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| 10 Feb 2013 07:16 PM |
Really bored so I started writing a random story, not really sure what it is about, and what the title is. Lol. You don't need to read, and I don't really care about your opinions on it either. :/ I have not finished. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I wake up dazed, opening my eyes open to a white ceiling with dimmed bar lights. I notice I was lying in bed, surrounded by very few things, a very small table and a chair at the end of the bed, and two curtains on each side. I attempt to get up, with a grueling pain in my chest developing in progress. With a quiet yelp of agony, I continue at a slow pace. My feet touch the cold ground. Struggling, my arms shaking against the bed, too weak to lift myself up, I fall to the ground and rest my head against the bed. I felt hot, and a sizzling pain surged through my entire body. What happened? Where am I? Why am I here? There were many questions jumping around in my mind. I needed answers, the motivation made me get up again, ignoring the throbbing which indeed where from my wounds, but from where? I skid my bandaged feet pass the curtains, and looked to the left as there was a window, it is night time. Looking into the night sky, my vision slowly turns to the pass. |
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| 10 Feb 2013 07:31 PM |
| reminds me of a movie where a guy wakes up in a hospital and there is no one around and he has no memory of what happened |
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| 10 Feb 2013 07:31 PM |
| It's pretty good, but some of your tenses need fixing |
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| 10 Feb 2013 07:32 PM |
Ironic that you're a good writer and your name is "shadow". Because there's this guy, Shadowfan and... oh god he writes awful. |
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| 10 Feb 2013 07:33 PM |
I am just saying, I am not trying to base this off of anything. Just came to my mind.
I actually have to say, I stink at writing. My grammar is very poor and I usually write run on sentences and fragments.
derp. |
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Stevey254
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| Joined: 25 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 11 |
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| 10 Feb 2013 07:38 PM |
| Keep writing and don't give up on it. Maybe someone may publish it as a book. |
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| 10 Feb 2013 07:39 PM |
its pretty good, and you don't need a title yet
its best to decide a title at the end of writing |
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| 10 Feb 2013 07:43 PM |
| Pretty good so far, Shadow. I see you have some writing skill. Even though you don't see it. |
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| 10 Feb 2013 08:05 PM |
@Dajones Yeyeyeyeye. I just notice I made a weird mistake I the first sentence. Ugh. @Starwars Haha, thanks. |
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tnt91
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| Joined: 14 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 43390 |
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ok876
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| Joined: 20 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 2285 |
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| 10 Feb 2013 08:08 PM |
I don't feel like reading this right now, SO TRACK!
ok876 |
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goco2
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| Joined: 21 Nov 2011 |
| Total Posts: 950 |
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| 11 Feb 2013 06:37 PM |
continued: Suddenly a tall man with broad shoulders and ruffled hair steps in. "I see your finally awake." He said |
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