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Re: SCP Home Catalog, Issue 1

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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 11:51 AM
SCP-111 "Dragon-Snails" - Genetically modified snails made to be just like dragons, they even breathe fire! Perfect for birthdays, or any special occasion. Comes in 6 varieties, and can be cross-bred to get your own unique Dragon-Snails! Starter kits contain 12 eggs and a guide. Note: Purchasing this product means that you agree that any damage done to your house is not our responsibility. ($20.00)

SCP-131 "Eye Pods" - Biomechanical sentries that will keep an eye on your children, and stop them from getting into trouble. Come in two standard colors: Yellow and orange ($30.00 per item)

SCP-242 "Self Cleaning Pool" - The pool that cleans itself! It can change water from the dirtiest water ever to the literal most pure water in the world! ($730.00)

SCP-294 "The Coffee Machine" - A seemingly normal coffee machine, but it can produce any liquid that exists, it even knows your favorite drink! Warning: Use at your own discretion, we are not responsible for any injuries or damage that may occur. ($240.00)

SCP-458 "The Neverending Pizza Box" - No time to make dinner? Just open up this box, and it'll have your favorite pizza ready for you! ($40.00)

SCP-598 "The Sentient Color" - Ever feel lonely, and nobody's around? Just talk to the Sentient Color! The Sentient Color is a great friend, and doesn't need to be maintained! It'll hold any conversation telepathically, and you'll never feel lonely again! ($40.00 per can)

Want to know when the next issue is out, before it's out? Subscribe to our catalog, and you'll be notified minutes before the catalog is even out!
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TomboyKittypet is not online. TomboyKittypet
Joined: 10 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 6601
06 Aug 2012 11:53 AM
I'll buy an SCP-111 and an SCP-294
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 11:54 AM
They should arrive shortly, thank you for shopping with us!
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:23 PM
A new SCP is now being sold to the public, SCP-434! Place eight chairs around the table, and sit in one, and you'll be talking to seven more versions of yourself! This is a good alternative to SCP-598, if you either can't afford it or it just isn't to your liking. Warning: Not recommended for use if you have had any highly traumatic experiences. ($40.00)
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omgh4xorz is not online. omgh4xorz
Joined: 25 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2213
06 Aug 2012 12:25 PM
buy scp-682.

Just rub his tummy and hit him with a newspaper and you will be all right!
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:27 PM
I'm sorry sir, SCP-682 is not for sale, due to the fact that he is indeed sentient, and very dangerous, and would not like being sold.
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BrandonS677 is not online. BrandonS677
Joined: 03 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 20441
06 Aug 2012 12:29 PM
*Shuts down Fruit*

*removes database and harddrive*


*throws Fruit into water*

*shuts on Fruit*
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:30 PM
You can't very well do that to someone over the phone, or in this case, the internet, can you? What SCP would you like to order, sir?
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TECGhost is not online. TECGhost
Joined: 10 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 39
06 Aug 2012 12:32 PM
Can I have an SCP-173 please..... hehehe...
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:36 PM
SCP-173 is also not for sale. Please, only order from the products listed on the catalog. Is there anything else, sir?
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TECGhost is not online. TECGhost
Joined: 10 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 39
06 Aug 2012 12:44 PM
SCP-111 would be nice too :D
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:44 PM
Are there any other people who wish to purchase an SCP product?
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Hyphalax is not online. Hyphalax
Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 22375
06 Aug 2012 12:45 PM
the sentient color reminds me of the almighty sentient cloud
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masterx is not online. masterx
Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Total Posts: 10367
06 Aug 2012 12:45 PM
i have informed the foundation
operatives should be stopping this illegal operation soon
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:48 PM
Masterx, I am an operative of the SCP Foundation. We are doing this simply because we are getting low on funds. Do not worry, the original copies are not being sold, copies produced by SCP-038 are, though.
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masterx is not online. masterx
Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Total Posts: 10367
06 Aug 2012 12:49 PM
you're selling SCPs
to the public
and the foundation can not, will not, and will never become low on funds
you've obviously been corrupted by a memetic SCP and should be terminated immediately
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Hyphalax is not online. Hyphalax
Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 22375
06 Aug 2012 12:50 PM
someone better send the terminator back in time to kill him before he starts this operation
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:50 PM
Good point.

...

(Killjoy.)
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TECGhost is not online. TECGhost
Joined: 10 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 39
06 Aug 2012 12:51 PM
Are you familiar with SCP-173?
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MrRetextureGuy is not online. MrRetextureGuy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 05 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 31172
06 Aug 2012 12:52 PM
I want SCP-458. I'm so freaking hungry now at the thought of it.
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:52 PM
Yes, I am indeed familiar with SCP-173.
There is a reason copies are not being sold.
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:52 PM
A copy of SCP-458 is on the way to your home, and should be arriving shortly, sir.
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Shadowfan682 is not online. Shadowfan682
Joined: 11 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 41961
06 Aug 2012 12:52 PM
I would like SCP-294.
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RedSkySyndrome is not online. RedSkySyndrome
Joined: 29 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 186
06 Aug 2012 12:53 PM
hey a pool for 730$
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
06 Aug 2012 12:53 PM
A copy of SCP-294 is on it's way, be sure not to make any, well, considerably deadly liquids, or it will be recalled from your home, and you will be terminated.
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