Jamocha
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| Joined: 15 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 7117 |
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| 24 Dec 2012 10:39 PM |
Bump! On an early Christmas morning, three young OTers jumped with a start at the frightening sound of a crash on the roof. They all looked at each other with thoughtful frowns until a smile cracked upon each of their faces. "Santa!" they simultaneously exclaimed as they jumped out of bed and crept downstairs.
Peering through the stairwell, they sat and waited for Santa to come down the chimney, which was adorned with Christmas paraphernalia and stockings. They waited, and waited, and waited still... until, yes, finally!
A dark figure strewed in bubbly fat rolled down the chimney and heftily plumped down into the unlit fireplace. The children covered their mouths in delight to keep themselves from laughing and giggling at the thought of finally seeing Santa.
The plump figure walked over to the milk and cookies so neatly laid out for Santa and began to violently bang her face against the plate of cookies and glass of milk until they were reduced to a mass of broken glass and cookies.
Suddenly Jamocha flipped around and stared directly at the frightened children. "Merry Christmas!" she screeched into the air as she flung herself upon the Christmas tree and began to pick off the ornaments and fling them at the children with her blubbery arms.
When she was exasperated and tired, she sat on all of the kids' Christmas presents all at once and moved her lardaceous backside back and forth until the gifts were reduced to nothing more than smashed cardboard.
With a twinkle in her eye, she grasped several candy canes with her chubby fingers, shoved them into her mouth cavity, and crawled back up the chimney.
The end, and have a very Merry Christmas, Off Topic! |
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Jamocha
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| Joined: 15 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 7117 |
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| 24 Dec 2012 11:17 PM |
| You literally just made me cry. |
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Jamocha
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| Joined: 15 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 7117 |
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| 25 Dec 2012 07:31 AM |
| "Jokes on you! One of my presents was actually full of thumbtacks." |
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| 25 Dec 2012 07:32 AM |
Oh my god.
That...
That was beautiful.. |
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Jamocha
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| Joined: 15 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 7117 |
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| 25 Dec 2012 08:49 AM |
| I'm glad everyone liked it. :) |
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Jamocha
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| Joined: 15 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 7117 |
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| 25 Dec 2012 09:01 AM |
| One last bump before I get off for the day. |
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Pathus
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| Joined: 18 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 103 |
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| 25 Dec 2012 09:03 AM |
epic.
-MW2Ghost9897's alt, Pathus |
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Litemare
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| Joined: 10 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 50666 |
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| 25 Dec 2012 09:04 AM |
| i feel like this would make a good short film |
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| 25 Dec 2012 09:06 AM |
That was the best OT fanfiction I've ever read
no joke |
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| 25 Dec 2012 09:14 AM |
beneath her walls of logic a cheerful sadist sleeps
tsk tsk |
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| 25 Dec 2012 09:16 AM |
| "Jokes on you! I asked for poison darts for christmas!" |
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Jamocha
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| Joined: 15 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 7117 |
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| 25 Dec 2012 10:15 AM |
| It doesn't matter- my walls of blubbery fat prevent anything from harming me. |
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Jamocha
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| Joined: 15 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 7117 |
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| 25 Dec 2012 10:41 AM |
... ... ...I... ...I thought the nightmares were over. ;_; |
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Jamocha
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| Joined: 15 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 7117 |
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| 25 Dec 2012 11:37 AM |
| how much does jamocha weigh :o |
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Jamocha
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| Joined: 15 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 7117 |
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| 25 Dec 2012 11:55 AM |
| Well, in real life, I only weigh about 52 kilograms. I just didn't want to be mean to anyone, so I used myself. |
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igiul3104
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| Joined: 22 Jan 2009 |
| Total Posts: 67 |
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| 26 Dec 2012 07:47 AM |
Awesome story +++ Jamocha, 52 kg :o You aren't that fat :3 |
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| 26 Dec 2012 07:50 AM |
the first time i read it i thought you shoved the children in your mouth cavity then i read it again and it wasnt as good the second time |
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