generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
   
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » Off Topic
Home Search
 

Re: YOU AHVE TO LOOK AT THIS

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Redtalon65 is not online. Redtalon65
Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 10481
10 Jun 2012 08:22 PM
First one, from "^-The Germ-^"

In this one, Evil Scientists turn Invader Zim into a Zombie Spam Bot with Voodoo Claws, while the Scientists all turn out to be in the heads of but one scientist, who dies and joins Invader Zim on his quest to become Nigerian Princes. Or something like that. It might have just been zombies. I start off commenting on his English skills, but quickly jump into my normal style.



"story line"

Nice capitalization there, buddy.

"In a lab About 2120 there was a Group of scientists."

Incorrect capitalization, lack of punctuation, wrong tense, and bland as hell.

"There In A clear white room only one door that is reinforced."

They're, not there. Also, again, lack of punctuation and incorrect capitalization.

"In the middle of the room the is a table with a dead corpse on It."

As opposed to a living corpse. Those are just the worst.

"There are 5 men in white lab coats surrounding it there face in intense consertraion"

Wow, I love Consertraion. It's my favorite thing to do!

"ON man is carefully hold the corpses mouth open with two metal sticks and the other is slowly pouring a green liquid in its mouth."

Ontario Man? Also, two metal sticks? Did they just find a pair of steel toothpicks or something? Also, I've given up on mentioning the fact that There only has one meaning, not 3.

"When there done pouring the corpse lets out a spamzim."

Spamzim?
Oh god. They're creating spam bots. Those MONSTERS!

"The doctors quickly back away but they go on ignoring what happened 4 hours later of hard work the day is over they go home."

What, you mean the trained doctors don't care that their cadaver just had a seizure? And they just go home?"

"The next day they come back to see a terafing sight"

Terafing? Tera-thing? Terra-fing? I'm guessing that they saw a thing from Tera and were like "Woah man, that game is awesome, right?"
(/has never played Tera)

"The corpse is alive dangling from the celling the head upside and the left eye dangling from its socket it opens it’s mouth to show 2 rows of razor sharp teeth its barley resizable as human."

Those poor scientists can even resize the zombie. Also, the corpse is alive and dangling from the ceiling? How? Did it just come to life and then hang himself?

"One of the doctors gets on his protection suit"

Protection Suit? Really? That is the single worst name for a Hazardous Materials Suit I've ever heard.

"and goes The Zim(what the doctors named it)"

God damn it, guys. First you cancel his show, then you turn him into a zombie/spam-bot hybrid? You guys suck.

"admentenly"

I can't even tell what word you're trying to spell here, that's how this is getting.

"jumps down from the ceiling slashing the doctor with its claws witch cut through the suit like its paper."

Yeah, because it's a HazMat suit, not freaking MJOLNIR. What did they expect? Also, why does it have claws that are also witches?

"He’s is dead instantly."

He's is dead? HE'S IS? Really now? He is is? Are you even past first grade? My six year old brother is better at writing than you!

"He suddenly starts to jerk and spaz then he slowly gets up eyes blood shot red"

I think blood shot red is redundant. Kind of like saying the Eagle of Flight.

"The Zims smash through the two feet reinforced metal walls"

TWO FOOT WALLS? You could fit people in those things, and you're telling me they just walk out? And what happened to the other 4 scientists? Did they just leave? Did they have a heart attack? Were the figments of the first scientist's imagination?

"and start run down the corridor on two feet at speeds of30Mph"

Run on two feet? What, do they just powerslide through the halls at 30 miles per hour (Which is faster then a lot of cars, you idiot. They'd probably get torn apart, moving at that speed all the time with their rotting limbs.

"The alarms go off but its already to late."

Both Invader Zim and the Scientist are Nigerian Princes, and tried for the rest of their lives to give their money away to all the poor internet citizens in the world. Everyone passed them off as spam emails. Eventually, they both died from old age in each other's arms. The End.

From, Xilirite.
Report Abuse
yummygreece is not online. yummygreece
Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 6352
10 Jun 2012 08:34 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
Report Abuse
Redtalon65 is not online. Redtalon65
Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 10481
11 Jun 2012 06:42 AM
Want another one?
Report Abuse
sonicfan276 is not online. sonicfan276
Joined: 12 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 5524
11 Jun 2012 06:49 AM
tl;dr
Report Abuse
Redtalon65 is not online. Redtalon65
Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 10481
11 Jun 2012 07:00 AM
Another one. This one is from "thestoryof"

Oh dear god. In this one, we see a first grader live off the land and help random villagers after being given away by his parents to some guy they know for no reason who ended up dying, and is then attacked by Joe the Samurai because Joe isn't right in the head. It's all just exposition, too, so it makes me vomit.



"When yomin was 1,his parents gave him to their closest friend,Yuji,a samurai from the dimond clan."

Okay, wait, hold on. Let me just stop here for a sec before we continue, because a lot is going on. Who the hell is Yomin? Why do his parents hate him so much that they just give them to their buddy in the Faux-Diamond clan?

"When he was 4, a war started between good and evil itself."

Why is it always good and evil? Why not good and slightly less good? Or Morally Grey and Slightly Less Morally Grey, Drifting Slightly Towards Black?

"Yuji was killed by the demons."

What demons? How was he killed? Is this entire tale just clumsily executed exposition?

"From that day Yomin tried to forget as much as he could,but from that day,he remembers seeing the moon flash,as the arrow struck him."

How can he remember it if he's for? And why did the moon flash? And you can't just say him and he over and over again, because now, it appears to be the case that the arrow struck Yomin, and then Yuji was just like 'Crap, his parents will kill me if they find out. Better end it sooner rather then later!' and died.

"He stayed alone for 2 more years,living off nature,always trying to help when needed to those in trouble."

BUT HE'S SIX! HOW THE HELL CAN HE LIVE OFF NATURE AND HELP PEOPLE IF HE IS SIX?

"One day he ran into another samurai,Joe,who attacked him and almost brought him to his death."

Joe? Joe the Samurai saw a little kid, and the first thing thought that passed through his head was "KILL DESTROY DEATH MURDER"

"Yet he spared him,and he became Yomin's master."

Why did he spare him? Did he suddenly realise he was beating on a first grader? Why did he become the kid's master? EXPLAIN THESE THINGS!

"to be continued later--->"

Oh my god, I was right. The whole thing really IS just clumsily executed execution. My god.
My eyes aren't even bleeding, they're just blood now. Orbs of blood, that just keep spinning in circles. At least I get to save money on red paint, now.
Report Abuse
Redtalon65 is not online. Redtalon65
Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 10481
11 Jun 2012 10:39 AM
This is from...uh...I forget the name already, it's so Generic. Something to do with power. Anyways.

In this post, an old man invades my home in Southern USA as the Gods troll the only kid left in existence. Also, I try to figure what the word for "The Opposite of Exist" would be. Best I can think of is Negativexist.



I've been waiting a LONG TIME to do this again.




"You live under the rule of Gods."

So it's set in Southern USA. Crap. (CUTTING RELIGIOUS COMMENTARY BY XILIRITE)

"They are really powerful.'

NO WAY! THE GODS ARE POWERFUL! How the HELL does THAT make ANY sense?

"One day they announce that the children will be sacrificed."

Just 'cause.

"That means you."

You are all the children. ALL THE CHILDREN.

"You cant to know why."

...Never mind.

"Start with this:"

What if we wanted to make our own entrance up? WHY ARE YOU SUCH A TYRANT?!

"You walk down the hall to say your last good-byes."

What hall? The hall in my house? I guess that's what hall you mean.

"You come across an old man."

OLD MAN, HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE?!

""You know why the Gods want your dead?", he ask."

NO, I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY WANT MY CONCEPT OF THE OPPOSITE OF LIFE, BUT I'M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU!

"You reply, "Yes, it is not fair.""

NO I DON'T, I REPLY "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU TERRIFYING MAN!"

"The children of this town are special. The Gods are afraid you will overrule them."

But they're children. And they're Gods. Can't they just snap their fingers and un-exist them (anti-exist? Aexist? Post-Existify?)

Why do I do this to myself? Why don't I just read the good threads
Report Abuse
Shadow50X is not online. Shadow50X
Joined: 02 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 3277
11 Jun 2012 10:43 AM
Haha, that's nice! :D
Report Abuse
Redtalon65 is not online. Redtalon65
Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 10481
11 Jun 2012 10:46 AM
This one is from "< /3~School of Hunger~< /3"

In this one, I read the embodiment of cancer.



"(the broken hearts are because there hungry"

Because your Esophagus goes to your heart, not your stomach. That's why food can give you heart attacks!

"i made this for my friend btw xD)"

Jesus Christ, I'd hate to see what you do to your enemies...

"Its the 11th hunger games and because of conflict between the districts and the capital.'

Because of the conflict, absolutely NOTHING has changed. At all.

"Beacuase"

Beacuase? I've heard that before...
(YOU ONLY PRESS ONE!!!! BUT-TEN!!! THE ENTIRE TIME!!!!)

"of this they moved all the children into a highschool so teh adults have to fight in a different place."

Because absolutely happened, children got an education. HOORAY!

"Every year the kids ALL(i am mixing it up from the regular book)"

I think most people know that the Hunger Games is not, as the title suggests, a food fight that ends in mass starvation. Although that would be awesome. I'm patenting that idea.

"kids have to fight."

So much for mixing it up. I change Star Wars by giving the Jedi Magic, not the Force.

"When they get to the games they’re pokeballs lined up for people to use as wepons."

No. This is...NO. WHY THE ASS ARE THERE POKEBALLS?!

"If you have sponser they can send you a gentically altered wolf partner so they can help you fight."

Oh my dear god. I was smiling just a minute ago. Now I'm just angry. You turned The Hunger Games -- A book filled with genuinely interesting political intrigue and oppression -- into a High School, with Pokemon and Furries. SCREW YOU, BROKEN HEART TILDE SCHOOL OF HUNGER TILDE BROKEN HEART

"You prepare for the games beforehand like the legit book."

WHO CARES?

"wwe are startin’(lol eridan speech)"

What, now all the contestants are WRESTLERS, too? My god, this is going to be the most staged Hunger Games EVER.

"a little before the games start, so just act like a regular kid(whose been though a whole lotta crap lol XD)"

Just act like a normal person, who was just TORN AWAY FROM HIS PARENTS AND FRIENDS TO BECOME A WRESTLER, HAVE HIS HEART TURNED INTO A STOMACH, AND TO DO BATTLE WITH POKEBALLS AND HIS TRUSTY ANTHROPOMORPHIC ANIMAL!

I have all the cancer now. ALL THE CANCER.
Report Abuse
Redtalon65 is not online. Redtalon65
Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 10481
11 Jun 2012 10:46 AM
I has a huge list of dem.

(Floodcheck 1)

(Floodcheck 2)
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 1
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » Off Topic
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image