akumaru11
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| Joined: 19 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2588 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:05 PM |
So downstairs, my house has a major ant problem. Luckily I reside upstairs. Nevertheless, once every 5 minutes or so an ant comes trotting along my desk. First I place a coin or another object in its path. This confuses the ant, causing it to run off in a different direction, but my finger is waiting. I block its path with my finger. It runs in the opposite direction, but I anticipate this. Soon the ant is encircled by pens and other barriers, and if it attempts to climb them, swift punishment is issued. The ant remains in my arena. Then I take my knife, and nimbly place the tip onto one of its legs, holding it in place, then I press down hard and chop the leg off. The ant does not run, it merely enters a craze moving all around wildly. I allow it to suffer like this for a minute or so, chopping off another leg if it appears not to be in pain. Then comes a decision. Sometimes I will wait for another ant, and place it in the arena to see what it does. Occasionally it will pick up its comrade, and run off, but this is an offense punishable by death. Other times, I will merely watch the ant until it gives up. It will stop moving all but one leg. At this point I give in and slice the ant in two, putting it out of its misery. I save the corpses in a small pile, and once I have a considerable stack, I scatter them in my arena. This is where the real fun begins.
I venture outside to my back yard and find a red ant. This is my gladiator. I return to my room and place him in among the corpses. He wanders, confused. I do not let him leave. I pound the desk near him with my fingers, scaring him. I toughen my gladiator up until another ant comes along. I place the intruder into the arena. The red ant will go after the black ant, and they engage in mortal combat. If the red ant wins, another corpse decorates my arena. If the black ant vanquishes his foe, he wins the prize of life. I carry him in my hands and bring him downstairs and place him among his comrades. If he put up a good fight, I give him a warriors welcome and feed his colony with bread. If he barely defeated the red ant, he receives no food, only the gift of life. This is how i spent my afternoons.
Should I get help? I'm really concerned about my behaviour... |
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jmmsalt
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| Joined: 03 Apr 2012 |
| Total Posts: 114 |
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akumaru11
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| Joined: 19 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2588 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:10 PM |
| It's just that... It's so fun... |
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Boeing717
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| Joined: 08 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 70007 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:12 PM |
i laughed at this
no bro its perfectly normal
you should become an exterminator you get paid to do stuff like this |
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rhinguin
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| Joined: 02 Aug 2009 |
| Total Posts: 15922 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:12 PM |
| Interesting... Sounds like something I would do.. |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:12 PM |
Epicness.
Place two or three Red Ants against eachother. Then it'll get more interesting. |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:13 PM |
how could you do that to an ant what did it ever do to you? |
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akumaru11
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| Joined: 19 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2588 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:13 PM |
| It invaded my place of dwelling. |
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akumaru11
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| Joined: 19 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2588 |
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jmmsalt
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| Joined: 03 Apr 2012 |
| Total Posts: 114 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:16 PM |
| I remember a year ago my frineds made sugar and fire ants battle eachother. |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:17 PM |
I don't feel like reading that. I want to get out of reading big long things. :P
Give me a break. |
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banshee7
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| Joined: 22 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5691 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:17 PM |
I'm not the one to ask.
There's these huge crowds of ants that are 1x1 feet wide, and literally block out the ground below. They form in the spring, and I tend to throw pop-its at them. It makes this weird ripple effect from all the ants scattering from the small explosion >:D |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:18 PM |
"I'm 23..."
do we live in a day and age where it is highly unlikely your average person will live to see past forty? |
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jacobcole
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2006 |
| Total Posts: 2410 |
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akumaru11
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| Joined: 19 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2588 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:20 PM |
| "...At this point I'm not sure if you're trolling or just a very, very mentally ill person." Neither. I'm completely mental and I'm not trolling. |
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akumaru11
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| Joined: 19 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2588 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:20 PM |
Sorry, on my part. I'm completely Sane.
~~~SIRRY FLOODCHECK~~~ |
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hawksfan
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| Joined: 14 Jul 2009 |
| Total Posts: 24644 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:22 PM |
no i remember this from long time ago
it's by santaftw |
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banshee7
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| Joined: 22 Jan 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5691 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:23 PM |
| When I was 5, I tore apart Daddy Long-legs and put the legless bodies in ant colonies because I though they were ants with leg tumors :P |
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9volt
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| Joined: 02 Dec 2007 |
| Total Posts: 11950 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:23 PM |
| 23? oookay. a bit old to play with ants, bud. |
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YelloAllo
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| Joined: 31 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2398 |
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| 10 Jun 2012 07:23 PM |
| BECOME AN ANT BULLY! SQUISH THEM, CRUSH THEM, FLOOD THEM! |
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