BioBot95
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| Joined: 07 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 7040 |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:10 PM |
I encourage you to actually read these. Some are actually pretty funny.
1) Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
2) When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he pushes the world down.
3) Chuck Norris IS smarter then a 5th grader.
4) The cake is a lie, and yet Chuck Norris has frosting on his face.
5) Chuck Norris can hack into the FBI's mainframe with a calculator... with no batteries in it.
6) Chuck Norris plays Call of Halo: Modern Battlefield 5 on the Wiistation 360.
7) Chuck Norris sat in Sheldon's seat. And stayed there.
8) Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin.
9) Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
10) Chuck Norris can play Blu-Ray movies in his VCR.
11) Chuck Norris knows what Willis was talkin' 'bout.
12) Chuck Norris took an arrow to the knee and is STILL a better adventurer then you!
13) Gandalf allows Chuck Norris to pass.
14) IF Chuck Norris dies, his tombstone won't say "R.I.P." It will say "B.R.B."
15) Chuck Norris can speak braille.
16) Chuck Norris can describe the color blue to a blind person.
17) Chuck Norris ths read right.
18) Chuck Norris beat KidIcarus.
19) Chuck Norris can make a Yahoo! account on gmail.com
20) Chuck Norris can pick apples off an orange tree and make the best DANG lemonade you've ever had!
(They just keep coming!)
21) Chuck Norris's dog once ran over a car.
22) Santa Claus DID exist... until he forgot Chuck's present.
23) Chuck Norris's car doesn't run on gas. It runs on the fear of stopping.
24) Chuck Norris sees Santa Claus while he's sleeping.
25) Chuck Norris can say "bubbles" in an angry way.
26) Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
27) When the president pushes "The Big Red Button," Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
28) When Chuck Norris goes swimming, Jaws hears the scary music.
29) Chuck Norris can make snow angels in concrete.
30) Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
31) Chuck Norris puts the "I" in team.
32) Chuck Norris once blew up an entire city by dropping the F bomb.
33) I wish Chuck Norris would start a brand of car... Oh wait, he did. They're called Transformers.
34) Chuck Norris can lick his elbows with his hands tied behind his back.
35) Chuck Norris can eat a rubik's cube and in 3 to 4 hours give you an Allspark.
36) Life Insurance Premiums are based on how far you live from Chuck Norris.
37) Chuck Norris understands women.
38) Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
39) Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with 1 bird.
40) Chuck Norris beat Angry Birds in 3 minutes... with a payphone.
41) Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with Medusa. We now know her as the Statue of Liberty.
42) Chuck Norris dies 3 years ago. Death still doesn't have the courage to tell him.
43) Chuck Norris once beat a wall at Tennis.
44) Chuck Norris decides if your efforts were valient enough for a Klondike Bar.
45) Chuck Norris doesn't need to do anything for a Klondike Bar.
46) Chuck Norris is currently the only person to have ever completed Monopoly.
47) If it looks like Chuck Norris, smells like Chuck Norris, sounds like Chuck Noriss, and feels like Chuck Norris, you're going to die.
48) Mario is Chuck Norris's plumber.
49) Life says Chuck Norris isn't fair.
50) Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
51) The Rock is cooking Chuck Norris's dinner.
52) Chuck Norris dreams in HD.
53) Chuck Norris watched an hour-long movie in 20 minutes.
54) Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
55) Chuck Norris acted in the Star Wars movies as "The Force."
56) Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice... using the alphabet.
57) Chuck Norris can make a Happy Meal cry.
58) Chuck Norris can pause an online game.
59) Chuck Norris can gargle peanut-butter.
60) Chuck Norris bit the apple in the MAC logo.
61) Chuck Norris can getan A from Mr. Crocker.
62) Chuck Norris knows the krabby patty formula.
63) Chuck Norris tought himself Japanese by watching a German film with Spanish subtitles.
64) When women use Chuck Norris's bathroom, they put the seat up when they're done.
65) How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? Answer: All of them.
66) Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
67) Chuck Norris can chainsaw a creeper with a tomohawk while playing as a grunt in Pokemon.
68) Chuck Norris can disrespect the pouch.
69) Chuck Norris can fast-forward the radio.
70) Some people can burp the alphabet. Chuck Norris can fart the dictionary.
71) Chuck Norris trained his cat to bark.
72) Chuck Norris once told me to get lost. They still havn't found me.
73) Chuck Norris knows which came first: Chicken or Egg.
74) Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra. After 4 days of suffering, the cobra finally died.
75) Chuck Norris ate a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning... without any mlk.
76) Thor stole his hammer from Chuck Norris's tool shed.
Well, that's all I got. Thanx 4 reading. :)
⑨ There are no buses in Gensokyo ⑨ |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:11 PM |
...
--->youknoe986 unleashes the bacon<--- (youknoe986 in Banland for one day) |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:12 PM |
| When CHuck Noris plays WoW, damage per second turns into deaths per second. |
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podraptor
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| Joined: 13 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 19826 |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:12 PM |
"Chuck Norris IS smarter then a 5th grader."
Apparently your not. |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:12 PM |
| chuck norris needs a stunt double for crying |
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Hyphalax
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| Joined: 15 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 22375 |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:12 PM |
| the only one i liked was the BRB instead of RIP one |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:13 PM |
Best fact yet: Chuck Norris is a terrible actor.
Throw the cheese |
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abobao
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| Joined: 26 Jun 2010 |
| Total Posts: 8755 |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:13 PM |
| chuck norris jokes are so 2 years ago. |
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Guy555606
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| Joined: 24 Aug 2009 |
| Total Posts: 6035 |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:16 PM |
| Chuck Norris beat QWOP. Running backwards. |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:18 PM |
77) Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on because the dark is afraid of him.
78) When someone was fought Chuck Norris, they were never seen again.
#~Finn, the guy who froze the candy zombies like the Ice King!~ |
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EXcellent
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| Joined: 22 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 93272 |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:34 PM |
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
"Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal." |
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| 11 Aug 2012 08:44 PM |
Lol'd at 17, 32, 70, and 71.
ESPECIALLY 70.
~Steel Jackal of OT |
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| 11 Aug 2012 09:16 PM |
| Santa DID exist, up until he forgot Chuck's presents. |
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BioBot95
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| Joined: 07 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 7040 |
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| 19 Aug 2012 04:25 PM |
77) Slenderman checks behind him to see if CHuck Norris is following.
78) Chuck Norris can shoplift on eBay.
79) Chuck Norris can win an argument with a woman and make HER apologize for it.
80) Mr. Krabs gives Chuck Norris free refills.
81) Chuck Norris can spot the mistake in this sentence.
82) Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
83) Chuck Norris can cut a hot knife with butter.
84) When fire was growing up, it was told not to play with Chuck Norris.
85) Chuck Norris eats his soup with a fork.
86) On average, there are 563 items in every room with which Chuck Norris can kill you, including the room itself.
87) Chuck Norris can win Connect 4 in 3 moves.
88) Chuck Norris won Amercian Idol with sign language.
89) Chuck Norris is in his late 70s. He will soon prestige and start again.
90) Chuck Norris can buy the garage at a garage sale.
91) Chuck Norris's bike has air conditioning.
92) Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
93) Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. He makes a new way.
94) Chuck Norris doesn't pay attention, attention pays Chuck Norris.
95) Chuck Norris breaks the law with his bare hands.
96) When Chuck Norris plays TF2, hl2.exe does NOT stop working.
⑨ There are no buses in Gensokyo ⑨ |
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BioBot95
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| Joined: 07 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 7040 |
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| 20 Aug 2012 10:49 PM |
Bump of Chuck Norrisness.
⑨ There are no buses in Gensokyo ⑨ |
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| 20 Aug 2012 10:52 PM |
Chuck Norris sat in Sheldon's seat. And stayed there --- YYYYYAAAEEES
Dr. Kuku, Scientist of OT |
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