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Re: My 2nd Song " Unthinkable" Written By Me!

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ICESHACK3000 is not online. ICESHACK3000
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1627
18 Aug 2012 03:04 AM
Just started my career as an M.C.
Thinking everyone here is against me
They say I don't know what you've been through
And there right cuz I'm not you.
I wasn't raised in the hood
My life so far has been good
But your the ones who misunderstood
Cuz I could be a rapper
Even though I never faced poverty
I was raised properly
So Weather the whether is hot or cold
I'll be the one keeping my raps bold
Trying to stand out
Having to shout just to be heard
These lyrics have never been slurred 
They act like if your not from the hood the dreams impossible 
Well the subject is arguable
They want me to quit cuz I just don't fit
Well it's a dream ain't it

All I did was grab my lucky pencil
And start writing rhymes that sounded suspenseful 
And you act like this isn't what I deserve 
Observe as I reserve a spot at the top
While you hang on trying not to drop
Watch me prove my inasents 
Even though the evidence isn't on my fingerprints
And my songs are starting to be
What you would see on the tv
(Hehe)
 maybe I'll just be a comedian
Ditch the act for being an actor
And skip the track of being a rapper

Forget it, this is where I belong
 I'll just keep playing along to this stupid rap song
Cuz I'm the kind of person 
to just start lurking behind the stage curtain
Wondering if my plan will ever start working
And you can rest assure I'll be the one who's going on tour
So you can stay predictable 
My raps un-think-able 
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ICESHACK3000 is not online. ICESHACK3000
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1627
18 Aug 2012 03:05 AM
This is a quick song I wrote. I REALLY hope it gets me more noticed!
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CommanderRoblock is not online. CommanderRoblock
Joined: 04 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 16211
18 Aug 2012 03:09 AM
Not bad. The ending seemed kinda rushed though.

"Ifta ya simsim!" - Open Sesame
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ImGraphic is not online. ImGraphic
Joined: 07 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 29
18 Aug 2012 03:13 AM
Real tight yo! Keep up the good work
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ICESHACK3000 is not online. ICESHACK3000
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1627
18 Aug 2012 03:17 AM
Thanks man appreciate the feedback. I was actually nervous about this song. Through some eyes they might not be good but I'm glad you like it.
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
18 Aug 2012 03:19 AM
I had some things to say but I think it would be better if I didnt say anything at all, umm I guess nice song, #TeamRadical
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tanawsomedude is not online. tanawsomedude
Joined: 15 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1237
18 Aug 2012 03:26 AM
I loved it. My song is nothing compared to your song though, mine I think sucks in a way.
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ICESHACK3000 is not online. ICESHACK3000
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1627
18 Aug 2012 03:26 AM
Ok man. I'm glad you think it good. :)
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ICESHACK3000 is not online. ICESHACK3000
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1627
18 Aug 2012 03:29 AM
*its
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LilLebron23 is not online. LilLebron23
Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 1284
18 Aug 2012 03:53 AM
This is tight, bro :D
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ICESHACK3000 is not online. ICESHACK3000
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1627
18 Aug 2012 04:11 AM
Thanks bro I'm hoping for more than 1,300 views to beat my last track.
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gamert7 is not online. gamert7
Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 4986
18 Aug 2012 04:26 AM
Real talk, where did the chorus go? Also you say you do your best lyrical writing during late at night i can understand that as i am a insomniac but, it was not lyrical and was like reading a poem. Witch killed it for me. I do not know man if your not singing it is about lyrics. Your rap did not seem passionate to me at all. The 1-2 syllable rhymes brought my prescriptive of it down a lot. If they are something you would put on the tv, uh okay. I will use a real artist eminem for example back in 99 when my name is hit, it was a goofy funny song that was filled with horror but in a tone that was sarcastic yet pleasant. This sounds like sponge-bob is singing about krabby patties. Also your verses were not 32 or even 16 bars so it is not a song. so 0.5/10 being generous considering 1 i hate the rap 2 it was not even a song and 3 the topic sounded like it was being sang by some rich kid.
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gamert7 is not online. gamert7
Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 4986
18 Aug 2012 04:30 AM
Just to add no matter how badly i dislike this song it was 100 times better then this one http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=75878696#75923410 look at it and tell me it is a dope track or it is bad that is a insult to bad music.
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ICESHACK3000 is not online. ICESHACK3000
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1627
18 Aug 2012 04:38 AM
What am I not passionate enough for you? So now your the one that sounds like a poem. No beef man it's cool you don't like my rap. I respect your opinion. I don't do a chorus. A lot of people don't. And about it sounding like a rich kid made it.....Well I don't want to sound cocky but a rich kid did make it. I guess you don't get the song. It's about a rich kid not being aloud to rap because he wasn't raised in the hood. How did you not get that. I said it like 5 times. Don't compare the worlds best rapper to a 13 year old kid that only made 2 songs. Logic.
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gamert7 is not online. gamert7
Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 4986
18 Aug 2012 04:43 AM
ROFL you think a rich kid is not aloud to rap that is a lie. I was using what you said in your verse and made a example and i do not hold him as world's best rapper. rakim/redman imo are. Oh and you do know lil wayne one of the most successful rappers was not raised in the hood and had a fair amount of wealth as a kid don't you. About the passion crap i am saying rap is about a few things 1. lyrics 2. your voice 3. being real 4. passion if you do not have passion for the game or sound like it then why are you hear rapping?
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gamert7 is not online. gamert7
Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 4986
18 Aug 2012 04:44 AM
Also a song is made up of a chorus so if you do not have 1 where did the idea that this is a song float into your head.
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sacura1234 is not online. sacura1234
Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 16
18 Aug 2012 04:58 AM
That was realy cool <3 even in rl i start to sing :3

I love it. keep your awessome work and continue antil you have your dream :)
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ICESHACK3000 is not online. ICESHACK3000
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1627
18 Aug 2012 05:16 AM
Thanks sacura! Your a true fan. This was a song I made really quickly.
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sacura1234 is not online. sacura1234
Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 16
18 Aug 2012 05:20 AM
LOL. realy quickly huh. :P. Well if i was in your place that will take me like 2 hours to do this. XD
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ICESHACK3000 is not online. ICESHACK3000
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1627
18 Aug 2012 05:29 AM
For the amount of time I write songs 2 hours is short. Lol most songs are like 8-12 hours long. But not at once. Each night like 3 hours. Usually 1am to 4am
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clark105 is not online. clark105
Joined: 10 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 6
18 Aug 2012 07:25 AM
Dude this rap is killing me, it's really good , hang on tight ill go get ur manager \LOL/. But seriously theres something in those lyrics that makes me relate to what the song is trying to say....
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PhantomsGurl is not online. PhantomsGurl
Joined: 19 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 35
18 Aug 2012 10:51 AM
the rap song is pretty good,Make some more songs!!! After that,get you some Guitar players ad Drum players,Etc! Then,Make a vid On youtube or anywhere else,then Some famous Person will maybe watch ur Vid,Then make you Famous,Then Go get you everything ya need.keep the good work up! =)
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LRPERSON13 is not online. LRPERSON13
Joined: 21 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 386
18 Aug 2012 10:52 AM
Hmmm Good song...
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BraveWarriorQueen is not online. BraveWarriorQueen
Joined: 25 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 1
18 Aug 2012 10:59 AM
Mind= Blown
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AAMB1999 is not online. AAMB1999
Joined: 29 Jul 2010
Total Posts: 1
18 Aug 2012 12:04 PM
Great song bro, fudge that hater on Page 1.
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