long106
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| Joined: 26 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 248 |
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| 15 Jul 2012 10:37 PM |
'Call me a nerd because I’m smart. Call me a geek because I go on the computer. Call me ugly because I don’t care about clothes. Call me stupid because you think it won’t hurt me. Call me a huge mistake because I’m not perfect. Call me crazy because I’m not exactly the same as you are. Call me weird because I don’t like the things that you do. You all think I’m a human computer. Click, type, and enter. You think that you can just push me over, that it doesn’t hurt me. I’m only human. Those things hurt me like they’d hurt you. You say I need to be ‘normal’ for once – just because you aren’t my idol. You say that you’re ashamed of any similarity between us because I’m a not exactly like you. Idiot, moron, retard, ugly, fat. These words are thrown at me every day and I bear them on my shoulders. I laugh it off and pretend not to care when even my ‘friends’ say these things to me. And I go home with those words swimming around in my head and I feel that I am worthless. That my life is pointless. I am filled with rage, and I have nobody to take it out on but myself. My mother yells. My father is never home. My brother and sister say the same things that the people at school say. I have one actual friend who never suffers the same that I do. I am bullied like millions of kids, and won’t say a thing. I let you walk over me and make it easier. I slouch away from you and pretend that I don’t care. There is a time in every person’s life that they feel that they are worthless. Thanks to you, that day is every day. What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you – I love you. With all my heart, I love you. These are my final words and I am recording them to you for my family to find. So goodbye.'
And with that, she pulled the trigger. |
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| 15 Jul 2012 10:45 PM |
| Oh My ........ God . That Hurt me reading it , Not in pain of spelling , Grammar etc , But how Human it is , It shows emotion and with that I say , You are a excellent writer . |
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| 15 Jul 2012 10:55 PM |
| That ending...no, the whole story, so true in today's society, this is a work of art that should get published or something, shown to the world, it's so sad I feel like crying. You are an amazing writer. |
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| 15 Jul 2012 11:37 PM |
| Wow.....bullying hurts. @Juliet4ever agreed. It hurts me right now. |
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MCAdo
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| Joined: 02 Apr 2009 |
| Total Posts: 13542 |
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| 15 Jul 2012 11:41 PM |
WHO DID SHE SHOOT
I WANT TO KNOW THE MYSTERY
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MCAdo
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| Joined: 02 Apr 2009 |
| Total Posts: 13542 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 12:02 AM |
WHO IS SHE
ERNEST HEMINGWAY OR SUMTHIN |
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HamsDrek
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| Joined: 04 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 435 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 12:13 AM |
| Doesn't live up to the praise given by some of the posters. It is not breathtaking or excellent. It is just average, and easily lost among the crowd of "depressing" writing. |
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| 16 Jul 2012 02:59 AM |
| It reminds me of my life here on ROBLOX and in real.You so get me and those millions of kids out there.Amazing job. |
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HamsDrek
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| Joined: 04 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 435 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 03:13 AM |
| Tch. Can everyone stop praising this mediocre story? It is bland, boring, and average. There is nothing "special" about it. All I see is a young woman wangsting about how horrible her life is. I don't feel pity for her. All I see is a moron whining and complaining, then taking the easy way out. I might pity her if I knew her better. If she even had a name. You should have developed her more. You should have developed her petty "torment" more. But since you simply glossed over them, like they were unimportant and petty, that is exactly how I felt about this story. It's a tasteless piece that I was eager to finish- mainly because I wanted it to be over as soon as possible. |
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gymnast82
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| Joined: 21 Dec 2009 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 06:15 AM |
@Hamsdrek:
So it may not be beautiful, but who are you to walk around and so rudely say that it was 'petty and mediocre'. It was not, it was simply average. You could have said that it was average in a nicer way. Also, the point of the story was to get the point across about bullying, not to be a masterpiece. Why don't you write a piece of writing and then have somebody tell you that it is bland, petty, or boring. |
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| 16 Jul 2012 08:31 AM |
| Ham there are different styles of writing. Long chose to write it with little detail, just to show emotion. The words of the bullied are being shown, not what happened to her. It is mean to be an emotional piece, and I really did love it. This was the girl's suicide note. |
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twdurgan
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| Joined: 07 May 2009 |
| Total Posts: 3941 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 09:03 AM |
| I have to say, most of the things in here apply to me. In fact, the only insult that isn't used among these is retard, because in that case I'm gunpowder and they've just thrown in a match (a few kids have met my fist, and they came out worse than I did, considering a few of them were knocked out on the first hit). It's not the same on the net, of course, I know that those are just lights on a screen. I have to say, though, that I criticize what this conveys. That people will commit suicide because of bullying. While that is true, only stupid people would do that, because I've seen homeless, starving people, had a convo with them, and they told me that, even though they literally have nothing but the clothes on their back and a piece of cardboard with some writing on it, they still have hope. As a brony, though, in school, I am one of only 2. this being middle school, where people drink things like that as if they're a desert oasis, there is not a single kid in my grade that I do not know the name of, and that's about 160 kids. At least 130 of them have messed with me in one way or another, 20 leave it alone, and 10 (the only for-sure number here) know me as a friend. The sad thing? 20 of the 130 were my friends before I was a brony. Yes, I have EASY availability to guns, knives and roped, but do I use any of these on myself? No. My mom may yell, but she's a good mom, my dad may be in prison, but hey, he went there trying to protect me. My brother doesn't "bully" me, persay, but then again, he is 7. |
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HamsDrek
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| Joined: 04 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 435 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 10:05 AM |
Gymnast, it's called criticism. It's called being productive and not just acting like a moron that blindly praises everything. Praise doesn't help like criticism. If anything, it can give someone an inflated ego. Besides, I'd be find if it was quality. But it's not. It. Is. Bland.
And, now to address what Ranger has to say..
Yes, there are different styles of writing. But this didn't do it for me. Ironically, due to lack of details, I can't make the emotional link that gets me to feel pity. As a result, I don't care about the protagonist. |
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| 16 Jul 2012 10:14 AM |
| Well it wasn't supposed to have details. Because of that it is an amazing story if you judge it in the correct category. |
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HamsDrek
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| Joined: 04 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 435 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 10:21 AM |
| Yes, but we need details in order for us to have sympathy for the character! Due to the lack of details she sounds like any other angsting young woman. If she had details that stuck out, if they were developed correctly, and if we got to knew this character, it would be a different story. |
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MCAdo
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| Joined: 02 Apr 2009 |
| Total Posts: 13542 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 10:49 AM |
LITTLE MISS KURT COBAIN
WHAT KIND OF GUN DID SHE USE? |
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Lemona
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| Joined: 28 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 266 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 11:12 AM |
@HamsDrek; I hope you do understand that this was not meant to be drop-dead stunning with detail, we're praising her for the message she gave off, and if you can't do that then leave. I'm not saying that we should praise her for everything in this message, there were a few things that I might have changed, but I would love for you to explain how this being so-called "bland, boring, and average" message is being productive, as you mentioned earlier. If you don't like it then don't respond unless you're going to say something halfway decent about it. It's not giving constructive criticism when you don't bother to offer advice, instead pointing out "It. Is. Bland."
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HamsDrek
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| Joined: 04 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 435 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 11:21 AM |
| Well, I'm going to safely assume that you, Lemona, are a moron. If you even bothered to read the paragraphs of writing I put out, you could see that I did offer criticism. Mainly, that it needs more details. And are you saying I should leave just because I want to offer something that would actually be helpful? That is an incredibly stupid thing to say, because writing matures through criticism, rewriting, and editing. You have to run things through countless times, take out bits that don't work, add an explanation, etc. It is a lot of work. And as I've said. Criticism is productive because it helps the writer grow and mature. Licking their boots and saying anything they write is great because their brain is holy and full of perfect ideas is stupid, and even counterproductive. It can inflate their ego, and then, when someone gives constructive criticism, they brush it off because THEY ARE A GENIUS THAT CANNOT BE PUT DOWN BY THOSE NASTY PEOPLE. |
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| 16 Jul 2012 11:27 AM |
| Ham actually criticism does not work for every person. Sometimes they need praise because that is how they get better. It depends on the person. T_T And most constructive criticism is never actually criticism. |
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HamsDrek
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| Joined: 04 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 435 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 11:28 AM |
| It seems our views are conflicting, as I believe praise to be next to useless, and criticism to be the backbone of improvement. |
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| 16 Jul 2012 11:58 AM |
| Well it depends on the person. Some people criticize themselves to much, needing much more praise. Others praise themselves, needing more criticism. Still others are balanced, needing both. Sometimes I self criticizer needs criticisms and a self praiser needs praise. They may act differently then they think, as I do. My mom thinks I am conceited and self centered and such when I really am not. Criticism and praise is needed in different amounts for different people. Everyone is different so you can not say one is the best way to help a person. |
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gymnast82
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| Joined: 21 Dec 2009 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
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| 16 Jul 2012 12:54 PM |
| I do believe in constructive criticism, but sometimes people can be a little too harsh on others. It isn't meant to be a beautiful piece. If you want a wonderful story, read a book. Don't go around calling people morons who try to tell her that she is a good writer. People have opinions, and their opinions may not be the same as yours. |
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