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Re: ¢нαιηє∂ тσ нαтє

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Rianbowstar12 is not online. Rianbowstar12
Joined: 06 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7484
17 Dec 2012 10:25 PM
He posed on his throne, clutching a beautiful gold goblet embellished with a few gems near the brim. Drops of red wine flowed down his lips and into his fuzzy beard after he took a sip from the cup. His eyes laid sight on his respected royal subjects- the nobles.
The subjects sat upon the cushioned wooden chairs as they smiled at their beloved king.

“Nobles!” he called them in a booming voice, but gently- as he rose his cup.
“Today is another victorious day! Many years ago my father just started with weak timber village and now it stands as a sturdy stone kingdom! Cheers to my father, Sadon!”

“Sadon!” the people replied with pearly smiles before their tongues drowned in the wine. Their laughter and chatter roared wildly across the room, though some feasted among their meals- sparing the talk.

“But!” the king interrupted them, raising his cup higher.
“Our enemy is still out there, and our swords will rise up higher each day until we watch his white flag rise, flapping wildly for mercy.

Though he is going to need Althalos’ blessings, he may be my enemy but he is still my brother and Sadon would not want me to fight him with a cold heart.

Let us call down a blessing.

Dear Althatlos,

We admire you for your splendid glory, for sparing the cruel personality, for shining light into our lives, for not leaving us in the dark.

We apologize for our stubborn souls for our closed minds, for our sinful hearts. We strive to become a light bearer, though we know we will always fail without you.

Thank you for permitting our city great, thank you that it is a pure blessing, and letting me be a leader.

Now I pray, we pray for our enemy, my brother. I beg you to lead him, shine light into his dark heart, the way you shined it into ours.

Thank you.”

After the prayer the audience was rather quiet as they chewed on their food in silence. Not a noise was sounded, no creak, nothing, but the feasting of the people. Though the king sat in perhaps sorrow, each moment he remembers his brother, he is filled with depression.

“When it hits midnight dismiss the crowd,” he whispered to his trusted duke.

“But sir—,” duke interrupted a beating, a pounding upon the door.

“In the lowest layers of the underworld is knocking on that bloody door?!” the king roared fist tightened.

But responded no answer but the collapsing of the doors. In came warriors, though they were not unknown aliens of another land, no the king knew the leader all too well. They wore fine armor, steel, rare armor. In their hands grasped sliver swords. Each one of them wore helmets but the leader, no the leader shone his face clearly.

“Tybalt?” the king questioned in shock and horror as he stood up bravely.
“What do you want?!”

“Oh don’t act like fool, Peter!” Tybalt shouted to the king, waving his blade at him.
“You know exactly why I am here! To take back what is rightfully mine!!!”

Peter unleashed his weapon, a fine sword of his own made with also sliver.

“You must stop, brother. Please, if you don’t you will be my prisoner, my slave.”

“Your prisoner?! YOUR SLAVE?! You think I am surrounded?! Really, what do you think I have been doing ever since I left you and father? Catching butterflies? And be your slave?! We will see who the slave is!”

The warrior bashed his blade against his brother’s. The moment Tybalt was just about to strike again, Peter threw down his weapon, raising his arms up in surrender.

“Your anger grows like a fire on fresh wood,” the wise king spoke.
“Your hate will consume you.”

“And my blade will do the same to your life--!” Tybalt shouted though he could not execute his slice of his brother’s neck.

“Wait!”

“What now?!”

“Remember the last words father spoke, ‘Brothers may fight but never take each other’s life.’”

“Why would I care what that old goat says?!

He let you become king because he was your FAVORITE! IT WAS MY TURN TO BECOME KING! BUT NO HE PICKED YOU!”

It angered Peter when he insulted their father but fighting back just as hateful would never settle anything.
“It was fate, my destiny, and he saw it out.”

“I too see your fate, you will be my slave. Your children, children’s child, even your descendants will be my slave, serve under my people.”

“As you wish, brother. As you wish.”


And that is what begun the slavery of Peter’s generation, once a great king became a low slave, forced to polish the dirt off his brother’s foot with his tongue. Some have rebelled only left to become slaves. Though, some live in royalty in one of the cities of Tybalt’s empire. What will you be? What is your destiny?

General Rules-
1. No Mary Sues
2. No Godmodding
3.Follow Roblox Rules
4. Stay active unless you have an acceptable excuse
5.Follow Roblox’s terms of service
6.Use “()” when not role-playing.
7.Have acceptable grammar.
-Character Forms-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Slave-
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Race:
Appearance:
Slave type: (Construction slave, military salve, personal slave, dancer slave, and ECT)
Brand mark:
How you became a slave:
Personality:
Bio:
Disabilities:
Fears:
Why should I accept you?:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Master (Masters have to buy a personable slave)-
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Race:
Appearance:
Name(s) of owned slaves:
Occupation/ Job:
Personality:
Bio:
Disabilities:
Fears:
Why should I accept you? :
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Other-
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Race:
Appearance:
Occupation/ Job:
Personality:
Bio:
Disabilities:
Fears:
Why should I accept you?:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Royalty-

Name:
Age:
Gender:
Race:
Appearance:
Occupation/ Job:
What are you responsible for?:
Are you for slavery?:
Personality:
Bio:
Disabilities:
Fears:
Why should I accept you?:






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Jinxy is not online. Jinxy
Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Total Posts: 18317
17 Dec 2012 10:31 PM
(Alright, I'm a bit iffy on what's going on here. The middle part confused me. Did the king hear knocking from the underworld or what?)
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Rianbowstar12 is not online. Rianbowstar12
Joined: 06 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7484
17 Dec 2012 10:46 PM
(No, it was more like a curse such as, 'Who the hell is that?')
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jetthehawk is not online. jetthehawk
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Total Posts: 5529
17 Dec 2012 10:47 PM
This looked really good until I saw the last part of the CS.

Are you serious.

I'm done.

That's it.

Goodnight.
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Rianbowstar12 is not online. Rianbowstar12
Joined: 06 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7484
17 Dec 2012 10:56 PM
(Okay, we all have our disagreements.)
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Jinxy is not online. Jinxy
Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Total Posts: 18317
17 Dec 2012 11:04 PM
Alright, I'll do some critique first.

1) The special character title. This is a pet peeve of mine, I don't usually join RPs with special characters because it's a wasted effort. Sure, it looks pretty and all that, but meat and bones, it's not really worth it. It's a common trend if you look around at it. Which is why I usually only use simple characters for the titles, and usually use {} or -=xxxxxx=- to denote that the story takes place in the same world, but in a different part of it.

2) The word wall is nice, lot of information in there. Make some more of the in-world things understandable though. We don't usually know anything of what is going on in your world. I'm not usually fond of putting conversation in my back stories, but I know it's sometimes needed to give it a real feel.

That's the two most glaring things that bothered me, really.
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snakehunt is not online. snakehunt
Joined: 22 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 34463
17 Dec 2012 11:05 PM
(What the heck does a dancer save do-

Never mind.....)
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Rianbowstar12 is not online. Rianbowstar12
Joined: 06 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7484
18 Dec 2012 10:57 AM
(I am not trying to be arrogant, Jinxy.

But what you listed is the style I create roleplays.

Now, yes I have in past month or two created the simple roleplay with no fancy title. Though no one seems to be joining even though it is orginial so I decided to go back to the old way I make roleplays...)
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Jinxy is not online. Jinxy
Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Total Posts: 18317
18 Dec 2012 03:39 PM
(I know that's your style, I'm just saying why I wouldn't join it if I didn't read it through. It's like I said earlier, you should try and build up a niche of friends who enjoy your RPs.)
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l0ldude1 is not online. l0ldude1
Joined: 08 May 2011
Total Posts: 4404
18 Dec 2012 04:00 PM
Well, this obviously could turn out as a successful RP. This isn't like all of the unoriginal "I did it because I was bored" stuff.
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Rianbowstar12 is not online. Rianbowstar12
Joined: 06 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7484
18 Dec 2012 04:00 PM
(How do I do that?)
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l0ldude1 is not online. l0ldude1
Joined: 08 May 2011
Total Posts: 4404
18 Dec 2012 04:02 PM
(Build up a niche of friends who like your RPs. I like your RPs, and the Confederation kicked me out... *Mumbling*)
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l0ldude1 is not online. l0ldude1
Joined: 08 May 2011
Total Posts: 4404
18 Dec 2012 04:03 PM
(I just realised everyone's gonna think I'm a newbie. Look at the date I made this account! Well, I joined in 2007 *autobiography persues*)
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Rianbowstar12 is not online. Rianbowstar12
Joined: 06 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7484
18 Dec 2012 04:10 PM
(It is hard to make friends when I am always hiding.)
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l0ldude1 is not online. l0ldude1
Joined: 08 May 2011
Total Posts: 4404
18 Dec 2012 04:12 PM
(Always hiding? You started some of the greatest RPs in forum history. I know the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of RP is When Heroes Rise)
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Rianbowstar12 is not online. Rianbowstar12
Joined: 06 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7484
18 Dec 2012 04:14 PM
(Really? But after that no one cares about my work.)
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l0ldude1 is not online. l0ldude1
Joined: 08 May 2011
Total Posts: 4404
18 Dec 2012 04:16 PM
(I know, but you made RP history. I think a lot of people would be prepared to team with you after that. I know you made another slightly recognisable RP, te sequel to that, but naturally, it withered away.)
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Rianbowstar12 is not online. Rianbowstar12
Joined: 06 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7484
18 Dec 2012 04:19 PM
(I am going to need help to make a group.))
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jetthehawk is not online. jetthehawk
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Total Posts: 5529
18 Dec 2012 04:22 PM
(I don't think there's a list of "Greatest RP's".)
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l0ldude1 is not online. l0ldude1
Joined: 08 May 2011
Total Posts: 4404
18 Dec 2012 04:24 PM
This is obviously turning into a discussion page. Don't use brackets anymore.

There isn't an "official" list of unarguable best RPs, but we can all say When Heroes Rise was pretty darn good.
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jetthehawk is not online. jetthehawk
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Total Posts: 5529
18 Dec 2012 04:25 PM
(I don't recall that RP...are you just making stuff up?)
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l0ldude1 is not online. l0ldude1
Joined: 08 May 2011
Total Posts: 4404
18 Dec 2012 04:25 PM
As for the group, I think I can help.
I've been thinking about making an RP group that does *not* require S.k.ype.
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Jinxy is not online. Jinxy
Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Total Posts: 18317
18 Dec 2012 04:25 PM
What I did to make my niche is I went and looked at the creators of RPs that I enjoyed playing in and with.
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l0ldude1 is not online. l0ldude1
Joined: 08 May 2011
Total Posts: 4404
18 Dec 2012 04:26 PM
Well, Jett, I don't recall seeing you on the RP pages for long.
It hasn't been on the front pages recently, but it was great when its time was passing.
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l0ldude1 is not online. l0ldude1
Joined: 08 May 2011
Total Posts: 4404
18 Dec 2012 04:26 PM
Same. Supermariomania is the best buddy I have to RP and write RPs with. He's great.
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