|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:40 PM |
I'm going to paste a part of it there, you don't have to read it though, just in case its "Too long"
“So... it’s like a lucid dream, right?” Jerusha mumbled to herself. Somnius hesitated to answer, but then lifted his hand to the sky. With this, he said, “Yes, it is able to be deemed as a lucid dream…but, in this dream, you are able to change the outside world, also known as the REAL world; you are also able to die in this so called ‘dream’.” At that, Dakota got puzzled, and questioned Somnius. “…This doesn’t make any sense…how does that even work?” Kenneth agreed with her, and said “Right, I understand that it's a lucid dream, but how do our dreams affect the Earth?” Somnius stood up from his chair; all three of them quickly noticed how tall he actually was. So tall, that he towered over all of them. “Yes…all of your dreams have the power to connect to the outer world…this power is so strong, that what you do inside of a lucid dream could affect the outside world in any particular way…”
Feedback? Is it good or bland/boring at all? This is my first time making a book of any sort. I accept any kind of feedback anyone gives to me. (Except Bill from accounting, I hate that guy.) |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:41 PM |
| I too am gonna write a book. Mines a bit different. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:41 PM |
If I wrote books about the dreams I have
I'd probably be in prison |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:42 PM |
@gentle
Every male teenager would. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:42 PM |
GentleManne Yes, we all do have our weird sides of a dream...the human mind is unpredictable. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:44 PM |
| op it is obvious you don't know how to write a book??? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
AIRX
|
  |
| Joined: 03 May 2009 |
| Total Posts: 5389 |
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:44 PM |
I have a lot of lucid dreams it's fun, I like interacting with people in the dreams |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Tdc88
|
  |
| Joined: 16 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 9965 |
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:45 PM |
| i was thinking of writing a my little pony fan fiction desu |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:45 PM |
Zicronferius...? I might be way off on that... Uhm, I guess. Again, it is my first time making anything like this. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:47 PM |
Fanfiction? I'll have to look up a meaning for that... "Fanfiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker." ..................Ok? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:50 PM |
| It's pretty good, though it could use some... Some "polishing", I guess. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 02:56 PM |
| Well, I'm not sure exactly. I suppose I was trying to say that it has the potential to get better if something were added. If I suddenly become less brain dead and get an idea, I'll let you know. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 03:25 PM |
> i was thinking of writing a my little pony fan fiction desu
say desu enough and you'll turn japanese |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 03:33 PM |
| I got to bored. Nice story, though. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 03:35 PM |
| I'm here now, how are you guys? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
lion9031
|
  |
| Joined: 27 Jan 2011 |
| Total Posts: 14344 |
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 03:36 PM |
"I'm going to paste a part of it there" dear god another person who spams paragraphs in parts rather than just doing it all at once |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 03:37 PM |
| Maybe there could be details to break up the dialougue and paint a clearer scence. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Dantopia
|
  |
| Joined: 25 Jul 2012 |
| Total Posts: 15711 |
|
| |
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 03:44 PM |
Lion(NUMBERS THAT ARE PROBABLY A 9 AND A 0 AND A 3) Oh, no. I was pasting part of it as an example of a peice of half of a paragraph of the story. I'm not posting anymore. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 12 Sep 2012 03:45 PM |
| Sounds like something from the bone series. C: |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|