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| 03 Jul 2012 03:44 PM |
-=[Just another story. The invasion is true, but you will obviously spot parts that didn't happen]=-
As I stood in the command room of a Vaktovian Badanov, over seeing the Vaktovian Air Fleet, I heard a trooper calling my name as the metal slide door closed behind him. "Sir, a JC invasion was just launched on the Swampy Moon," said the trooper. "How did we miss that? My entire fleet is watching the Moon," I replied. "It appears that they flew in from the opposite side of the moon," replied the trooper. "Colonel Radec asks that you send most of the fleet to the other side," said the troop. I stopped for a second and started at my fleet again. "Tell Radec that my fleet is on the way,", I replied.
-=[End of Chapter 1]=-
-=[I know that this specific chapter was short, but if I get a good amount of commets I shall continue, and I'm sure to make the others long.]=- |
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| 03 Jul 2012 03:48 PM |
| It's pretty good but I've seen way better storys. You should put more emotion in what the characters say and have less of "I replied" or "said the troop" |
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| 03 Jul 2012 03:55 PM |
| Well i just want a good descriptive space battle Please and thank you |
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| 03 Jul 2012 03:57 PM |
I'M IN SUSPENSE.
[READ THE TRUTH, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR SLIMY LIES!: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=71358622]
^My signature, and the non-RP story of the VAK counter strike and defense. |
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