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Re: Story Competion entry thing.

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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
19 Oct 2012 07:36 PM
Yeah, this is my story for Caprexs story contest. Heck, why not Misteros if I can enter.

I awoke to a pounding headache. The world seemed to spin as I struggled to make sense of where I was. Unable to raise my head more then a few inches I can only stare at the plain grey roof, hearing the grunts of others who seemed to be in the same predicament.

As the pain in my head lessened I was able to take in more of my surroundings. A small windowless room, a single door sitting in the corner. The dull grey colouring of the walls seems to darken the room, the only light source is a single light bulb hanging from the rooftop. The grunts from across the room increased in volume and a quick glance to my left revealed a small, grey haired man, dressed in a strange white jumpsuit. More and more people came into view until there was a total of five others glancing around seemingly as confused as me. If that was even possible.

With a grunt of pain, I rise to my feet, my muscles fighting against my attempts to move. The others followed suit until four of us still standing, the grey haired man from earlier only stared, dazed at the wall. Alone in the center of the room sat a small, cheap television, completely out of place with the rest of the bare room. Wanting nothing more then to piece together this mystery I slowly and carefully tip toed towards this television as if the room was to rigged to explode at the slightest disturbance. My hope that the others would back me up was erased as they only watch me step towards the television, seemingly held back in fear. A quick press of the power button turned the TV to life, broadcasting a chilling message.

"Greetings, greetings." A shadowy figure said, his face covered in shadows.
"I shall skip the pleasantries, as I know each of your are anxious to know the story behind these current events in which you find yourself." The figure calmly sat back in chair, expressing no emotion as he spoke.
"You are brought here today for an.... experiment, yes an experiment." The man chuckled as he finished his sentence.
"Four of you are dazed and confused, struggling to find out what is going on, one of you is not. For that one has a very specific goal in mind. The death of the others he shares this room with. The rest of you may do as you please. Find the killer on your own, or take matter into your own hand. When the murderer among you is dead the rest may go free. Or if you fail and only the killer remains these shall be your final hours and you shall fail, never knowing the truth behind your kidnapping. Good luck."

(Part one of two. I shall finish this up soon. Just want initial reactions and feedback. Most of this is setup, the story picks up in the second half.)
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DINOBOYANDGAMEMASTER is not online. DINOBOYANDGAMEMASTER
Joined: 28 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 1995
19 Oct 2012 07:47 PM
I'm not going to judge this until part two since it wouldn't be fair if you got some suggestions before the story is over but others don't.
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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
19 Oct 2012 07:49 PM
Ah, good point. Initial reactions at least? Good? Bad?
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DINOBOYANDGAMEMASTER is not online. DINOBOYANDGAMEMASTER
Joined: 28 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 1995
19 Oct 2012 07:56 PM
Intial reactions were it was good so far.
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DINOBOYANDGAMEMASTER is not online. DINOBOYANDGAMEMASTER
Joined: 28 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 1995
19 Oct 2012 07:56 PM
Initial*
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NarutoFox12 is not online. NarutoFox12
Joined: 22 May 2008
Total Posts: 6696
19 Oct 2012 08:17 PM
What do you obtain if you have accomplished first place of this contest?

¿Qué obtienes si ganas?
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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
19 Oct 2012 08:19 PM
Oh, a pat on the back and the ability to say, hey! I don't suck at writing!
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NarutoFox12 is not online. NarutoFox12
Joined: 22 May 2008
Total Posts: 6696
19 Oct 2012 08:21 PM
I already know I don't suck.
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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
19 Oct 2012 08:22 PM
Well, you can't go wrong with a pat on the back!
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