flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 08:35 PM |
Alone. Those were the words that came to my head at the moment. I was alone in life, an outcast, a failure. Everyone hated me, and I had no friends. I wrote the single word on my paper. I then ripped it up screaming. "Josh! You intolerant butter brain! I called you for dinner!", my uncle screamed up the stairs. I sighed and headed down the stairs.
Of course, everyone acted like I wasn't there. "Well, May, I got a raise at work!", Uncle Bills voice boomed with delight. Aunt May grinned and clapped her hands, an annoying giggle coming out of her mouth. "Hey boy, you still writing, eh?" Uncle Bill asked me, a slight sneer in his voice.
"Yeah", I slowly replied. Uncle Bill looked at Aunt May and laughed, a wicked cruel mocking laugh. "It's time you stepped into the real world, boy", Uncle Bill sneered,"You are no good at it, and your...writing isn't even worth reading, let alone spending hours to write."
I was angry, having always been teased and bullied since my parents dissapeared. They didn't die, but they vanished mysteriously.
"Your parents were always slaving away at a STUPID computer. If they weren't, hey were out somewhere, probably partying and not doing something constructive." I clenched my fists. I hated when they made fun of my parents. It's true that I have never known them, but they were the only people that cared about me.
"No wonder your so messed up in life", Aunt May sneered. "Shut up!" I screamed at them. They got red faces, getting angrier by the second. They suddenly started cur.sing loudly, and bullying me around, screaming at me. Suddenly, the room got cold.
A loud hissing noise could be heard in front of me. I looked down, to see a snake. How did this snake get here. Suddenly, there was an explosion as I looked at Uncle Bill. He flew into a wall, half of his hair singed off. The snake charged snapping at Uncle Bill and Aunt May's heels. They deserved all of it. I ran away, leaving a path of fire behind me somehow. I burst outside and the house went in flames.
I walked the streets for day, none of these strange occurances happening. I was cold out of my mind. I slowly wander into an alley. I fall down into the brick wall, famished. The cold air chilled my bones, causing me to shiver and chatter my teeth so furiously. Every time I breathed, I could see my air.
I wandered away, towards a line of shrubs lining the sidewalk of a park. No one was there, for it was the dead of night. I wandered around the trash bins, getting whatever scraps i could. Suddenly, I heard a whoosh. A black shape ran fast me, super fast. The air got colder and colder, the shape running nearer.
"Josh", it muttered coldly. I shivered in fear, my nerves twisted in knots. Suddenly, a blue light illuminated the street and there was a man, holding a flashlight. He ran up to me, and gagged me. I was scared out of my mind. He threw me into a shrub, which led to a deep, protruding, twisting and turning tunnel in pitch black darkness.
Suddenly, I hit cold stone floor. The man dragged me across the floor into a room. "Don't be afraid, Josh, I can explain", he said in a croaked, old voice.
"What do you want", I asked my voice getting higher in fear. "You have powers in which no one possesses except you and a few other 11 year olds. You are a superhuman. Each of you have a different power. There can be many different ones, fire, water, earth, agility, swiftness. Many more. But you have to discover your gift. We are an agency, know as the Unknown. We don't reveal our name or anything to other undercover covert groups like us. There is a sadistic killer, named X, on the loose. We have been trying to gather all of you guys up, Ina matter of two days. These is an extremely quick brief summary, but we need to get you in training, and we will explain in full detail later", he said, very fast.
It was so much to take in at once. "Umm, what Is my power?" I ask curiously. He just stood there. "You are a wizard, Josh."
To be continued. It will be better trust me. I didn't have time, so there isn't much detail. It will be better when part 2 comes out, for it will become better and more detailed! |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 08:48 PM |
Give me suggestions as the story unfolds
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 09:03 PM |
| This will be a series of action. Warning: there will be tragedies throughout the series |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 09:06 PM |
| Comment on what you like! :D |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 09:40 PM |
| MUCH better than your last story. Please, continue. :) |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 09:48 PM |
| Thanx! I finally got a positive comment! Thx so much! |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 09:54 PM |
| Should I put part 2 in comments, or new thread? |
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Afrikaisi
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| Joined: 31 Oct 2010 |
| Total Posts: 7141 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 10:24 PM |
| Comment, dude this is amazing :o should be an rp :3 |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 10:34 PM |
| Thanx so much! I have worked my but off to improve writing skills:D |
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Afrikaisi
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| Joined: 31 Oct 2010 |
| Total Posts: 7141 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 10:37 PM |
| Could I post something I wrote? xP |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 10:41 PM |
Yeah! Sure! How to get in my book!
Rp na.me Power Personality Description
If I like your character you can be a character:D |
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flobbit
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 638 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 10:49 PM |
| The best characters will be in the story |
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Afrikaisi
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| Joined: 31 Oct 2010 |
| Total Posts: 7141 |
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| 20 Oct 2012 11:50 PM |
(sorry it took me a while to find the story)
Chaos. That's all I ever see. Ever since people started disappearing left and right, our world crumbles. Nine cities have been glassed already. Nothing remains, nothing more than scorched earth and ashes. Of coarse there are always a few who take our demise and thrive upon it. One day out cities are being glassed, the next the men in white are taking any survivors and doing who knows what to them. They took my brother. He was one of the few survivors that survived the glassing of Barapha, the city of ice. The men in white visit your hone to take you away before the glassing. All who resist are locked inside their own home and left to die.a couple of days ago, they came for me. A bit shocking for a 15 year old.as one of the smaller outlying cities, I would've expected them to leave us alone. I guess I was wrong. Almost everyone I knew decided to stay, I wish they hadn't. Lucky for us the glassing was weaker than most of the others, but it still took so many. The glassing claimed my best friend and my mother. So now, I'm alone, avoiding the men in white and searching among what little remains. All I truely know, is that my world is disappearing right in front of me, and I'll give my last breath to save it.
(kinda short) |
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| 21 Oct 2012 12:56 AM |
| It's good but please, don't constantly post on your own thread. If it's worth it, people will post on it. Only bump it when it's on the second page of the forum. |
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| 21 Oct 2012 10:02 AM |
| I love it! You really should continue it! |
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Thor8
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| Joined: 16 Dec 2008 |
| Total Posts: 225 |
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| 21 Oct 2012 10:47 AM |
| Going great so far. Be careful though. You've got a LOT of W.U. storywriters to go against xD. Luckly for you I'm a poet lol. |
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| 21 Oct 2012 11:50 AM |
It's decent, but the storyline seems a bit cliche. And the part where the guy is explaining to him that he's a wizard seems a bit rushed. Good work so far, it reminds me of some stuff I used to write.
-walk away, me boy, walk away, me boy, and by morning we'll be free- |
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| 21 Oct 2012 11:09 PM |
| This is a VERY good story. A little grammar and spelling mistakes here and there, but over all it's okay. |
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| 22 Oct 2012 06:37 AM |
What mod moved this to roleplaying...?
-and then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them on to a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every one of em!- |
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timpookie
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| Joined: 18 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 21924 |
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| 22 Oct 2012 06:45 AM |
| this should be in the Movies/TV/Books along with all the other stories... |
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| 22 Oct 2012 06:52 AM |
It was, a mod moved it.
-and then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them on to a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every one of em!- |
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