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Re: New Song, "The Story of Apollo" by Me

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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
Ladies and Gentlemen! Put your hands together for..The Great Apollo!

Uhh

Let me tell you a story bro.
About a young kid with a godly flow
His name is Apollo
He was the one who chose the right path to follow

One day, when he was 9
Young Apollo was on his way home
But he was running out of time

It was getting dark
Then a dog started to bark
He got scared
He ran into an alley where a rap battle was about to start

"Let me see what you got!" One of the guys yelled
The guy told them his message of his legend that he upheld

But it wasn't just talking
He had this sort of rhythm that would make a deaf man come walking
It followed the beat
Line after line until he made the other man retreat

That was the day the young Apollo went home to say..
"Dad I want to be a rapper, and I'll be like Tupac someday!"

He ran into his room
Pulled out his notebook and each rhyme came out like a BOOM
Faster and faster
He kept going until the rap game is what he mastered

The next day at school
He told his friends, but they called him a fool

Then the whole school was against him
Each day was a constant struggle but he had his notebook to bring him back to his senses

Just then, he got an idea
Rap in the talent show
Maybe then some people could appeal
Or feel..
His talent and his message
About a young boy who just wanted to be real

Weeks later..
Song after song..
He got up on that stage
And even not very long..
The whole school came together to sing along in his song

Never give up.
Be a leader, don't follow.
Only follow your dreams..
This is the Story of Apollo
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 03:55 PM
Bump
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GnomeHarrison is not online. GnomeHarrison
Joined: 26 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 149
03 Nov 2012 04:01 PM
Needs more gnomes.
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 04:09 PM
You know, I was thinking that, but then I'm like, "No that's just stupid."
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ducky980 is not online. ducky980
Joined: 01 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 9083
03 Nov 2012 04:14 PM
Needs more justin biber
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spicey123 is not online. spicey123
Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 5130
03 Nov 2012 04:25 PM
Apollo doesn't rap, rather he writes haikus.

Apollo is the greatest
Greek god of the sun, the best.
I am so awesome.

Or atleast according to Percy Jackson he does.
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 04:27 PM
My rap name is Apollo..it's about me.
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ducky980 is not online. ducky980
Joined: 01 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 9083
03 Nov 2012 04:27 PM
Im the best so u iz rong
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 04:29 PM
Could I actually get some feedback about the song? Lol
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ducky980 is not online. ducky980
Joined: 01 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 9083
03 Nov 2012 04:33 PM
Itz not good. I'd rather go back to talking about me
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racsmnoz is not online. racsmnoz
Joined: 12 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 1282
03 Nov 2012 04:40 PM
On a serious note: Needs less "paragraphs" and time the rhymes to fit. You cant have a long bar then a short one.

Less serious: Needs more Ducky

-Highs and lows, thats how life flows-
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 04:46 PM
You can have a long bar and a short one. You might not be reading like how I intended I to be read. Don't criticize how I write my songs..I you're going to criticize anything, criticize the song.
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lila47 is not online. lila47
Joined: 07 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 682
03 Nov 2012 04:47 PM
Needs more ducky
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 09:20 PM
bump
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 09:55 PM
bump
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
03 Nov 2012 11:14 PM
10/10
First you were Wiz, then Chris Brown, Frank Ocean, Earl Sweat, everyone bow to the new improved Lebron.......APOLLO :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 11:17 PM
Thanks Radical :D
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shonyshon is not online. shonyshon
Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 8192
03 Nov 2012 11:31 PM
Eff yo round of applause.
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ducky980 is not online. ducky980
Joined: 01 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 9083
03 Nov 2012 11:33 PM
dis waz bad and if you changed your name and pretended to be someone else that many time i dont think you have the right to live

YOLO
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
03 Nov 2012 11:56 PM
I never pretended to be anyone else. Roblox is a game. Not real life.
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ducky980 is not online. ducky980
Joined: 01 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 9083
03 Nov 2012 11:58 PM
Because YOLO, didnt see that coming there is no comeback to that
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
04 Nov 2012 12:14 AM
I'm a cat. I have 9 lives. Trick.

How's that for a comeback?
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ducky980 is not online. ducky980
Joined: 01 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 9083
04 Nov 2012 12:15 AM
I'll slay you 9 times
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
04 Nov 2012 12:17 AM
I'm an immortal cat. I don't die.. and I'm a cat.

Meow, Ducky. Meow.
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ducky980 is not online. ducky980
Joined: 01 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 9083
04 Nov 2012 12:22 AM
But i iz ducky an cat nu talk so go way noww
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