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Re: Nameless western for the competition

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phillipsbackup is not online. phillipsbackup
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 11393
21 Jul 2012 04:52 PM
A special thanks to my step-grandfather, Daryl, For giving me an idea to make this as a western! In my opinion its much better than what it was going to be.



AND NOW... NAMELESS WESTERN


The funeral service was much too long for my taste. I have always been one to do things quickly and leave. However, for my dear grandfather, an eternity would have been acceptable. He was a large man, with a scraggly beard and a smiling face. His skin was tan before he died, before… This.

They listed his death as ‘Accidental Overdose’. The doctors may believe it. But I do not. It is a dirty lie, and I know it! To this day I am positive it was murder. Done by that smug demon… Fidel Knox.

“May god let my friend Augustus Roil down to rest.” The preacher said. I always liked him. He was a good friend of my grandfather. I loved him a lot. I thought I would lose him forever when I was drafted into the war about ten years ago. It was a futile attempt for the southern states to bring a win, as we lost less than a month later.

“And now, for the reading of the will.” The preacher said. Many of the crying mourners stopped, and all stared right at me. Smiling, happy me. I knew for a fact I would get most of, or the entire ranch he owned. My father had left me as a child, and his daughter, my mother, was murdered in an Indian raid. I had only one sibling, a brother who I had never met. His wife had died of age much longer before dear Grandfather.

Instead, to my deep dismay, the preacher handed me a letter. It was postal grade, probably coming from the mail services. There was no address, but a short sentence in my grandfather’s words. I frowned and read it aloud as the rest of the congregation left to give me my privacy.

“Do what must be done before you open this.” It said, in my grandfather’s scrappy handwriting. I didn’t know what it meant at first. I had seen grandfather right before he died, the poison slowly coursing through his blood. He wrote the word ‘Hello’ on a piece of paper. I nearly broke down into tears at that very moment, as his personal doctor pulled me away and told me to leave. I knew, by the tone of his voice, and the hatred in his eyes, he was the one who ‘accidently’ administered the poison to my grandfather. I would have pulled my gun and shot him down right then if the Sheriff had not have come to tell me off.

I looked at the letter again. Suddenly, I knew. My grandfather wanted revenge. He wanted to make sure his death was not in vain.

And I was to administrate it.


I waited a few days for the baggage to come off. For my few remaining family members to go back to their homes, for my friends to leave me to grieve. I sat alone in my two story house, with money but not a soul to share it with. I worked very little, herding mustangs on the ranch, but I was rewarded like a king. I would always say “This is too much, I do not deserve it.” He would always reply, “No, it is not enough.” And smile. Tears fell from my eyes; I remember them, salty and bitter. I loaded my revolver, and put the letter in my jacket. Then, I saddled up my pony and rode to the estate.

I walked inside to the estate. Pictures of civil war veterans carrying rifles, generals swinging sabers, and bloody battles going on in the painters mind. “Beautiful, aren’t they?” A voice rang out. I looked up. Fidel Knox smiled at me, that hellish smile without a soul. “Yes, my father had a taste in art… Not in doctors… Actually, his taste in medical staff was a bit… ‘Sour’.”

Fidel stopped for a moment, taking in the insult. “He wanted me to do it.” He said. I growled, my knuckles going white on my holster, but I pulled back. “You are lying.” I said, trying to keep my cool. “A quick death by poison is preferable to a slow death by scarlet fever, wouldn’t you say?” He said. I stopped, because I knew grandpa has some sort of illness, but scarlet fever? No…

“I decided to help him. He asked for me to end the pain, and I did. A homemade poison of berries and sugar, and he felt little pain.” Fidel said. “I know you are mad, but you do not…” I cut him off with a thoughtful “Go to hell.”

At that moment I noticed his hand was at his side too, clutching a smaller gun than mine. I thought it would be more difficult to fire. “You can escort me.” He said. I suddenly pulled my revolver and fired. I missed. He dove behind a pillar. I heard another shot fire. I saw bits of wood splinter off the large doors at the entrance.

I fired two shots back, both bouncing off the pillar. He shot again. I retaliated, the shot backfiring into the face of a confederate soldier. “Give it up; the sheriff will be here soon!” Fidel yelled. I retaliated by firing another shot. It chipped the stone pillar. I sighed and fired my last one into the ceiling. “I only got one bullet left, you hear?” I said. The doctor paused for a moment and said, “Me too.”

I had not given attention to how many shots he had fired, so I believed him. “On three?” I said. He began counting to three. “One, Two…” He paused. I screamed out “THREE!” And dove out of the cover. I heard a shot fire. Then another. That damn coward did NOT have one bullet left!

He fired another shot. Then his gun clicked. “You see what happens when you cheat?” I said. He gave me that soulless smile. I wiped it off his face with a bullet between the eyes. It traveled through his skull and exited. It landed right on a picture of me as a child, sitting of Grandfather Augustus’s lap. At that moment, I felt a pain in my side.

I looked down quizzically to see a nice puddle of red on the floor next to me. “Oh no…” I said, my vision going blurry. I remember the sound of neighing horses, and the sheriff knocking the door down. He and his men ran in. The last thing I heard was, “This one isn’t dead yet…”


Now here I am, slowly walking to the place where I will die. The hangman’s noose looks terrifying in the sunlight of noon.

It was quite obvious I have murdered Fidel. If it was not for his retaliation, I, Larry Roil would be running free today. The sheriff gives some sort of stupid speech about the murder, and then asks me if I have anything I want to do before I die. I do.

“I wish to have the will read to everyone here.” I said, smiling. He stopped for a moment, then asked for the letter to be given to him. After a few minutes, his aid returned with the crumpled and slightly-bloodied paper.

He clears his throat now. I look right into his eyes as they tighten the rope around my neck. Opening the paper with his knife, he takes it out gingerly. It is short, just as I suspected, because of course I get everything.

“I, Augustus Roil, in sound mind and Not-So-Sound health, hereby declare all of my worldly belongings to be given to Larry Roil… And his long lost brother, Fidel Knox.
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phillipsbackup is not online. phillipsbackup
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 11393
21 Jul 2012 04:57 PM
What happened to the symbols i put in between each scene... Thing.

FSFDGDFGHDNHDFGHMGFHFGF
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gwebster2 is not online. gwebster2
Joined: 29 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 5671
21 Jul 2012 05:03 PM
*Clap...clap...clap*
I think your through.
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phillipsbackup is not online. phillipsbackup
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 11393
21 Jul 2012 05:04 PM
You mean... You mean I lost?

WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
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gwebster2 is not online. gwebster2
Joined: 29 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 5671
21 Jul 2012 05:05 PM
No.
Through to the next round,silly.
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phillipsbackup is not online. phillipsbackup
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 11393
21 Jul 2012 05:07 PM
Oh.

Mchay.

*Proudfacehere*
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evilishness is not online. evilishness
Joined: 10 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 4837
21 Jul 2012 05:10 PM
I honestly think you could've done better.

No support, sorry. :\
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phillipsbackup is not online. phillipsbackup
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 11393
21 Jul 2012 05:16 PM
What didn't you like about it?
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magma72 is not online. magma72
Joined: 23 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 5114
21 Jul 2012 06:07 PM
*Notices all of those paragraphs* BETTER GET BACK TO WRITING!!!




~Magma72~
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phillipsbackup is not online. phillipsbackup
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 11393
21 Jul 2012 06:12 PM
Naw, you got it won. Unless someone gets a 1 im out!
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