Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 25 May 2012 08:26 PM |
SO ONCE I WAS IN A GAME AND I DIED WITH BLOOD. End. |
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| 25 May 2012 08:27 PM |
| whooooooooooaaa maaaaaaaaaan |
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unicorned
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| Joined: 14 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 3431 |
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| 25 May 2012 08:34 PM |
| I entered a game with bitter and sorrow mood. Next thing I know, a demonic doll approached me with a lovely smile. Unfortunately, behind her was a machete. She whipped it out and started to come at me in a robotic figure, as if she was some sort of machinery. I started to run. Up ahead of me was just blackness with dark red blood raining down upon me. I then fell over a tree root. As I crawled back with fear, the doll came up to me, make up running down her face, whispering, "I'm here for your soul. Take me. Take me into your soul..." I then shut my eyes, hoping it was a dream. It was not. I open my eyes, only to see the doll gone. Of course I was relieved, but what really got me startled was the fact that dead bodies of many orphans were pouring down. I started to scream with horror. It was a frightening scene. I look down to see if I was okay. I was not. There was a long sword, about the size of two yards, right through my torso. I didn't feel it due to all the numbness. I somehow managed to run, but I didn't make it. Two people with skulls as heads, dark yellow glowing eyes beaming straight at me, long, scrapped finger nails running gently down my face. One of them grips my face and rips it off. I suddenly collapse on the floor, hardly breathing as if my lungs were clogged with blocks of cinnamon. What I saw was a little friendly squirrel. I looked at it as my eyes started to bleed. All the squirrel did was rip my eyes out and birds started to peck my ears, to the point where it was torn apart like a piece of paper that was being ripped by an angry child. I died and started to swerve down a mysterious tornado. I vanished, and the worst part was I met so many people, but they don't even remember me nor did I actually even exist. |
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Eston
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| Joined: 13 May 2008 |
| Total Posts: 21591 |
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| 25 May 2012 09:00 PM |
| One, there was a guy. He was really sad. He went up to this door in the neighborhood he was in. The end. |
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Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 25 May 2012 09:01 PM |
1) You had no paragraphs, just one runon. 2) There was no plot but the protagonist seeing things. 3) HE DIED IN BLOOD.
Overall, that would make a literature tutor cringe. |
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| 25 May 2012 09:29 PM |
| No. YeIIo won. I actually really enjoyed reading his creepy pasta. |
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Nerowned
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| Joined: 07 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 455 |
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| 25 May 2012 09:31 PM |
I entered a game with bitter and sorrow mood. Next thing I know, a demonic doll approached me with a lovely smile. Unfortunately, behind her was a machete. She whipped it out and started to come at me in a robotic figure, as if she was some sort of machinery. I started to run. Up ahead of me was just blackness with dark red blood raining down upon me. I then fell over a tree root. As I crawled back with fear, the doll came up to me, make up running down her face, whispering, "I'm here for your soul. Take me. Take me into your soul..." I then shut my eyes, hoping it was a dream. It was not. I open my eyes, only to see the doll gone. Of course I was relieved, but what really got me startled was the fact that dead bodies of many orphans were pouring down. I started to scream with horror. It was a frightening scene. I look down to see if I was okay. I was not. There was a long sword, about the size of two yards, right through my torso. I didn't feel it due to all the numbness. I somehow managed to run, but I didn't make it. Two people with skulls as heads, dark yellow glowing eyes beaming straight at me, long, scrapped finger nails running gently down my face. One of them grips my face and rips it off. I suddenly collapse on the floor, hardly breathing as if my lungs were clogged with blocks of cinnamon. What I saw was a little friendly squirrel. I looked at it as my eyes started to bleed. All the squirrel did was rip my eyes out and birds started to peck my ears, to the point where it was torn apart like a piece of paper that was being ripped by an angry child. I died and started to swerve down a mysterious tornado. I vanished, and the worst part was I met so many people, but they don't even remember me nor did I actually even exist. tl;dr
pokerfaic |
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mephiles4
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| Joined: 25 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 10682 |
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| 25 May 2012 09:38 PM |
| @Nero; Don't copy me, and yet that thing I told wasn't true, it's still horrifying. http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=68653238 That's my proof that I posted it first. |
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| 25 May 2012 09:39 PM |
I **really** need to stop using internet sarcasm.
>Nero is like, cool. |
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hotty6903
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| Joined: 24 Apr 2010 |
| Total Posts: 8950 |
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| 25 May 2012 09:41 PM |
| I LOL'D at this so hard that.... |
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