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| 26 May 2012 03:58 PM |
1. Blondes in a Convertible
Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, which happened to be an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while. Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded, "HURRY, HURRY, IT'S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!"
2. Another Chance
One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb. They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."
The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd. She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?" The blonde responded: "November?"
"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A?" The blonde responded: "Paris?" So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?" The blonde replied: "Two?"
“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.
3. Blonde Q&A
Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common? A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? A: They think their picture is being taken.
4. Blonde Cops
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
5. Game of Intelligence There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. Then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
6. You've Got Blonde A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong"
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
7. Horrific Accident A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
8. The Circle A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
9. Blonde Logic January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911....."Duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
What a year!!!
10. 3 People in an Airplane Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy who was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy, why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came down and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!!"
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Vikie09
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Litemare
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goof333
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| Joined: 27 Aug 2008 |
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| 26 May 2012 04:10 PM |
| this is terrable. Shame on you. Not all Blondes are stupid, most of them arn't even natural blondes. |
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Litemare
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goof333
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| Joined: 27 Aug 2008 |
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| 26 May 2012 04:16 PM |
@Litemare, you forgot to capitlize Proving and forgot the . at the end. I wouldn't talk if i were you. |
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Litemare
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goof333
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| Joined: 27 Aug 2008 |
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| 26 May 2012 04:19 PM |
| Then why are you nit picking how i spell? Deal with it. |
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| 26 May 2012 04:20 PM |
@goof
you do realize we're not really being serious here?
you're so butthurt over it. |
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Litemare
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| 26 May 2012 04:21 PM |
@goof,
and besides that,you were also "nit picking" him.. |
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guialex
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| 26 May 2012 04:21 PM |
| I call discrimination on this topic. |
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goof333
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| Joined: 27 Aug 2008 |
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| 26 May 2012 04:23 PM |
| Sorry, I just hate people makeing Blonde Jokes. there are plenty of airheaded people out there that arn't blonde, why just single out blondes to make fun of? |
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| 26 May 2012 04:25 PM |
subject= blonde JOKES.
key word: JOKES.
nothing seri about it. :> |
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guialex
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| 26 May 2012 04:26 PM |
@OP
Blonde Jokes = Blonde people feel bad. |
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| 26 May 2012 04:26 PM |
@goof.
because in alot of movies,the popular air-headed chick is usually a blonde.
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| 26 May 2012 04:27 PM |
Blonde people feel bad over blonde jokes= Get over it.
its a joke.
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guialex
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| Joined: 07 Sep 2008 |
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| 26 May 2012 04:28 PM |
@OP
OOH, YOU CALLED ME A GOOF OVER THE INTERNET
Real life isn't a movie. |
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goof333
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| 26 May 2012 04:30 PM |
| Again, most blondes aren't even naturaly blonde. there is a good chance that popular air headed girl had her hair bleeched. I must admit one thing, the jokes that Octavia said are funny. |
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koopaNGC
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| Joined: 25 Apr 2010 |
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| 26 May 2012 04:30 PM |
| I have blonde hair, and I thought this was funny. |
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| 26 May 2012 04:36 PM |
@guialex
no..
i was talking to goof333.
wow. |
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