarily bad (only really to me) just that it's riddled with unoriginality
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xxQuickSilver is not online. xxQuickSilver
Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 738
11 Mar 2013 02:16 PM
correct, as this is a fictional graphic novel, I spiced it up by adding a little conflict which broke the alliance... and yes correct again, MIST created the wormhole generator in an attempt to fix the damage that had been done, but Cyclone utilized the prototype, which still needed tweaking.
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xxQuickSilver is not online. xxQuickSilver
Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 738
11 Mar 2013 02:17 PM
I noticed, though this story is used on the basis of most science fiction stories, I tried to keep the story original as possible, but the main part of the story is about Spark, not the time space continuum, thx for feedback.
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moonlight9989 is not online. moonlight9989
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 13162
11 Mar 2013 02:19 PM
ju try to spice up the names a little

the story would be okay, I just think that the character's names need some work
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xxQuickSilver is not online. xxQuickSilver
Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 738
11 Mar 2013 02:20 PM
thx for the feedback, any advice?
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xxQuickSilver is not online. xxQuickSilver
Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 738
11 Mar 2013 02:20 PM
I'll keep into consideration, thx again :)
gtg eat lunch, ill take any replies after i eat
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xxQuickSilver is not online. xxQuickSilver
Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 738
11 Mar 2013 03:05 PM
im back...
IDK why the decal is still reviewing. :/
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TheToastedBread is not online. TheToastedBread
Joined: 25 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 7991
11 Mar 2013 03:06 PM
@moonlight:

Tryhard.
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meetthespy863 is not online. meetthespy863
Joined: 27 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 8629
11 Mar 2013 03:08 PM
OMG SO KAWAII 10/10 EDGY MARY SUES QUALITY ME3 GRADE WRITING
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Smellyapple is not online. Smellyapple
Joined: 10 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 22521
11 Mar 2013 03:09 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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xxQuickSilver is not online. xxQuickSilver
Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 738
11 Mar 2013 03:11 PM
might I ask some clarification?
i didn't understand anything that you said xD
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moonlight9989 is not online. moonlight9989
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 13162
11 Mar 2013 03:11 PM
just givin some criticism m8

trying to help

but I also tried not toi be an asshat this time
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