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Re: Writing Contest!

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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 04:45 PM
Well, people have been complaining about the state of the forums recently so I took the liberty of making this thread. Post a story here, competition lasts a week and people can post stories on here. At the end of the week, the Roblox population can see the results and we'll have a poll, I'll participate to, for good measure.
But the meaning of this is also...if the story works, we may hold a big collaboration and see if we can turn it into an RP, with the Op's permission, of course.
I would appreciate it if some people volunteered to judge, it'd help. I'm not sure if the idea's great, sorry...if it doesn't work out, forget this ever existed, my apologies...
*Hides*
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Afrikaisi is not online. Afrikaisi
Joined: 31 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 7141
26 Jul 2012 04:55 PM
How long does this have to be?
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 09:37 PM
As long as you want.
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HamsDrek is not online. HamsDrek
Joined: 04 May 2012
Total Posts: 435
26 Jul 2012 09:39 PM
What?

Eh, might as well enter after I finish that one entry.
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 09:41 PM
OK.
I feel this will fail horribly...
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MrGiraffe1 is not online. MrGiraffe1
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 23833
26 Jul 2012 10:20 PM
I’ll give it a shot

I have a feeling I will fail horribly but that just raises everyone else’s self esteem, right?

:D

is there are a certain genre or is this just random?
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 10:22 PM
RANDOM!
fjklsfjl;sakjklsdf
YAY.
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awesome234 is not online. awesome234
Joined: 01 May 2009
Total Posts: 18217
26 Jul 2012 10:26 PM
I would rather judge, but I could enter as well.
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MrGiraffe1 is not online. MrGiraffe1
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 23833
26 Jul 2012 10:27 PM
kk

well, this could be fun or bad
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CreativeMystery is not online. CreativeMystery
Joined: 29 May 2012
Total Posts: 18749
26 Jul 2012 10:28 PM
I would like to judge.
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 10:28 PM
@Awesome, I'd appreciate a judge.
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coolguy55333 is not online. coolguy55333
Top 25 Poster
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Total Posts: 72256
26 Jul 2012 10:29 PM
So do I just post it here?
Is it alright if it's very short, and not much of a story?
I have a decent prologue that I made for my in-work, full-length book.
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 10:29 PM
Sure, Creative. Glad people like it.
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 10:31 PM
@Cool, yes.
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coolguy55333 is not online. coolguy55333
Top 25 Poster
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Total Posts: 72256
26 Jul 2012 10:32 PM
Students quickly scrambled to their seats as the Director began to speak.

This was the most important choosing of the year. To my left sat one of my

very good friends, Nate, while on the other side sat my best friend who goes by

the name May. This crazy trio wasn't planning on being called up to the stand,

but there was nothing going in our favor this day. The Director spoke with much

malice in his voice as a he announced the destined students. “These three

students must stand up and accept their fates; Nate, Calix, and May.”
The announcement was repeated over and over in my head. Looking side

to side, my friends rose out of their seats, and a bright light shone upon us

from above. It took a minute to process what I was supposed to be doing. As

time passed, it occurred to me that I have to stand up, in front of the entire

community. There was a dreadful pause in time. The chair creaked, and the

three of us finally stood, giving our full attention to the merciless Director.

My crimson graduation-looking gown trembled with the body hidden

underneath, uncertain as to where fate may bring me after this terrible moment

passes. Will I continue being me? Will I continue to be apart of the community?

Will my relationship with The Eternal One suffer? Only time will tell, and all I

know is that I was in a bad situation in which only God could help.
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MrGiraffe1 is not online. MrGiraffe1
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 23833
26 Jul 2012 10:32 PM
I would have offered judging assistance too

but

that requires me reading

and giraffe’s can’t read writing by mortals
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coolguy55333 is not online. coolguy55333
Top 25 Poster
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Total Posts: 72256
26 Jul 2012 10:33 PM
Let it be known, that what I put up is the roughest of any rough draft that I have ever posted up.
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 10:33 PM
AbCatchem laughed. "Mortals..."
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 10:35 PM
AbCatchem spun her blade around, grinning mischievously. "I'll be making multiple stories." She flipped out her book, quill, and the trusty ink.
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CreativeMystery is not online. CreativeMystery
Joined: 29 May 2012
Total Posts: 18749
26 Jul 2012 10:37 PM
@coolguy

Was that your story?
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coolguy55333 is not online. coolguy55333
Top 25 Poster
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Total Posts: 72256
26 Jul 2012 10:38 PM
@Creative
Ahem, that was not a story,
but a prologue, so I would like some advice on how to make it better.
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MrGiraffe1 is not online. MrGiraffe1
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 23833
26 Jul 2012 10:40 PM
I’m going to be honest I’m not that big of a fan of story judges

All the reviews or comments I see on stories are either ‘OMG DIS GOOD, KEEP GOING’ or they name one irrelevant thing, forget a bunch of other things that need improving while naming about one or two actually relevant things.

It’s hard to get feedback on ROBLOX
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AbCatchem is not online. AbCatchem
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 31757
26 Jul 2012 10:42 PM
It is :( But Deviantart...sometimes...
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CreativeMystery is not online. CreativeMystery
Joined: 29 May 2012
Total Posts: 18749
26 Jul 2012 10:47 PM
~Thoughts~

I found it well-written and the grammar and writing were in great condition. I would have liked to see is a little more info on the characters. Also, it would have been nice to see a little more in info about the whole thing in general, I found the plot a bit confusing. Then again, most prologues are explained in the story. All together not bad.

~Overall~

More info on characters and situation.

~Rating~
7.5/10
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Afrikaisi is not online. Afrikaisi
Joined: 31 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 7141
26 Jul 2012 11:00 PM
The Heart of A Warrior

I breathed in the hot stiky smell of blood as I ran in horror. "Eagletalon?!" A shrill screech of pain filled the air. I swirled around and followed the sound, a choice I regreted. The closer I got the harder it was to breathe. "Eagletalon where are you?" And then I saw it. Eagletalon's body, cold and lifeless. "Eagletalon NO!!! Who did this to you!" I was as scared as a mouse. How did Eagletalon die? I thought. He was a stronge and powerful warrior one the clan couldnt afford to lose.Then I heard hisses of horrible laughter. "Who are you?!" I cried. Then a huge musclar jet black cat jumped from the bushes and pinned me on the spot. I kicked and flailed like a helpless kit. The tom's dark red eyes pierced my soul like a thorn. He started to dig his claws deeper and deeper into my shoulders. I saw my short life flash before my eyes. Would the clan ever wonder what happened to Lifepaw and Eagletalon? Would they even care? I snapped into reality as the tom started to claw my under belly. Another cat appeared from the bushes. He growled with pleasure "We are Duskclan."

(this is a warrior cat story so, sorry if you dont know what this is about)
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