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Re: The last battle (A TRA vs UAF Story)

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lewisclabby is not online. lewisclabby
Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 3354
12 Aug 2012 05:06 PM
Time:0630am. Date:3/6/2302. Place: Earth,Europe,Fort Kopervich.








I remember beining in the trench,flooded with mud. I saw fort kopervich around 2 miles away. We were waiting for the UAF patrol,it was coming soon. I said to one elite member,called James,
"They will be coming soon,guns out". The elite soldiers pulled out a M4A1,covered in mud aswell. The patrol was in sight. I whispered to all the soldiers "Hold..hold..FIRE!!" The roar of gunfire was every were, UAF were looking for us,they couldn't find us. We killed the patrol. We took there uniform,and put it on. We could see the planes,behind the hills dropping of TRA soldiers,thousands of them came. Fort kopervich was beining bombed,and badly. It was burnt to the ground. The ground was red with blood. Suddenly,my squad came under fire. Only James survived, We called for a helicopter,as we found the sniper and killed him. The helicopter made mud blow into my face, and me and James jumped on. James said to me "We were lucky to escape." I replied by saying "It wasnt luck,it was skill." The helicopter was now about 5000 feet above ground. You could still see the bodies,and the soldiers shooting at fort kopervich. Bombs were still beining launched. We were heading to Fort elite,at around 200 mph. We would be their in around 20 minutes. In the helicopter,I was thinking "Maybe it was luck what saved us,I was the one who made my squad die...I should be more carefull..." I then heard the driver speaking. He was a TRA Corpral,a good driver. He said "WATCH OUT! TANGOS BEHIND US!" I jumped on to the turret,James was gunning from the back. I was shooting at the helicopters,but it seemed that they had a force field. I was looking in the sky,a missle had been launched,heading towards a UAF camp. I heard it explode,it was a loud explosion,and a big one. A cloud came seconds after the explosion. I learnt that it was a nuke. It was catching up to us,we were goining to be hit!. I shouted "DRIVER! HURRY!" But there was no response. I jumped into the cockpit,and I took control. I shouted "JAMES! CLOSE THE DOORS!" James closed the doors,but the nuke had caught up to us. We were hit,spinning out of control. We crashed. My radio went off, the camp had been destroyed. I was dieing. I might not live. I was thinking "I should have stayed at Kopervich" The next thing I remember was waking up at a hospital. I was back at elite,I could tell. General Harry came in. He said "Your alive John!?" I said "Yes" I then heard gun fire. General Harry ran outside with his guards. He told the soliders to man the turrets,get on the tanks and jeeps and attack. I saw nearly 1 millon soliders heading out thr giant gate. I saw them slaughter UAF. I then got up,put my uniform and armour on then grabbed my pistol. I went out,and I helped TRA to finish off UAF. I was ready for my next misson,to see what happened.
(END OF PART 1)
Please reply with how to improve,and good comments. Please no tl;dr
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stingycullyn is not online. stingycullyn
Joined: 18 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 1698
12 Aug 2012 05:11 PM
Dude i was thinking of making a story to lol i think we cna read each others minds o.o
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Kyxer is not online. Kyxer
Joined: 10 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 352
12 Aug 2012 05:12 PM
who the hell cares
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lewisclabby is not online. lewisclabby
Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 3354
12 Aug 2012 05:13 PM
Well,I always make storys if I have the chance. I make storys about wars. This will have 4 parts,one made each day. The link to the last one will be in the next part.
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thorhayes is not online. thorhayes
Joined: 14 Jul 2010
Total Posts: 3441
12 Aug 2012 05:17 PM
Hmm, it's not bad. I recommend double checking your grammar with the spaces. But, also paragraphs would be nice.
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lewisclabby is not online. lewisclabby
Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 3354
12 Aug 2012 05:19 PM
Couldnt be bothered to spell check/grammar,and I when I type,I dont look at the keyboard,type fast,and very rarely make mistakes. This is supposed to be like a journal of a captains journey,so I wont really add paragraphs.
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ethanta67 is not online. ethanta67
Joined: 09 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 1417
12 Aug 2012 05:22 PM
Good,

Better grammar pls. You put a space in front of the comma.
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lewisclabby is not online. lewisclabby
Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 3354
12 Aug 2012 05:24 PM
Read the post above. I said I couldnt be bothered.
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cheeseycat13 is not online. cheeseycat13
Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1945
12 Aug 2012 05:32 PM
the funny thing is this is entire inaccurate

http://www.roblox.com/My/Sets.aspx?id=765669
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lewisclabby is not online. lewisclabby
Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 3354
12 Aug 2012 05:48 PM
What do you mean?? And if you mean about UAF is winning the war, this is not about the real war, it is a TOTALLY made up story, make your own up if you need to..
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BoostPowah is not online. BoostPowah
Joined: 11 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 22881
12 Aug 2012 05:50 PM
And then TGI sent in their fleets to decimate TRA.

And TRA called auto-win since the war wasn't official according to them.

The end.

[Fear the powah.]
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lewisclabby is not online. lewisclabby
Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 3354
12 Aug 2012 05:52 PM
After you said that, I will make it that TGI is destroyed by UAF, and begs for help from TRA, but TRA totally destroys them.


Thank you very much.
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BoostPowah is not online. BoostPowah
Joined: 11 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 22881
12 Aug 2012 05:54 PM
Like you said, it's a story.

It doesn't affect anything that's happening right now.

So yeah, comeback ineffective.

Thank *you* very much.

[Fear the powah.]
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lewisclabby is not online. lewisclabby
Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 3354
12 Aug 2012 05:55 PM
I meant thank you for giving me a idea, so thank *you* very much.
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BoostPowah is not online. BoostPowah
Joined: 11 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 22881
12 Aug 2012 05:56 PM
Sure, anytime.

Wasn't so hard.

[Fear the powah.]
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