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| 20 Oct 2012 09:54 PM |
Greetings, it is me... Everybody...
Seems that i could never offer the beautiful ending i had aspired all these years huh...
My family problems died down soon after it had all ended, surely you know what that is. Given that, things had returned to a calm and peaceful life for me, i never felt more contempt in running away from my own problems...
Such a thing is truly disgusting...
I had realized this after rewatching Death Note, as i had become rather bored of my now seemingly meaningless life. Initial thoughts of why are simple, the ending was never quite satisfying for me and i had all the time in the world to percieve it how i liked..
Only at the final scenes did i notice the resemblance between my life here, and the life portrayed in this story.. I almost teared up at the thought of how our actions so closely resembled eachother's as it all began to end...
Both parties found out about the lies portrayed by the "Main Character"... The main character denies the lies and runs as it draws to a close. Only when these two stories diverge do i begin to realize my feeling of incontempt. I only now understood the meaning of my story's ending from another, in my mind it all made sense. I associated others in that story to the people in mine...
Almir.. I portrayed him as the L of my story... Being that his suspicions were firsthand, and that he himself once sought to show people the truth no matter what it would mean. Such as "Light", i indirectly and marginally unwantedly died down his suspcions, and sought to create the perfect ending to my story that everybody wanted.
Tangin.. I portrayed him as the N of my story... Being that his suspicions came from pieces of evidence that Almir had left behind after he had stopped trying to show people the truth.
This is where it all breaks down of course... This perfect ending i had aspired to create was fruitless. After this such ending, also know as the "Final Battle" between the two kings, N was certainly incontempt on the realism of the matter. This led to his own investigation, which had, in the end, outwitted me, leaving me no room to lie any more. Such as the scene when Light's identity as Kira is revealed to Near and the others, yet he lies anyway, and proceeds to run, only to face his death with a sudden realization, such is in the very last scene during the credits.
I have also reached such a realization. upon viewing this from the beggining a second time i have seen something different. I found something that i could deeply relate to, and i only found out the meaning of my mistakes at the very end.
The morals of my story are endless, but to point out a few, i would choose the following...
Everything ends, Enlightenment is only found at the very end, And there is always more to understand.. There is always a deeper meaning. To everything.
Even the end is endless. Closure will never truly be found. Only such enlightenment as what i have found, and will try to share through this message.
As for those who found the truth ahead of time.. Revel in the nothingness you are feeling right now. This is only part of your story, such as it is but a chapter of mine that i will try to end as meaningfully as i can... Your stories will continue, and you will meet various endings. It's down to you to make them beautiful, ones that all can enjoy. I originally attempted such an end. Further continuation was but a sign of me running away from being proven of my lies, made in order to create such an end.
I was, am and always will be those i was suspected to be. The obvious alts with no items, all the way up to the less obvious ones such as LordSpace and varlel. I will hide nothing, not because it is meaningless, but because without doing so, there would be no meaning. I mocked, degraded, slandered and betrayed some of the people i had strived to create my perfect ending for. For this, i can never create a perfect ending.
This is mainly for those who knew, and were associated with me. Regardless, this is for all nonetheless. The ones who exist, and the ones who existed only in my mind. I must admit, at many times i had even myself believing myself.
I'm still unable to word my feelings properly here... You may view this as you see fit. You will be the judge on wether or not i was a "Good person who people will miss" to an "Idiot who only realizes his pathetic mistakes after rewatching a damn anime". I don't want forgiveness. I am stronger now with this. Whatever your response, it might also make you stronger as well.
None can express into words what this feeling truly is. It is sadness, but in a way it is also happiness, and so much more...
I was wrong, i was a liar, i was a coward... I can accept this now... And it matters.
Farewell, it is me... Nobody... |
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| 20 Oct 2012 09:55 PM |
i actually read that
give me a pat on the back, please.
~Scarlett, I don't give a damn~ |
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| 20 Oct 2012 09:57 PM |
I comfort thee. In both pity, and respect. |
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tnt91
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| Joined: 14 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 43390 |
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| 24 Oct 2012 03:15 PM |
| Dark,dont be like that.After all of the time I roleplayed with you guys,it was amazing.Thier didnt need to be a perfect ending.It was perfect already. |
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tnt91
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| Joined: 14 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 43390 |
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| 24 Oct 2012 03:15 PM |
| @bigboss: no one cares ! go to roleplaying category on roblox forums ! |
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vincent06
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| Joined: 02 Mar 2010 |
| Total Posts: 49 |
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| 24 Oct 2012 03:22 PM |
Just before you read this,I'm not a troll,but,
You can be someone just wanting attention,
Someone bored that thought this would kill some time,
Or some moron that thought making a forum post on ( Out of all games you write this? Little kids play here dude. ) roblox would do anything. |
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| 25 Oct 2012 03:44 PM |
@Vincent
Sorry for bumping this up, just call me provokative. (If that's the correct term, feel free to pull me up.)
This wouldn't really fit in with most other forums. It's not nessecarily roleplay, since it was my life for over five years, even outside of roblox. It melded to me, it was beyond roleplay, but it was also beyond roblox for me and most of those who were with me.
I initially don't want attention, it's just a message to friends. Unfortunately the message is like, four thousand characters long, so it couldn't go in my blurb.
At the least, this post has meaning, and at least fits the subforum fine, since it's mostly off the topic of roblox itself.
Anyhoo, please don't worry you're tailfins about me. If moderators deem what i do unnessecary, or find it to be too big a breach of their rules, they'll delete this thread and be done with it. I wouldn't mind. |
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Skellor
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| Joined: 01 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 66606 |
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Tangin4
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| Joined: 01 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 509 |
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| 02 Nov 2012 03:57 AM |
| Well, I'm happy you finally came out about it all being faked. If you happen to read this, add me on Steam please. |
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Tangin4
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| Joined: 01 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 509 |
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| 12 Mar 2016 06:47 PM |
| this is honestly inspiring |
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| 12 Mar 2016 06:47 PM |
| back when tnt91 used to be in OT and not in VGC most of the time |
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Tangin4
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| Joined: 01 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 509 |
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