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Re: The reason I haven't been RPing lately...

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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 08:49 PM
...is because I'm dealing with anxiety. I guess...

Ever since I watched that movie "The Happening" with my dad and brother, I've been VERY wary of... everything. 'That brick can ki.ll me'; 'What if I get up in my sleep and k..ill myself?'; 'What if I lose control and hurt myself instinctively?' These are the sort of thoughts that have been going through my mind the past two weeks. Trust me, it's... very, very hard to write this. o.e But I need to let it out, I believe. I've kept these thoughts all to myself, and I feel the need to share them with someone.

Here are the "What If" questions that I found on a site about my anxiety that I often find myself asking:

What if no one can cure me?
What if it’s not anxiety, but a different mental problem?
What if my old self is lost forever
What if there is something else wrong with me, brain tu.mo.ur etc?
What if I lose control?
What if I can't breathe?
What if I have to live like this for the rest of my life?
What if this feeling never goes away?
What if it’s just me that feels like this?
What if I'll never be able to enjoy the things I used to?
What if I have an attack and pass out?
What if I cannot be the person I used to be?

I'm sorry if this is considered spam. I've just been struggling, and I feel... hopeless. Lost. Fearful. Anxious. Confused... Stressed... So many emotions...

Apparently, I'm not supposed to try to force these thoughts out of my mind, which is what I've been attempting. I should just let them in, and... let them out. I shouldn't try to dismiss uninvited thoughts. I should just keep that "I don't care" attitude. If they stay, then so be it. They'll lose their affect on me eventually.

Thank you, everyone, for your understanding.

Oh my gosh, it felt SO good to get this out of my system. :)
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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
14 Aug 2012 08:51 PM
I understand, I use to be exactly like that. I still am in some ways. Have you considered meeting with someone that could help you with this?
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 08:52 PM
I'm crying now. Because I'm relieved. ;3 My whole body is trembling, but it feels... good.

Sorry if I'm being... awkward.
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MrGiraffe1 is not online. MrGiraffe1
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 23833
14 Aug 2012 08:53 PM
i guess i don't understand because the happening is an incredibly crappy movie

also, you're out of the anxiety territory

i think you moved onto paranoia

which you can learn to deal with sooner or later

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Siberith9 is not online. Siberith9
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 28153
14 Aug 2012 08:53 PM
It's nothing major, you have fear.

Fear is a common thing and will make you think different.

You watched a movie that I'm guessing is scary. The movie frightened you and made you over-think, these types of over-thinking got you to think of all these other things to make you fear.

I've been frightened before and had a fear that someone will break into my house and thought of every possible scenerio and concluded that my house was indeed infact a theft-prone house. I was just over-reacting.

Just talk to your parents, they can usally give you more advice, and get you to be a lot more comforted. But all in all, you should be fine in no time.

Hope this helped. :)
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 08:53 PM
Well, I've been too nervous to share this with anyone.

The thought of instinctive suici.de is still a scary thought.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 08:55 PM
@Giraffe,

Well, according to the website, what I'm dealing with is anxiety. But maybe I am paranoid. I don't know. But, right now, I honestly don't care what it is. ._.

@Siberith,

Yes, that is helpful. Thank you for the support.
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MrGiraffe1 is not online. MrGiraffe1
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 23833
14 Aug 2012 08:56 PM
don't worry, nothing can make you kill yourself except you

and it cannot be instinctive because suicide since it is not a 'natural' thing for humans to slaughter themselves

i know i'm going through it logically

but logic is the only thing that keeps me from having the same fears

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Siberith9 is not online. Siberith9
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 28153
14 Aug 2012 08:56 PM
There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Relax your mind, you have gotten yourself so worked up that your brain can't process correctly and might be making matters worse.

Tell yourself, and be confident when you do it, that you're going to relax and make yourself feel better.

Hopefully the placebo effect will come into effect.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 09:00 PM
I found myself laughing while I was reading that article about anxiety. Am I bipolar? o.O

And, thank you both, Siberith and Giraffe. I certainly will try to relax and replace these negative thoughts with something more positive. :3

If I were to tell someone about this, I would feel most comfortable telling my youth pastor first. But I would want it to be private. =/ Not in front of the whole youth group.

But, I usually go to my mom when I'm dealing with anything...
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 09:02 PM
Regret may be another reason I can't rid my mind of these thoughts. I do regret watching that movie, and I keep thinking, "Why didn't I agree to Eagle Eye while we were choosing a movie at Blockbuster? WHY?"
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NarutoFox12 is not online. NarutoFox12
Joined: 22 May 2008
Total Posts: 6696
14 Aug 2012 09:03 PM
I have What If questions about myself too that I am sort of scared about? Do you guys not mind if I tell them since this is what we are talking about? Maybe it might help you to see what I am scared of?
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Siberith9 is not online. Siberith9
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Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 28153
14 Aug 2012 09:03 PM
Sharing your emotions is the first thing in getting better. Roblox was good, but its better to let it out on somebody you know and trust.

Having it bottled up it will eventually over-flow and you don't want that to over-flow on somebody or something thats not the right person because then you never know what will happen. Youth pastor is good, and just ask him if you can talk to him in private, he would be more than honored to do so.
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Siberith9 is not online. Siberith9
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Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 28153
14 Aug 2012 09:03 PM
@NarutoFox

Sure, I'm all ears.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 09:05 PM
Feel free to, Naruto.

And, on a side note, I can imagine myself pouring tears while trying to explain my anxiety to my youth pastor, because I'm not usually that open. So it would probably be awkward for me. .-.
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NarutoFox12 is not online. NarutoFox12
Joined: 22 May 2008
Total Posts: 6696
14 Aug 2012 09:07 PM
I'm kind of nervous but okay.

What if I never get a "GF" (Not roblox but irl)
What if I never get tall?
What if I don't make the basketball team?
What if my dad never comes back?
What if my mother dies one day?
What if my parents lose their jobs?
What if I'm not good at basketball? (I've been practicing all summer)
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Siberith9 is not online. Siberith9
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Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 28153
14 Aug 2012 09:07 PM
Sometimes crying makes everything better. I heard when crying it releases something in your body to make you more relaxed. He would understand, its natural to cry.
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Siberith9 is not online. Siberith9
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 28153
14 Aug 2012 09:10 PM
@NarutoFox

1. You will find the right one, might be a lil tricky on Mrs. Right but you will.
2. You seemed very concerned on your basketball. The old saying goes, "Practice makes Perfect." If you've practiced and dedicated yourself you will make it, you also have to believe and be confident that you will make it.
3. Parents is something I cannot help with, but all you can say is hope for the best, pray, and God will do the rest.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 09:19 PM
@Naruto,

"What if my mother dies one day?"

Well, don't think of death as a burden. My grandma told me that she wants a celebration to take place on her funeral. I asked her why, and she said something like, "Because I'll be going to Heaven."

So, if your mother is a dedicated Christian, then death is just the end of her journey. Think of it this way: Earth is not our home. We're simply passing through. Our true home is Heaven, so death is just our withdrawal from Earth and our entrance into Heaven. Besides, in Heaven, your mother will be so much happier. No pain, no sorrow, no burdens, no death, no anger, no fear... Pure joy.

As for your father, you can pray that you will get to reunite with him.

Sorry if this is not any help.
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keyra14 is not online. keyra14
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Total Posts: 5640
14 Aug 2012 09:19 PM
Support.
I actually used to fear that my house would be broken into, I mean, I've gotten over that. It was a while ago... I fear being in cars, because of accidents. I was almost in an accident going to Hoover Dam with my Girl Scout troop. [Half of it, actually] That's one reason I'm like that. I don't know if being nervous around horses counts, but I am nervous around horses/ponies/etc.



@Naruto:



Well, is your dad gone? Is anything wrong with your mother? Those are also things to ask when thinking about that. I don't think somebody would die out of nowhere. I think there has to be a real reason for them to die. Sickness/heart attack/etc.
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NarutoFox12 is not online. NarutoFox12
Joined: 22 May 2008
Total Posts: 6696
14 Aug 2012 09:20 PM
How do I make myself taller because only 6 feet tall people only play basketball and im not 6 feet.
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MrGiraffe1 is not online. MrGiraffe1
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 23833
14 Aug 2012 09:22 PM
naruto

i'm pretty keen on the idea that you're trolling right now

doesn't sound like you

:U
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
14 Aug 2012 09:22 PM
Well, you're paranoid and frightened of everything around you and how it could kill you. Instinctive suicide is practically impossible, all life is built to live and REJECTS injuries. You may want to jump off a building, but your body tells you "you're freaking insane, Dimwit."
So...just calm down. Do everything you can to calm down.
Dear God, my advice is horrid.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 09:22 PM
"I don't know if being nervous around horses counts"

That's common for anyone who's not used to them. Heck. When I went with a friend to spend the night in a tent by some horse stables, I refused to ride an actual horse. I just stuck with the pony. But, even then, I was still wary. :P I saw someone get thrown off backwards, but that's simply because the horse was new and nervous, and she wasn't using a saddle. .-.
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TaiWolf1234 is not online. TaiWolf1234
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 23207
14 Aug 2012 09:24 PM
Lol, no Ab, your advice is fine. x3

I'll just remind myself that I'm a dimwit if I ever stare at a knife for more than three seconds. :D
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