|
| 26 Aug 2012 11:04 PM |
Before you read, be aware this takes place in a more advanced elven era. Critics and opinions are fine, but flaming is not tolerated and will be reported.
Chapter 1: A cold glass
It was frosty, my breath traveling through my bangs like fog in the misty shoreline, my arms grasped around my chest and shoulders as I stood on the daylight flooded porch of the inn. I could see in the distance to the north, the children running off in the mud, their mothers angry as the little girls got their dresses dirty, the boys pretending to venture off into the heat of battle, the old rusted horse cart was their dragon to slay. Had it not been for an early spring, I might not have prepared to take foot to avlon villiage. "Tayla!" my name, as annoying it is to hear it be called, why that is, it's usually called when I'm needed for something out of my expertise. "thank goodness I found you here" he said, his body limped over the railing as if he was just struck by a wood panel. "They need you down at the tavern" he chocked out, as he gasped for air, his hair sweaty from the running he must have done to get here so quick. "Alright, let me grab my blade then" I said, as I turned to ignore his pleads for water. Now I wasn't one for charity, but the odd jobs I was pulled into, being known through town for being trained by my father, it was not a bad living. I took my robe, swung around me like the summer air that was yet to come, I grabbed my blade, long hilted, but painfully sharpened with frustration, she was a good blade to me.
I arrived at the tavern, almost smirking at the drunk cries for more brew. I kick the door in, as a means to show I was not here to play nice, the man took knowtice. "bah, so you send in the lass to subdue me?" said the drunken man, who stumbled onto a nearby table, knocking off a glass of brew. "ah, look what yu made me do, I laughed to hard, I wasted perfectly good brew, so I'll teach yer" the man said, as he grasped his shaving knife, which was clearly a stupid decision. He ran, like a boar who had lost a good meal to a disturbing presence of a mountain lion, he charged, huffing and slobering, the beast took aim at my arm, so I quickly moved left, throwing a stool at his feet, sending him face first out the door. Everyone was stunned as he lay slumped, passed out on the porch. "Is there anything I can do fer you, young'n?" said the old man at the bar. "yea, make it a cold glass" I said, as I caught glimpse of staring eyes.
Thanks for reading, I'll keep my pages updated on my profile. If there is any grammar mistakes or something does not add up, let me know. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 26 Aug 2012 11:21 PM |
| Hopefully chapter 2 is longer then this one. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 26 Aug 2012 11:42 PM |
Thanks :D There will be more where that came from. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Aug 2012 01:43 AM |
| It's immense and exciting, make chapter 2? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
vamking12
|
  |
| Joined: 08 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 17651 |
|
| |
|
|
| 27 Aug 2012 01:48 PM |
| why would u be staying at an inn near a shoreline in the middle of winter |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Aug 2012 01:52 PM |
| I enjoyed the story, I saw a couple grammar mistakes. My other note is that you should have detailed the battle a bit more, I found it a bit too quickly ended. Still, good story. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Aug 2012 01:53 PM |
| It's a figure of speech...it's used to show the reader how cold it is, and it's spring, not winter, and I never mentioned I was staying near a shoreline. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Aug 2012 02:04 PM |
@Creative
I did not want to over power the reader, I want them to first meet the talents of the character. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Aug 2012 03:14 PM |
| chapter 2: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=76778725 |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|