generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
   
ROBLOX Forum » Pop-Culture (Music/Books/Movies/TV)
Home Search
 

Re: Last night I wrote two lyrics to songs.

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Aderessa is not online. Aderessa
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 14305
17 Jun 2012 06:19 PM
I don't know where they came from, but they were just kind of...there. I can't really tell if I like them or not, so, Music forum, can you give me your opinion?

Song 1- nameless atm

Burning with quiet envy, staring as the fire within consumes me
As I turn my back to the world, one last time
All I see is hatred in even the purest eyes

Sail, sail away
As the sea burns today
I'm left to face myself, the mirror's so unforgiving
Revive me, for all that I've done has left me but a shell
And I know, no it's not fair how
We see only deceit and lies, through the most biased eyes

I know it's strange, how, even when we've known each other
Through so many things, right and wrong, good and bad
I still feel like I don't know you, the person staring back at me, in the mirror
For all the lies you've ever told me, built a wall of uncertainty
But the illusion's fading, now, so

Sail, sail away
As the sea burns today
I'm left to face myself, the mirror's so unforgiving
Revive me, for all that I've done has left me but a shell
And I know, no it's not fair how
We see only deceit and lies, through the most biased eyes

[ Instrumental, mayhaps? ]

So sail, sail away
As the sea burns today
I'm left to face myself, the mirror's so unforgiving
Revive me, for all that I've done has left me but a shell
And I know, no it's not fair how
We see only deceit and lies, through the most biased eyes

~~~~~~

Song 2, also nameless

I've been walking on the sun for so long
It burns away each part of me, every last little thing
All that I can see is far beyond my childish dreams
Everlasting, ever-changing, and I, oh I

Can't run away any longer
Can't grow any stronger
Can't feel this way I do
For all that's right and true, has enveloped me in regret
The sun grows colder every waking hour
Shadows filled with malice stare back at me
I can't breathe, but I feel fine

Rivers are filled with tears of many sentient beings
Faster than their broken hearts can beat softly
Swallowed them whole, did the great blue sky,
For I

Can't run away any longer
Can't grow any stronger
Can't feel this way I do
For all that's right and true, has enveloped me in regret
The sun grows colder every waking hour
Shadows filled with malice stare back at me
I can't breathe, but I feel fine

I'm not sleeping today
For I wished all my nightmares away
Crawling deep through the crevices of a cavern
Filled to the brim with hollow promises
I won't ever see them again, but I won't fight any longer
All I have is worthless, now, but
I've learned that I


Can't run away any longer
Can't grow any stronger
Can't feel this way I do
For all that's right and true, has enveloped me in regret
The sun grows colder every waking hour
Shadows filled with malice stare back at me
I can't breathe, but I feel fine

~~~~

Re-reading them makes me realize that they sound really depressing, and kind of cliche. Song two has some really good parts, but the chorus is weak, and song one doesn't seem to make any sense to me. Oh well.
Report Abuse
Aderessa is not online. Aderessa
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 14305
17 Jun 2012 06:41 PM
Unsure if acceptable to bump this, but I will, anyway...
bump
Report Abuse
Aderessa is not online. Aderessa
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 14305
17 Jun 2012 07:36 PM
Bump...:L
Report Abuse
alternate916 is not online. alternate916
Joined: 08 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 21
17 Jun 2012 07:37 PM
what genre are these songs
Report Abuse
Aderessa is not online. Aderessa
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 14305
17 Jun 2012 07:39 PM
@alternate
I'd say rock, though to be honest I'm not completely sure myself.
Report Abuse
Aderessa is not online. Aderessa
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 14305
17 Jun 2012 10:05 PM
Sorry to bump this again, but I really would like some opinions on how to improve.
Report Abuse
ashkiller is not online. ashkiller
Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Total Posts: 4106
17 Jun 2012 10:53 PM
Can you sum up what each of these are about?
Report Abuse
Aderessa is not online. Aderessa
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 14305
17 Jun 2012 10:57 PM
@ash
I would, but unfortunately, I don't really know. I believe, though, that through rereading I can interpret that number one is about being deceived and left unsure about everything, and two would be about feeling trapped.
Report Abuse
JohnBonham is not online. JohnBonham
Joined: 03 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 11467
17 Jun 2012 11:24 PM
A BEATLE IN THE MAKING!
Report Abuse
MeaFairy is not online. MeaFairy
Joined: 15 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 1932
18 Jun 2012 04:21 AM
I like the first song better, but they're both really, really good.
Seriously, I wouldn't change a thing.
Who cares if they sound 'depressing', they're meaningful.
Keep it up. :D
Report Abuse
Principal123 is not online. Principal123
Joined: 21 May 2011
Total Posts: 2141
18 Jun 2012 04:36 AM
It is nice, I write songs and find this quite interesting.

Next time, add a beach.


Just joking. :)
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 1
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Pop-Culture (Music/Books/Movies/TV)
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image