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Re: Zombie Survival Guide

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Tyleder is not online. Tyleder
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 109
01 Jun 2012 12:00 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Madman attacks in California result to cannibalism of people crazed. REAL INFORMATION ABOVE-------------------------------------------------=

There are 5 simple steps to survive a zombie Apocalypse, even someone like YOU could survive this.

Step 1: Make maps of the area around you, and gather resources in case the undead arrive

Step 2: When they come, use silent weapons. (Example: Board with a nail.) DO NOT use firearms unless they are silenced, you may be able to kill about 100 with guns, but then 1,000 will be at your front door.

Step 3: You need as many survivalists as possible, try the radio emergency channels, the more the better.

Step 4: The military will instruct you to go to major cities and relocate to military bases, DO NOT LISTEN, Majority of the undead would be there in major city's, for safe reasons stay about 30 miles away, small cities are better. Just make sure that they have stores and gas stations, etc. Smaller cities will only bring wanderers, not hordes.

Finally, Step 5: Never give up, show no depression, have strong moral.

These steps will lead you to safety, remember, the only safe place is with you.
I wish you all good luck if they come, post suggestions if you wish to. THIS IS NOT BOGUS
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iBarksdale is not online. iBarksdale
Joined: 10 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 3267
01 Jun 2012 12:01 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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JohnBonham is not online. JohnBonham
Joined: 03 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 11467
01 Jun 2012 12:01 PM
no real zombie infection has ever happened

so everyone is really riding upon the scenario of how they do it in a movie,

movies are just so... wrong

~You find that all the words of kindness linger on
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Shadowsoftime is not online. Shadowsoftime
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Total Posts: 22197
01 Jun 2012 12:01 PM
in the end, zombies love their brains fried filled with a taste of empty.

looks like you'll be their first victim.
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fallout75 is not online. fallout75
Joined: 26 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 9745
01 Jun 2012 12:02 PM
>show no depression, have strong moral

yep while your family memebers are being eaten and your life is basicly over,
show no care
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BlastB00M is not online. BlastB00M
Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 25555
01 Jun 2012 12:03 PM
"Do not use fire arms unless you have a silencer"


Dude, a silencer just makes big guns sound like smaller ones. It's not this mystical thing that can turn a gunshot into a "Pfft".
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Tyleder is not online. Tyleder
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 109
01 Jun 2012 12:05 PM
I ment Cannibal attacks, zombies wont be possible, but the power of suggestion will MAKE it happen.
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Tyleder is not online. Tyleder
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 109
01 Jun 2012 12:06 PM
@blastBOOM, silencers make a gun more silent, undead has sort of thermal imaging, sort of like hawks and owls.
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Vikie09 is not online. Vikie09
Joined: 04 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 11930
01 Jun 2012 12:07 PM
Good job, but why do the guns have to be silenced? If a zombie hears/sees you, it won't matter.
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BlastB00M is not online. BlastB00M
Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 25555
01 Jun 2012 12:07 PM
... You didn't read what i said, now did ye?
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Tyleder is not online. Tyleder
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 109
01 Jun 2012 12:09 PM
All im saying is that Silenced guns will be better for noise, attracting LESS of them, of course a few will come, but its better then your whole neighborhood
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captincook1998 is not online. captincook1998
Joined: 18 May 2010
Total Posts: 3028
01 Jun 2012 12:11 PM
If I saw a zombie I wouldn't care if I had a slincer or not, I would blast the zombie's face off.
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Tyleder is not online. Tyleder
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 109
01 Jun 2012 12:12 PM
I do agree with that, its very tempting, but i advise you not to.
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captincook1998 is not online. captincook1998
Joined: 18 May 2010
Total Posts: 3028
01 Jun 2012 12:13 PM
Machete would be useful too right?
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Tyleder is not online. Tyleder
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 109
01 Jun 2012 12:16 PM
Anything of the blunt or blade would be useful, firearms will be necessary. but firearms would just be like your last stand.
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NikolaiTheRussianFox is not online. NikolaiTheRussianFox
Joined: 01 May 2012
Total Posts: 1127
01 Jun 2012 12:19 PM
This guide sucks, it's a big fail.

Trust me, I know how to survive a Zombie Apocalypse, and this is not how.

Trust me, I'm Russian, I know stuff.
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Tyleder is not online. Tyleder
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 109
01 Jun 2012 12:23 PM
Then have fun as one of them.
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NikolaiTheRussianFox is not online. NikolaiTheRussianFox
Joined: 01 May 2012
Total Posts: 1127
01 Jun 2012 12:27 PM
Time to expose your big fails. Starting with step 1.

"Step 1: Make maps of the area around you, and gather resources in case the undead arrive"

What the Hell? Are you retarded? First off, if a Zombie Infection is just beginning, NEVER GO OUTSIDE, or else, you'll join the Undead Hordes.

Now, if your talking about planning BEFORE the Infection begins, be my guest, never go outside when the infection has begun, it'll be total anarchy.

Gather resources? You do realize that the crap costs MONEY right?

Try again.
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captincook1998 is not online. captincook1998
Joined: 18 May 2010
Total Posts: 3028
01 Jun 2012 12:30 PM
"Never give up, show no depression, have strong moral."
How do you not care when your friends and family are being eaten alive.
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NikolaiTheRussianFox is not online. NikolaiTheRussianFox
Joined: 01 May 2012
Total Posts: 1127
01 Jun 2012 12:32 PM
"Step 2: When they come, use silent weapons. (Example: Board with a nail.) DO NOT use firearms unless they are silenced, you may be able to kill about 100 with guns, but then 1,000 will be at your front door."

*sigh* Fail can be described here.

First off, shortage of ammunition will be expected, considering most people will be using firearms to fight off the hordes, as for silencers, you DO REALIZE that SILENCERS WILL BE SCARCE right?

Use ANY WEAPON YOU CAN FIND, never be specific about your weapons, because in a Zombie-Infested world, weapons will be VERY HARD TO FIND.

Try again.
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NikolaiTheRussianFox is not online. NikolaiTheRussianFox
Joined: 01 May 2012
Total Posts: 1127
01 Jun 2012 12:37 PM
"Step 3: You need as many survivalists as possible, try the radio emergency channels, the more the better."

You truly are stupid aren't you?

Radio's won't be working, idiot, all the power in the world will be GONE.

Having a radio only slows you down, and you should only ever group up with a surviver/survivers if they have skills necessary to survive, or for repopulation purposes.

Otherwise, their a waste of food.
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NikolaiTheRussianFox is not online. NikolaiTheRussianFox
Joined: 01 May 2012
Total Posts: 1127
01 Jun 2012 12:43 PM
"Step 4: The military will instruct you to go to major cities and relocate to military bases, DO NOT LISTEN, Majority of the undead would be there in major city's, for safe reasons stay about 30 miles away, small cities are better. Just make sure that they have stores and gas stations, etc. Smaller cities will only bring wanderers, not hordes."

I laughed at this one.

First off, stay away from cities PERIOD, unless you run out of supplies, towns & villages are where you want to stay, there will be less undead there.

As for hordes... hordes go anywhere, you can't gaurantee where they go, so techniclly, no place is safe from hordes.

Also, most governments will MOST LIKELY COLLAPSE IN THE ENSUEING ANARCHY.

Therefor, the military will be working with itself and only with itself.

NEVER, TRUST, THE MILITARY, OR THE GOVERNMENT IN A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

NEVER.

Rely on yourself and your friend, neighbors, family & fellow citizens.
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JohnBonham is not online. JohnBonham
Joined: 03 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 11467
01 Jun 2012 12:45 PM
>repopulation purposes

:)

Remind me to grab all the good looking chicks and bring them with me to a cellar before a zombie apocalypse.
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NikolaiTheRussianFox is not online. NikolaiTheRussianFox
Joined: 01 May 2012
Total Posts: 1127
01 Jun 2012 12:46 PM
"Finally, Step 5: Never give up, show no depression, have strong moral."

>Never give up

It's fine to have doubts, but don't worry other survivors.

>Show no depression

Again, it's fine to be depressed, but again, don't worry other survivors.

>Have a strong moral

If your mother was eaten alive in front of your eyes while her blood-curdling screams forever rang in yours ear, feel free to express your pain, but do so in a safe place.

===============

Bottom Line:YOUR SURVIVAL PLAN SUCKS.
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solidhead3 is not online. solidhead3
Top 50 Poster
Joined: 13 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 37646
01 Jun 2012 12:53 PM
"Creating plans to survive a one-in-infinitely-impossible scenario here, let me share them with you so that we might be paranoid together!"
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