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Re: Here is my new song called "Hi, It's Jimmy" plz comment

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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 03:20 PM
He was the leader of the football team,
Living life so relaxed cause he was naturally lean,
Then the team made it to the final game,
But there leader felt like he was going lame.
He needed an up but didn't have time on his clock,
Till he met an odd fellow who was selling a rock.
He pounded and smashed and sniffed it all,
He got a burst and felt real tall,
They won the game and he celebrated with more,
Partied till dawn and woke up on the floor.
He got up and something was wrong,
He felt real weak and his face was real long.
It didn't take long for him to know he was strung,
He wishes he could go back but what's done is done.
Lets call him Jimmy and he went into a depression or something like that,
Checked into rehab but they didn't do cr@p.
Jimmy couldn't take it, he needed his fix,
Without being on it he felt real sick.
Sunsets were no longer special,
Jimmy's parents felt like he was mental,
He robbed to pay for the fixes, nothing was sentimental.
Jimmy's grades started to slip,
And he started to skip,
On class entirely cause it was a waste of his time.
Jimmy felt embarrassed cause his friends confronted the issue,
He told them to leave him alone, Jimmy didn't know what to do.
He couldn't take it, no, it was too much stress,
Jimmy grabbed a handgun and started to press
But you know the rest.
He over dosed that night cause he couldn't take the shot,
Instead he shot the dealer that sold him the rock.
So now there's 2 dead and one 10 word letter that's clear to see,
It reads "See you in hell, by the way this from Jimmy"
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devildog199 is not online. devildog199
Joined: 05 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 7887
09 Aug 2012 03:24 PM
The lyrics themselves are good.
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DavidBowiesEyes is not online. DavidBowiesEyes
Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 13270
09 Aug 2012 03:24 PM
not bad
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icecrafter213 is not online. icecrafter213
Joined: 07 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 4746
09 Aug 2012 03:24 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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shonyshon is not online. shonyshon
Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 8192
09 Aug 2012 03:29 PM
Nice rhymes.
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 03:32 PM
@ICE The song depicts Jimmy's use of addiction so i thought it would be cool if i added some sort of repition so that people get the idea its Jimmy did this or Jimmy did that.
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afraidgiantfudrucker is not online. afraidgiantfudrucker
Joined: 20 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 281
09 Aug 2012 03:32 PM
Reported
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 03:33 PM
@Afraid for what?
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afraidgiantfudrucker is not online. afraidgiantfudrucker
Joined: 20 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 281
09 Aug 2012 03:34 PM
speaking of illegL THINGS
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icecrafter213 is not online. icecrafter213
Joined: 07 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 4746
09 Aug 2012 03:34 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 03:35 PM
@ICE fair enough
@Afraid Maybe i was talking about a magical rock that gives people super powers :P
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afraidgiantfudrucker is not online. afraidgiantfudrucker
Joined: 20 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 281
09 Aug 2012 03:41 PM
speaking of illegL THINGS
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 03:42 PM
^Magic Rocks that make you fly really high..............in the air
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afraidgiantfudrucker is not online. afraidgiantfudrucker
Joined: 20 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 281
09 Aug 2012 03:42 PM
Well you weren't
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 03:43 PM
@Afraid How would you know?
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ImGraphic is not online. ImGraphic
Joined: 07 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 29
09 Aug 2012 03:58 PM
Nice story. Keep up it Rad
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 04:10 PM
^Thx :)
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ducky870 is not online. ducky870
Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 955
09 Aug 2012 04:29 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 04:31 PM
@Ducky Tell whats irritating about it
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ducky870 is not online. ducky870
Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 955
09 Aug 2012 04:33 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 04:35 PM
^ XD thx
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AnimatedDUDE2 is not online. AnimatedDUDE2
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 367
09 Aug 2012 04:47 PM
I couldn't write this!
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 04:50 PM
^ You never know,
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
09 Aug 2012 06:56 PM
Bump :P
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EmancipationSuite is not online. EmancipationSuite
Joined: 27 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 30027
09 Aug 2012 06:58 PM
9/10 absolutely horrible

~f٥гﻉ√ﻉг™~
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