PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 04 Jan 2013 10:37 PM |
First off: huge thanks to J-The-Jenius for doin this track with me. Hope y'all enjoy this collab. First time Nemesis and Jenius are on the same track. To anyone: Hit me up if you wanna do a track. V1 (Nemesis): I daydream, but I gotta wake up to be the top dog, In hellish jail cells they developin' hot bars, But if it's so hot, y'all, Then why ain't they meltin' the locks off? We all fall tryna be rock stars, Admit it -we're not, dog. Stop, pause, and listen, We're not all tryin to top charts, Just wanna get my message across./ How do y'all keep it quiet? We have the right to start a riot, How do we deny it? Livin' as yourself: You gotta try it. I'm gonna tell it how it is, I don't care if they like it./
Hook: Today I can see, so many slaves. And I can only imagine, them losing their chains. You're meant to be free, why aren't you today? If you don't know how, I'll show you the way.
V2 (J-The-Jenius): It's a shame the world put me inside this box.. Sam fisher, I dreaming about picking these locks. The restraining...I'm down like a bag under rocks. Welcome to my cell..nothing but the window talks- Kids strolling, mothers controlling - Dogs on their walks. I'd have to open my eyes and then listen.. Pray everyday that rotting won't be my endin'. Fear and insanity are the only competition. Sometimes I think escaping is my mission. But most importantly.. I'd like to thank my fans, oops, I mean my visitors. The calm talks, thick plots, and the good listeners.. Kept me in check all this time..call them 'The Petitioners'! Aside from the Father, my mind's the only deliverer. I wish I could see freedom again - I've been missin' her..
Hook: Today I can see, so many slaves. And I can only imagine, them losing their chains. You're meant to be free, why aren't you today? If you don't know how, I'll show you the way. |
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| 04 Jan 2013 10:56 PM |
| ^ Swag you are a living example of terrible rap's influence on children. . |
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| 04 Jan 2013 11:00 PM |
| SHUT UP NIKKA! I'LL MESS YO LITTLE [F] Ass HAIRLINE UP EVEN MORE! |
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| 04 Jan 2013 11:07 PM |
| ^ Classic. Insulting my Robloxian's hairline. . So original. |
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PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 04 Jan 2013 11:57 PM |
| Let both me and J know what you thought of the song by leavin your feedback. Hope y'all enjoyed this song as much as I did. |
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PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 05 Jan 2013 11:31 AM |
| Criticism, love, hate, anything guys. I gotta know where this song stands. |
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Jordan39
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| Joined: 23 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1241 |
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| 05 Jan 2013 02:41 PM |
| I spent approximately ten minutes writing my bit, yet I caught a mistake while reading it on the forums. "I dreaming..", I meant to type "I'm dreaming..". |
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Jordan39
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| Joined: 23 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1241 |
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| 05 Jan 2013 03:22 PM |
| Aside from that, I could really use some constructive criticism. |
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PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 05 Jan 2013 03:30 PM |
| Dang, 10 minutes? I usually take 15 or so to do mine. I know what you sayin though, I've wrote 6 songs so far, and still have no criticism or anything helpful. |
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PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 05 Jan 2013 05:31 PM |
| Someone put up a 1-10 or anything. Just some kinda feedback... |
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PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 05 Jan 2013 07:19 PM |
| I'm lookin to get signed by a GOOD record group. Let me know if you're interested and have a good one, not one full of those noobs that are all, 'swag YOLO homie yo yo yo' all the time. |
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| 05 Jan 2013 09:13 PM |
Out of my long and illustrious musical career, only two songs have reminded me so prominenly of the long-term (but more importantly, short-term) benefits of global human extinction. The first being a slightly worse than nauseating collaboration of synthesised drumkits, trombones, and the voice of Winston Churchill, and the second being a convoluted creation whose genesis had appeared to be directly linked to Ed Milliband's excretory fluids. Sadly, I must admit that both of these songs had originated from the disgraceful likes of J-The-Jenius and PenBlade, who should seek to sort out their childish, liberal misconceptions of the subject of freedom before they attempt to string any more words together and end up further spitting and regurgitating foulness onto the full English breakfast that is rap music.
I'd like to thank you swag yolo homie dogs for writing this. Then I'd like to rate it 10 stars. Out of 10000000.
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jubril101
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| Joined: 30 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 367 |
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| 05 Jan 2013 11:03 PM |
| Want my criticism? Fix the Hook thing... I think you meant Chorus, and ttry to make the song LONGEr so people cna get the puncline.. |
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Jordan39
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| Joined: 23 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1241 |
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| 06 Jan 2013 03:03 PM |
| Hey, I just did verse 2..everything else was created by pen. |
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PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 06 Jan 2013 09:18 PM |
| @Jubril, thanks for your advice, I'll try and make my songs longer in the future. And in rap, at least the rap I grew up with, the Chorus was always referred to as the hook and I'm keepin it that way in my songs. Thanks for you feedback. |
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| 07 Jan 2013 09:52 AM |
10/10 didn't read lol
"Fighting not good. But if must fight, win." -Keisuke Miyagi |
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PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 07 Jan 2013 10:56 AM |
| Aw come one man! ;) just kiddin. |
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link6249
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| Joined: 06 Jan 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2671 |
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| 07 Jan 2013 11:03 AM |
| Pen, seriously, I'm telling you, Don't Ro-Rap, It's a waste of time, and you don't win anything but collaborating with Mediocre artists. |
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PenBlade
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| Joined: 27 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1633 |
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| 07 Jan 2013 11:09 AM |
| I write raps in real life that I will definitely not be putting on here. And that's exactly my point, it wastes time and it gives me some ideas for actual songs that I'll be making. And J-The-Jenius is one of the only other good 'ro-rappers' that I've seen. |
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| 07 Jan 2013 12:04 PM |
| awesome i wana be in one of your songs |
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lila47
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| Joined: 07 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 682 |
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| 07 Jan 2013 03:21 PM |
@15 minutes
I take 10 days on mine D: |
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shonyshon
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| Joined: 23 Feb 2008 |
| Total Posts: 8192 |
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| 07 Jan 2013 03:29 PM |
I like the message.
7/10. Work on the delivery. |
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LilRac
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| Joined: 17 Aug 2012 |
| Total Posts: 572 |
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| 07 Jan 2013 03:31 PM |
| Pen, you obviously have not met some of the Ro-Rappers then. Lila here is a great Ro-Song artist. I have been told that I am quite good. Mary isn't bad either. JJ is still good though. Big up to JJ. |
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