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Re: My story. =[Chapter 1]=

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Jacebighero is not online. Jacebighero
Joined: 22 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 145
14 Jul 2012 03:34 PM
I woke up in a test lab on Vaktovian territory.I kept seeing things.The only thing I was sure of was me seeing some guns and swords flipping.I went to sleep again. 2 hours later, I found myself in a room. There was a microphone saying:"All VACs head to the training facility and await further instructions".Then I began to remember from the word "VAC".But before I can tell you that story I need to tell you this one so you can understand this story more."Starlite Cadet Jace, give me your blood sample"Starlite Colonel Akilroth. "Yes sir."I said."All right you're good to go, meet with the other Cadets at the speech stand"Starlite Colonel Akilroth.
I went there I found a Lt named Qanakin waiting there.I talked to a Starlite Cadet, I asked him what is happening?."I don't know let's wait and find out"Starlite Cadet.I kept wandering what was happening.Then the image appears bright and clear. It turns out that there was a training being hosted."All Starlite Cadets head to the changing room to serve your body armour,All who are wearing the body armour head to the obstacle courses and await further instructions"Lt Qanakin. There was another Lt helping out the Cadets.He gave us the power armour and I don't know his namy yet."This power armour is hot as hel"I said. "You need to turn the cooler on, see that little green button on the right side of your chest? Press it"The other Lt."Ahh, much better"I said.The Obstacle courses were hard to finish since it was our first times.But there was a Cadet that finished them all easily.His name was Ash.I couldn't believe how he did them all easily.There was a Cadet I knew before I joined SC.His name is Fin.Anyways,the first obby was the easiest.It was just easy jumps, the 2nd needed some balance and jumping.The third was the hardest for me since we need to go through the sides of a wall on the tip of falling off.
We went to a ho-lo room.Lt Qanakin went to an ID scanner.He was verified."State Command"The Computer said."Computer Start up the Desert bi-om ho-lo."Lt Qanakin said."State the rank of soldiers"The Computer."Cadets"Lt Qanakin"Acknowledged,Starting up jungle biom"Computer.It was magnificent how the computer created a whole enviorment out of just thin air.The other Lt started to give swords and guns to the soldiers.I thought that we were suppose to shoot targets but, instead we were suppose to elimnate other soldiers."Sir Qanakin, these are lethal weapons we can't kill our comrades they'll die!"I said."The Sergeant that asked you for your blood sample was to find your DNA so if you die here you will come back to life but on another place."Lt Qanakin said.
The fight began I mostly hid in the trees and leaves. Every soldier died except for two people.Me and fin were the last two people, I couldn't shoot my own comrade so I sticked to hiding but unfortunatley the computer changed the biom so I fell off and I was seen by Fin.I hestated a little bit but I shot him dead...I couldn't believe what i've done but good thing he is still alive.Qanakin looked at his watch,"We don't have time. All Cadets head to Outpost Alena for a raid meeting!".We all headed there, I found the Commander waiting there."All troops who are at our outpost head to the speech stand immediatly!"A General said.
I went there and found suprisngly 10 people before me.The Commander began saying."We will raid WIJ,Take out the shields all of them then remove the shield and bring it back to our base.Make sure you don't lose the shield.Also take out the sniper on the gates.That is all may we win this raid.GLORY TO STARLITE!"The Commander said. "GLORY TO STARLITE!"All of the troops said.We went to outpost Cerulean.I found a good bunker so I stayed there with my assault rifle.I began shooting down some WiIJs they were mostly running to the shield or camping on the gate so they were easy shots.Fin was running to the shield.I was right next to him on his left. I saw a sniper aiming on him the sniper fired I pushed him out of the way and I died.I didn't get back to life or anything I stayed like that.Till something happened to me that I will tell you next time.
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Anonymice is not online. Anonymice
Joined: 10 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 4
14 Jul 2012 03:42 PM
What my interpretation is of this little tale is that you were a Starlite recruit, captured by the Vaktovian Empire, and brainwashed to think that your captors were, in fact, your former Starlite allies. They staged you with other prisoners to test your survivalist instincts, the end result being you killed someone who may or may not have been your friend and comrade, Fin.

Having shown your willingness to overcome your past, you are sent with other Vaktovians to Outpost Cerulean, still under the heavy effects of the mental manipulation. You move to a bunker, where you pick off scattering WIJians, until you notice your friend Fin, the real Fin, and the sniper taking aim. You push Fin away, and the sniper kills you instead.

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Anonymice is not online. Anonymice
Joined: 10 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 4
14 Jul 2012 03:43 PM
Never mind my post, I just reread again and saw that the entire chapter was a prologue to the present setting of the story.
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Jacebighero is not online. Jacebighero
Joined: 22 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 145
14 Jul 2012 03:47 PM
Well you were near from the next chapter's story.Oh and I like to see people who like my work.I'n actully in 7th grade and I write poetry and Stories.I'm hoping to be better at my skills and you just helped me a little bit.And it is true that I was brainwashed by Starlitians I was captured after a fight between Starltians and Vaktovians I was killed by a Starlite so was Fin.I still remember him being my friend but I don't remember being a Vaktovian.Then the Commander orders all the brainwashed Cadets to go and raid WIJ.Heh I won't tell anymore spoilers.
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AdmiralShanel is not online. AdmiralShanel
Joined: 08 May 2012
Total Posts: 77
17 Jul 2012 01:23 AM
Nice

~Starlite Corporation Captian Admiral Bane~
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arcticglalian is not online. arcticglalian
Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Total Posts: 6181
17 Jul 2012 01:41 AM
Interesting. You may want to make your next stories in paragraphs to be easier to read.
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