Jordan39
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| Joined: 23 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1241 |
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| 05 Mar 2013 12:49 PM |
(A brief freestyle)
If hearts skip beats, mine is darting through a race. With intentions of triumphantly making it to first place- Ushering the competition to attempt to keep its pace. Still swiftly beating its feet, with no time to waste. Dreaming, crowd screaming, live streaming.. As it heads towards the finish! Eyes on its trophy-the ocean can keep its fishes
[Hook]: Racers start your engine!
But as the finish line draws near, The race becomes more vicious.. Still it manages to finish business with its swiftness. So now it holds its trophy in its arms, For the competition to witness. A milestone love story turned fitness- The poem's pertaining to her Yet she probably won't get this. A live arrow that hits, but misses..
[Hook]: And the winner is... |
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Jordan39
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| Joined: 23 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1241 |
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Cryptonic
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| Joined: 21 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 3126 |
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| 06 Mar 2013 07:40 AM |
| Over powered, bumpers. about that I have it lol |
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PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 06 Mar 2013 09:32 AM |
| Good job J. Nice to see more Jenius songs out there bro. |
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Cryptonic
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| Joined: 21 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 3126 |
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| 06 Mar 2013 01:08 PM |
| Buddy why. u dont. jj |
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Jordan39
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| Joined: 23 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1241 |
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Jordan39
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| Joined: 23 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1241 |
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| 24 Mar 2013 06:32 PM |
| More comments and ratings please..? |
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lila47
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| Joined: 07 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 682 |
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fred man
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| Joined: 06 Sep 2006 |
| Total Posts: 8403 |
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| 24 Mar 2013 06:47 PM |
I kinda stop feeling the realism after the 2nd verse
and start your engine |
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Jared343
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| Joined: 02 Mar 2009 |
| Total Posts: 9030 |
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| 24 Mar 2013 06:59 PM |
| Your lyrics aren't bad, it's just the whole ro-rapping thing that holds you back. Start actually making music and you'll do so much better. |
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