altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
|
| 28 Oct 2012 07:04 PM |
(This is a song I wrote like a year ago and just found, tell me what you think)
I'm a Peter pan man jumping out windows without a parachute, Torturing captain hook on his own boat before I shoot, Then call up my fairies in never land, And tell them I don't believe so they pass out on quicksand. I'm breaking into tree houses without a ladder, Soon as I get in tinker bell hides me under, The bed with her nice little magic that made me shrink, Now Christopher Robinson walked in and I'm starting to think, What's he doing here, Poo's in another story right, Ya I'm sure so I got ready to fight, but kept hiding, Then I started finding, A lot of guys were walking in, Chris here was committing a sin. I got outta the bed and he asked are you the next one, I said listen here son, I'm not that open so don't ask me again, But he did so I threw him out the window from where I got in. Gators greet me when I stop by and meet em, Jump out the window, youll fly if you believe...... oops I just killed them. Well does never land have Halloween cause I'll call that a set, Then feed the blood to a nice dog I just met, It was a stray but now it won't stay away. 2 clicks now puppies gone, it was fate, Time to head home from never land cause it's getting late. I get home and my mom asks how was my day, I tell her nothing, really what was I supposed to say. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 28 Oct 2012 07:55 PM |
10000/10 Great. sorry i had to delete the Comment plz: up dere.(for posts) it was too long. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 28 Oct 2012 08:14 PM |
Nice.
Real Hero's don't need Capes.
|
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
jubril101
|
  |
| Joined: 30 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 367 |
|
| |
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
|
| 28 Oct 2012 09:38 PM |
| Lol thx, appreciate the support, any feedback like what you liked and what you didn't? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
ducky980
|
  |
| Joined: 01 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 9083 |
|
|
| 28 Oct 2012 10:53 PM |
1. Have you ever saw thee movie? Most of that never happened 2. It was just a badtopic to start with 3. You rhymed with papshute with shoot (2 syllables 1 syllable) (and h0m0phones)
Thats mai advice! |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
|
| 28 Oct 2012 10:57 PM |
| ^ The song is about me going to Neverland, other than that its not supposed to relate to the movie. Thx for the feedback though :) |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
ducky980
|
  |
| Joined: 01 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 9083 |
|
| |
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
| |
|
jetbot360
|
  |
| Joined: 08 Jan 2011 |
| Total Posts: 994 |
|
|
| 29 Oct 2012 03:56 AM |
| Ducky, every single Ro-Song on the forum I see, you're always there to criticize. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
rofl345
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Aug 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1363 |
|
| |
|
Deviated
|
  |
| Joined: 18 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4339 |
|
|
| 29 Oct 2012 04:50 PM |
| @jetbot: well, altar kind of asked for criticism. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 29 Oct 2012 06:10 PM |
Ducky isn't serious.
He types up the most ret.arded things intentionally. He's actually much smarter.
let's cut his feet off |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
|
| 29 Oct 2012 06:21 PM |
| Thanks for the support guys, and yea I respect honest feedback so what ever is on your mind :) |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 29 Oct 2012 09:14 PM |
Nice rapping, keep up the good work altar. ~Real men wear pink. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
| |
|
Kirbylee
|
  |
| Joined: 09 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 10103 |
|
|
| 30 Oct 2012 01:04 PM |
| Theres is a Kpop song already called Neverland :| |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
| |
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
|
| 31 Oct 2012 11:13 PM |
| ^ Theres plenty of songs with the same names you know, and mine is Welcome To Neverland not just Neverland :/ |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
| |
|
ducky980
|
  |
| Joined: 01 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 9083 |
|
| |
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
|
| 01 Nov 2012 11:34 PM |
| ^ Well that's not very nice |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Deviated
|
  |
| Joined: 18 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4339 |
|
| |
|
altar30
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1925 |
|
|
| 01 Nov 2012 11:43 PM |
| ^ I guess that's better XD |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|