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| 12 Oct 2012 09:01 PM |
(WARNING: THIS IS A BIG NUTSHELL)
Hello, this is the Government. Since you are of the age, allow us to tell you about our disguised sanitariums known as "schools"
In these "schools", we have laid out a simple plan to prepare you for common society. This plan is executed in ten steps:
1. Curriculum: Through the enforcement of curriculums, we can make sure that your mental intake is as slow and rigid as possible.
2. Exams: Through these carefully-timed and numerous exams, your self-esteem will remain low at all concievable times. Lower grades will lead to lower respect. You will have few opportunities in life. You will be insulted in many ways. Your only alternative is to succumb to society, allowing us to control your mind. The alternative is much easier. We promise you.
3. The population: We're not sure how this happened, so we can't take credit for this at the moment. These schools have everything. The girls will have the devices known as cellphones glued to their hands at every possible moment and worship popular culture as if it were a god! The boys will talk incessantly about a military-themed computer game known as "Call of Duty". Expect both genders to ramble about their romantic advances and swear indiscriminatably.
4. Morning rituals: This is the best part! Thanks to the carefully-thought-out schedule, sleeping in has been abolished! You will be forced to awaken at early hours, thus eliminating all chances of full restfulness. Do you feel unconscious as you walk in to the building, waiting for what we've prepared for you? That is how we want you to feel! That is the purpose of early mornings!
5. Humiliation: We can't take credit for this one, either. In fact, this is all thanks to you! Not only does it chip away at your self-esteem, it also encourages hatred, which will also be aimed at foreign nations in your later years. We guarantee it!
6. Pointless Information: By presenting you with this information, all independent thoughts within you will cease to exist. You may start to think for yourself, but your teacher, asking you to pay attention, will constantly interrupt you. This is our personal favorite!
7. Holidays: These are timed well enough to maintain your sanity, but short enough to remove any traces of independent thought.
8. Obedience: This is firmly set into these san- er, schools. Discipline, Self-discipline, Mind-discipline- hell, it's all here in one large package! We take pride in destroying all independent thought within you and our ability to control you. Our shrill voices haunt the corridors, waiting for you to make a mistake, and then correct you by yipping like an angry Scottish Terrier. You will never feel safe here. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.
9. Repetitive activities: It is by the continuous and omniscient repetitiveness of your schooling days that we can encourage habits and clockwork feelings within you
10. Long terms: With these, you won't remember a time when you weren't in school. Excellent!
We hope you enjoy your stay. Don’t try to escape, even if the gate is always open.
Remember that you are free do anything-- That we tell you to do.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! |
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Masterlet
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| Joined: 30 Jun 2011 |
| Total Posts: 648 |
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| 12 Oct 2012 09:02 PM |
| O RLY? I made my School in a nutshell post. :P |
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alnick
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| Joined: 27 Mar 2008 |
| Total Posts: 17347 |
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| 12 Oct 2012 09:03 PM |
makes sense
kinda defeats the purpose of a nutshell, though |
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| 12 Oct 2012 09:03 PM |
| Nutshell? More like a ostrich egg mayebe 10 nutshells ( not being rude just joking) |
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| 12 Oct 2012 09:04 PM |
actually, in the morning part, it's very easy to sleep. unless you have an annoying or a snitch or both as a neighbor.
~Tell it again, Grandpa!
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| 12 Oct 2012 09:04 PM |
| It's funny because most schools encourage independent opinions and discussion of that topic. |
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| 13 Oct 2012 09:44 AM |
| How come I always get that one guy who has the slightest hint of taking the satire I post seriosuly... |
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| 13 Oct 2012 11:44 AM |
*this thread
I love the OP right now. So much that I'm making typos. C: |
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| 16 Oct 2012 05:04 PM |
*walks out door* Well this isn't so- *bus-like helicopters come in* *police buses drive in* Sir, put your hands up and remain in school, if you do not re-enter withing 10 seconds, we WILL shoot! |
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