Doodle560
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| Joined: 27 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5660 |
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Doodle560
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| Joined: 27 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5660 |
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Doodle560
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| Joined: 27 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5660 |
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Doodle560
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| Joined: 27 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5660 |
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Wrought
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| Joined: 04 Nov 2012 |
| Total Posts: 161 |
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| 24 Nov 2012 10:50 PM |
Just curious, how did your character 'see' him if everything was 'pitch black'?
But overall, I liked it. |
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Doodle560
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| Joined: 27 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5660 |
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ela567
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| Joined: 14 Sep 2008 |
| Total Posts: 674 |
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| 25 Nov 2012 10:57 AM |
| Lack of paragraphs and bad grammar. Other than that, this is actually quite a pretty scary story. |
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Doodle560
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| Joined: 27 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5660 |
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Doodle560
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| Joined: 27 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5660 |
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| 25 Nov 2012 12:14 PM |
"Fear of The Dark"-Iron Maiden. Derp. -- ≈Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! I'a, Cthulhu fhtagn! I'a, Cthulhu fhtagn! I'a, Cthulhu fhtagn!≈ |
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| 25 Nov 2012 01:18 PM |
This is a good pasta. The chilling details add realism, too.
ßĀĊΘП |
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Doodle560
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| Joined: 27 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5660 |
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