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Re: Story [Not named as of yet]

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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
28 Dec 2012 12:03 AM
PROLOGUE

From the outskirts of the city of Agrabah, two figures watched the flames dance across the rooftops, and listened to the distinct wails of the citizens in vain. One figure with bright olive skin and dark, slate armour wore a delightful smile, while her companion expressed no emotion.

"Alright, that will do. Let it rain," droned the woman. In her left arm, she wielded a long, slim staff with a vibrant, luminous sphere that gave off a greenish-blue glow. She raised the staff skyward; as she did so, a stream of green light erupted from the magic-encasing sphere and spanned across the sky above Agrabah. Subsequently, clouds had begun to compile and amass above the city, and a downpour of rain soon followed. The villainous and her acquaintance gazed upon the dying fires until every last one had been exhausted by the rain.

Only now did the woman's companion smile, raising the thin goatee below his nostrils. With his bony fingers, he removed his black headdress and tucked it under his arm. "Maleficent, I can't thank you enough for your service. This... this is what I always dreamed of seeing!" With outspread arms, he gestured to the city walls, still slightly smoldering along the scales, but still firm enough to secure the new headquarters.

"Don't be too delighted," the sorceress warned. "That boy - I believe you called him Aladdin - is still out there somewhere, waiting, watching, perhaps devising. I mean, it is rather convenient that he didn't make an appearance during our foray, wouldn't you agree Jafar?"

Jafar's confidence dwindled; his smile faded. He was mortified that he'd forgotten such an obvious threat endangering his plot. Aladdin, that little runt! Where was he? What was he planning? A retaliation? When would he strike... and where? How? Surely he couldn't recruit enough forces to oppress the all-power Jafar and his quick-witted companion Maleficent! This was his city now, and no street rat would take it away from him!

"I said, are you coming?" Malificent snapped. She was getting awfully antsy. "If you want to keep your precious city, it would be wise to come and assist me."

"Oh? Where are we going?" inquired Jafar.

Maleficent stood in front of a portal, composed of dark energy, glowering at Jafar as he returned to his senses. "We are leaving for the time be. Recruiting is crucial if we want to carry out our plans, and we will be recruiting elsewhere."

"Elsewhere? Where is elsewhere? And, ah... what plans did we have in mind?" the sorcerer asked, clearly disconcerted.

Maleficent's stony gaze only hardened at her companion's inquiries. "We are traveling to another world, another realm. Surely you knew that? I mean, where did you suppose I came from?"

Now that Maleficent had mentioned it, Jafar did wonder where the sorceress had come from. She was unmistakably foreign in these parts, judging by her attire and her magic. But Jafar had never been further than the desert, so he couldn't conclude where she had come from. Perhaps there really were other worlds and dimensions beyond his own. After all, Maleficent hadn't seemed content with the seizure of Agrabah. Her plans probably extended beyond his own world, and possibly beyond hers as well. Suddenly, Jafar felt flustered and unsure of this whole plot. But he did not share his doubts with Maleficent.

"Oh, I'm coming," said Jafar. He followed the sorceress into the portal, and in an instant the passage beyond Jafar's world was closed. Some distance away, the silhoutte of a boy moved out from behind a rock and approached the area in which Jafar and the foreign sorceress Maleficent had been standing only moments ago, and knelt by their footprints that were quickly being washed away by the rain. A small, rather anxious monkey on the boy's shoulder pointed consistently at the burning city of Agrabah.

"I hear you, Abu," the boy whispered, even though he knew the threat was gone for now. "I wish we could help, but there's nothing we can do... not yet." This sparked an idea. A clever, risky, absurd idea. With an air of enthusiasm, the boy arose from the ground and sprinted into the arid desert. What was left of the boy were his footprints, and even those had begun to wash away.

---

Alright, so this is just the prolouge of a story I'm writing. Yes, it is Disney-based, and it will include several Disney characters, ranging from Mulan to Jack Skellington. This was inspired by some pictures on dA [you should really check them out. They're by AznNerd]. So, I'd appreciate some constructive criticism. :>
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
28 Dec 2012 07:59 AM
Bump.
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SuperGogeta101 is not online. SuperGogeta101
Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 8364
28 Dec 2012 08:05 AM
[ Content Deleted ]
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
28 Dec 2012 08:07 AM
Oh, I just noticed some errors that I'll need to fix...
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loppolh is not online. loppolh
Joined: 26 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 6164
28 Dec 2012 08:07 AM
Coo.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
28 Dec 2012 08:16 AM
Thank yee.
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loppolh is not online. loppolh
Joined: 26 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 6164
28 Dec 2012 08:18 AM
Look, no more hostilities.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
28 Dec 2012 08:20 AM
I noticed. o;

Anyways, I fixed the errors on a Word document. :v
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
28 Dec 2012 11:04 AM
Here's the edited version..

---

PROLOGUE

From the outskirts of the city of Agrabah, two figures watched the flames dance across the rooftops, and listened to the distinct wails of the citizens in vain. One figure with bright olive skin and dark, slate armour wore a smug smile, while her companion expressed no emotion.

"Alright, that will do. Let it rain," droned the woman. In her left arm, she wielded a long, slim staff with a vibrant, luminous sphere that gave off a greenish-blue glow. She raised the staff skyward; as she did so, a stream of green light erupted from the magic-encasing sphere and spanned across the sky above Agrabah. Subsequently, clouds had begun to compile and amass above the city, and a downpour of rain soon followed. The villainous and her acquaintance gazed upon the dying fires until almost every last one had been exhausted by the rain.

Only now did the woman's companion smile, raising the thin goatee below his nostrils. With his bony fingers, he removed his black headdress and tucked it under his arm. "Maleficent, I can't thank you enough for your service. This... this is what I always dreamed of seeing!" With outspread arms, he gestured to the city walls, still slightly smoldering along the scales, but still firm enough to secure the new headquarters.

"Don't be too delighted," the sorceress warned. "That boy - I believe you called him Aladdin - is still out there somewhere, waiting, watching, perhaps devising. I mean, it is rather convenient that he didn't make an appearance during our foray, wouldn't you agree Jafar?"

Jafar's confidence dwindled; his smile faded. He was mortified that he'd forgotten such an obvious threat endangering his plot. Aladdin, that little runt! Where was he? What was he planning? A retaliation? When would he strike... and where? How? Surely he couldn't recruit enough forces to oppress the all-power Jafar and his quick-witted companion Maleficent! This was his city now, and no street rat would take it away from him!

"I said, are you coming?" Malificent snapped. She was getting awfully antsy. "If you want to keep your precious city, it would be wise to come and assist me."

"Oh? Where are we going?" inquired Jafar.

Maleficent stood in front of a portal, composed of dark energy, glowering at Jafar as he returned to his senses. "We are leaving for the time be. Recruiting is crucial if we want to carry out our plans, and we will be recruiting elsewhere."

"Elsewhere? Where is elsewhere? And, ah... what plans did we have in mind?" the sorcerer asked, clearly disconcerted.

Maleficent's stony gaze only hardened at her companion's inquiries. "We are traveling to another world, another realm. Surely you knew that? I mean, where did you suppose I came from?"

Now that Maleficent had mentioned it, Jafar did wonder where the sorceress had come from. She was unmistakably foreign in these parts, judging by her attire and her magic. But Jafar had never been further than the desert, so he couldn't conclude where she had come from. Perhaps there really were other worlds and dimensions beyond his own. After all, Maleficent hadn't expressed too much exuberance when the pair had seized Agrabah. Her plans probably extended beyond his own world, and possibly beyond hers as well. Suddenly, Jafar felt flustered and unsure of this whole plot. But he did not share his doubts with Maleficent.

"Oh, I'm coming," said Jafar. He followed the sorceress into the portal, and in an instant the passage beyond Jafar's world was closed. Some distance away, the dark silhouette of a boy moved out from behind a rock and approached the area in which Jafar and the foreign sorceress Maleficent had recently been standing, and knelt by their footprints that were quickly being washed-out. A relatively small, rather anxious monkey on the boy's shoulder pointed consistently at the burning city of Agrabah.

"I hear you, Abu," the boy whispered, even though he knew the threat was gone for now. "I wish we could help, but there's nothing we can do... not yet." That sparked an idea. A clever, risky, absurd idea. With an air of enthusiasm, the boy arose from the ground and scurried hastily into the expanse of the arid desert. The only sign that the boy had ever been there were the footprints in the sand, and even those had begun to wash away.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
28 Dec 2012 06:35 PM
Blahjahmahdababahaaddadadada bump
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Mr44 is not online. Mr44
Joined: 04 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 2628
28 Dec 2012 06:56 PM
Not reading it, on the basis it's fan faction.

Sorry, had an unbelievably horrid experience with fan fiction, and I don't want to relive it.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
28 Dec 2012 07:06 PM
Well, alright then.
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snakehunt is not online. snakehunt
Joined: 22 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 34463
28 Dec 2012 07:08 PM
Oogie Boogie
Oogie Boogie
Oogie Boogie
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
29 Dec 2012 10:46 PM
nuu Oogie Boogie

I'll be using Maleficent, Jafar, the Evil Queen, Hades, the Queen of Hearts, Shan Yu, and Ursula. I'd use Captain Hook, but y'know, he's a pretty clumsy villain.
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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
29 Dec 2012 10:47 PM
No Frolo? But he is the best Disney villain! Even if he isn't technically a Disney villain...
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
29 Dec 2012 10:57 PM
Well, I feel like he would be out of place. Since this is fan-fiction based off of fan art, the villains that pictures for reference display a lot of strength and dominance. They either have powerful magic or a lot of experience with a weapon.

I don't see where Frollo would fit in. Besides, Quasimodo isn't even one of the characters. .-.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
29 Dec 2012 10:58 PM
that have pictures*
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snakehunt is not online. snakehunt
Joined: 22 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 34463
29 Dec 2012 11:05 PM
Oogieeeeee boogieeeeeee
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
29 Dec 2012 11:12 PM
Trying to sketch a design for the Evil Queen.

I just disgraced Walt Disney.
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