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Re: The Silhouette (Superhero Concept)

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Ultracrash is not online. Ultracrash
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 11022
01 Oct 2012 03:21 PM
I would appreciate if someone was to respond their opinions on this concept so if you can provide any feedback that would be great.

I'm a huge fan of dark stories particularly involving the supernatural or crime in the latter category I love noir stories. This story and the characters are influenced by various characters, films, and television shows a notable few (Darkman, Sin City, Watchmen, and Batman.)

The premise of the short story follows a teenage outcast who suffers from various problems including a minor form of gigantism, dyslexia, and has only just recovered from a treatable Hodgkin's lymphoma due to chemotherapy he has lost his hair, on top of this he is constantly ridiculed by his peers. After the death of his mother he contemplates suicide, but after the revelation of his mother's death he links the crime to a petty thug who he hunts down, and kills using his size as an advantage.

Soon the teenager dons a dark cloak, and prowls the night under the pseudonym of "The Silhouette" granted to him by criminals everywhere.

The Silhouette has no superpowers, but his size has advantages. He is also able to blend in with the shadows using his dark cloak.
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jason8630 is not online. jason8630
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 11998
01 Oct 2012 03:50 PM
I would need a little more detail to say anything, as far as other characters go.
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Ultracrash is not online. Ultracrash
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 11022
01 Oct 2012 04:01 PM
Well,

This thread was to show the concept for the main character I haven't flashed out the other characters enough to post on this thread I'm still developing the Silhouette and this is an early draft of him per se.

So I was hoping to get some reactions as to if this has potential or not I'll post more about the other characters when I have developed them to the extent that I am happy with,

On a side note seeing as how this story takes place in a world without superpowers are there any tips on adding new villains, and keeping them interesting? I don't want them to be annoyingly repetitive, but yes I will post more information on additional characters later sorry for the inconvenience.
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jason8630 is not online. jason8630
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 11998
01 Oct 2012 04:03 PM
I do say, this looks original and decent for now, but like the original Batman, it's a dark looking story, but without a good cast of characters it's not as good, like imagine Superman or Spider-Man without their reoccurring people.


but for villains without superpowers, assuming that doesn't take away gadgets, force fields, invisibility, other kinds of weapons that aren't used a ton. Also great characters can be created just by a mask or scarring IE. Black Mask, Two Face, Red Skull, Jack White (trololo)

Or something like a guy who has a weapon built into him, like Bushwhacker
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Ultracrash is not online. Ultracrash
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 11022
01 Oct 2012 06:23 PM
Thank you for the feedback, Jason.

Characters are essential to any story they're the avatars for the consumer, in order to interact with the world, and make it feel real there has to be a decent selection of original characters.

I do have one plan for a villain I'm not certain on the name yet, but the alias "Scab" might be used, basically he is going to be a fanatic of The Silhouette to such a degree he actually tries to imitate the anti-hero, but his antics cause him to be severely burned, he blames The Silhouette for this, and is able to deduce the protagonist's real identity.

So yeah.

I have quite a lot to work on, but I'm trying to create an immersive story.
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jason8630 is not online. jason8630
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 11998
01 Oct 2012 06:27 PM
I did a thread like this awhile ago here http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=77362942

i did change some things, like Marie is now Beth, and Jack White is an officer and not an attorney, it may inspire something
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Ultracrash is not online. Ultracrash
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 11022
01 Oct 2012 07:24 PM
I'll be sure to check it out, thanks. :)

I'm re-writing Scab's origins slightly he is still going to remain The Silhouette's fan, but his spiral into madness won't occur until later on, he will pose as The Silhouette, and be lit on fire he survives, but is disfigured from the incident going insane from the torment from those who judge him on his appearance, he begins to take members from the general public, and sets them on fire. He will also be renamed "Wildfire"

A few other characters I'm working on are, Patricia Dumas, a reporter for the local news who in her childhood was relentlessly bullied because she was overweight, she is now very thin, but a heartless person who cares only about the truth. She will be a semi love interest to the Silhouette's alter ego who shows her compassion.

I also have a few ideas, but I'm drawing them out if you will. I'll probably bump this thread back up when I have more to present.
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Ultracrash is not online. Ultracrash
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 11022
02 Oct 2012 08:05 AM
Damn,

I forgot to include, Hugh.

In short, Hugh is going to be a mysterious character who is seemingly omnipotent, but there is a rationale explanation to his existence.
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Cookie9713 is not online. Cookie9713
Joined: 04 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 3799
02 Oct 2012 10:12 AM
I think this could go a long way if you do it correctly.

Its an interesting idea, and for me the best super heros are made from tragic events. Such as V, undoubtedly my favorite super hero. Dark, yes, unsure if the hero is a villain or the "good guy" saving the day.

With Jason's post about the right cast--if you are trying to make this a short story, and not a play, please don't cast anyone. I think doing this for a short story is harmful if not stupid of the writer to do.

You're writing a story: you can make the characters whatever you want without preset eexpectations.

Not to say Jason's idea is dumb, he rewrites movies. And if that's what you're doing, be my guest. But I'm really eexcited to see your imagination at work.

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swiftattak7 is not online. swiftattak7
Joined: 09 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8029
02 Oct 2012 10:23 AM
@ultra
If you like noir movies you should watch brick.
It's a really well shot.
Swift~
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Ultracrash is not online. Ultracrash
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 11022
02 Oct 2012 01:53 PM
> Cookie9713

Yes, I prefer tragic (anti-) heroes as well, they're out to prevent evil for personal reasons, and because of this I find them far more interesting, characters like V are likable because they are relatively easy to relate too, if that makes sense.

I don't plan on using a cast I do have an idea of what the characters look like, and what they represent. I do plan on making the short story based on the origins, if I like how it turns out, I'll probably do bigger works based on the characters.

I'm trying to put my somewhat limited imagination to good use. :P

> swiftattak7

Are you referring to the film with Joesph Gordon-Levitt? He's one of my favourite actors, I've been looking for that movie everywhere. :o


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jason8630 is not online. jason8630
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 11998
02 Oct 2012 01:57 PM
@cookie i wasn't talking about a movie, i was talking about the reoccurring characters in the story, which is why i said the cast of characters, not actors.
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Cookie9713 is not online. Cookie9713
Joined: 04 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 3799
02 Oct 2012 03:04 PM
Ah, Ultra, I disagree. I think you would have a good imagination..you're pretty interesting. its going To be cool to see your personality go into this story

And Jason, please excuse me for mis taking what you ment.
I see what you mean now.
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swiftattak7 is not online. swiftattak7
Joined: 09 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8029
03 Oct 2012 12:51 AM
@Ultra Yeah he is a good actor. I downloaded the movie off the internet. I also had a hard time finding it.
Swift~
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jason8630 is not online. jason8630
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
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04 Oct 2012 07:55 PM
since i won't use this idea, you can if you'd like. A villain that's really a vigilante that kills people (assuming Silhouette doesn't) for minor crimes, or like Elite (Punisher character) a vigilante that kills by race
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swiftattak7 is not online. swiftattak7
Joined: 09 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8029
05 Oct 2012 12:06 AM
It isn't a bad idea but "vigilante" isn't quiet the right word. Hmm he should call himself "The Corrector" or "The Righter" anything that has to do with making something from good to bad.
Swift~
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swiftattak7 is not online. swiftattak7
Joined: 09 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8029
05 Oct 2012 12:11 AM
*from bad to good.(from his point of view)
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jason8630 is not online. jason8630
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 11998
05 Oct 2012 05:22 AM
a vigilante is a noun, not the name
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swiftattak7 is not online. swiftattak7
Joined: 09 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8029
05 Oct 2012 05:37 AM
I know but he should be called the corrector =3
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LeslieVernon is not online. LeslieVernon
Joined: 15 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 10800
05 Oct 2012 10:35 AM
I like the name 'The Silhouette'. It's catchy.



-The Saw? Well, The Saw Is Family-
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Ultracrash is not online. Ultracrash
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 11022
07 Oct 2012 05:08 PM
Well,

Because of work that has been utter chaos lately I have been unable to work on the characters or the short story itself, so I won't begin to develop the two until later this year perhaps before Christmas. So the short story will unfortunately be delayed until early 2013, but a longer story will immediately follow.

The premise of the series is vigilantism, the concept of killing one to save hundreds. If not thousands more. I'm trying to make The Silhouette an average Joe who with his new responsibilities, begins to crack under pressure causing various dilemmas leading to his own downfall.

There are going to be multiple subplots including The Silhouette's life as a teenager trying to survive High School, and the relationship between his two best friends, who are also unaware of his heroic deeds.

I also have the primary nemesis planned, but more on that later.
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Ultracrash is not online. Ultracrash
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 11022
07 Oct 2012 05:26 PM
I'm also contemplating giving The Silhouette the name John Presley. (tribute to my two of my favourite singers: Johnny Cash + Elvis Presley) does it sound too cheesy?
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jason8630 is not online. jason8630
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 11998
07 Oct 2012 05:30 PM
not sure, i consider heroes named John to be a cliche now, i see it so often.
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Ultracrash is not online. Ultracrash
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 11022
07 Oct 2012 05:39 PM
Yes, that was my main problem with it as well.

An earlier name was Aaron Cash, but apparently a character in Arkham Asylum has that exact name, I also was going to use Adrian Wayne, but it sounds too similar to Damian Wayne. I find coming up with names the hardest to do when relating to stories. :/

I'll probably keep The Silhouette's identity a secret in the short story, I'll reveal it in the longer one.
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jason8630 is not online. jason8630
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 11998
07 Oct 2012 05:40 PM
I actually think Aaron Cash is pretty uninteresting, but if you want a name Andre Wayne maybe? even though that sounds like Andre Reign but whatever.
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