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glgg is not online. glgg
Joined: 13 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 6076
25 Apr 2012 10:31 PM
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glgg is not online. glgg
Joined: 13 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 6076
25 Apr 2012 10:32 PM
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glgg is not online. glgg
Joined: 13 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 6076
25 Apr 2012 10:35 PM
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Musiq is not online. Musiq
Joined: 30 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 9412
25 Apr 2012 10:36 PM
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Bayat is not online. Bayat
Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 611
25 Apr 2012 10:36 PM
too many errors/wrong forum.
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glgg is not online. glgg
Joined: 13 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 6076
25 Apr 2012 10:36 PM
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glgg is not online. glgg
Joined: 13 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 6076
25 Apr 2012 10:38 PM
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HEYYAYAYAYAYAYAYA is not online. HEYYAYAYAYAYAYAYA
Joined: 11 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 898
25 Apr 2012 10:38 PM
A)give us a name
B)give us a back story
C) Don`t capitolize she, unless it is her name.


Other than that,pretty good.
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DynamiteGuy is not online. DynamiteGuy
Joined: 16 May 2008
Total Posts: 11872
25 Apr 2012 10:40 PM
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HEYYAYAYAYAYAYAYA is not online. HEYYAYAYAYAYAYAYA
Joined: 11 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 898
25 Apr 2012 10:40 PM
Something only a Satan worshipper would say. Dynomite.
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DynamiteGuy is not online. DynamiteGuy
Joined: 16 May 2008
Total Posts: 11872
25 Apr 2012 10:41 PM
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DynamiteGuy is not online. DynamiteGuy
Joined: 16 May 2008
Total Posts: 11872
25 Apr 2012 10:42 PM
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HEYYAYAYAYAYAYAYA is not online. HEYYAYAYAYAYAYAYA
Joined: 11 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 898
25 Apr 2012 10:42 PM
That part is true though.
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DynamiteGuy is not online. DynamiteGuy
Joined: 16 May 2008
Total Posts: 11872
25 Apr 2012 10:45 PM
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Baka990 is not online. Baka990
Joined: 06 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 1135
25 Apr 2012 10:48 PM
It's alright. Fix the errors though. Theres to0 many.
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ExplosionLord is not online. ExplosionLord
Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 599
25 Apr 2012 10:48 PM
@glgg

In real greek myths, Artemis swore never to marry men and have a relationship with them.

~We live in the matrix,Test Subject~
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Baka990 is not online. Baka990
Joined: 06 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 1135
25 Apr 2012 10:48 PM
*too
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DynamiteGuy is not online. DynamiteGuy
Joined: 16 May 2008
Total Posts: 11872
25 Apr 2012 10:49 PM
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Bayat is not online. Bayat
Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 611
25 Apr 2012 10:59 PM
I'll try correcting some stuff, not anything about research though.
But do, fix it if you're really wanting this to be good.

One morning, a girl was walking to school. Her friend that had been trained asked if she waned a ride, and she said "yes." He called her parents saying she'll be home in a year, She was terrified.
She was sent to Perkulay to be trained. People now saw that she was a Demi-God *Authors note: A human, And a godess* ~Bayat note: Incorrect.~ She learned she was the daughter of Artemis. She was afraid of her battles.
But then she went to her teacher and said, "I want to go to the outside! I won't die sir, I promise."
The teacher refused, but she did it anyways. She didn't know her arrow was powerful enough for a God to smell. Athena ~Who's Athena?~ knew right when she left. The smell of her blood went around the kingdom. The teacher was worried and her trainer was gone rapidly. ~This sentence doesn't make any sense.~ -End of chapter 1
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Bayat is not online. Bayat
Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 611
25 Apr 2012 11:00 PM
*But please fix it
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lnrobloxguy is not online. lnrobloxguy
Joined: 11 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 10113
25 Apr 2012 11:00 PM
this is a crappy story
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Sorrys is not online. Sorrys
Joined: 19 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 6012
25 Apr 2012 11:01 PM
Aww thought this was a percy jackson book thingy >.< i read all 5 and the 2 on the new series o.o
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xcn1336 is not online. xcn1336
Joined: 03 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 5871
25 Apr 2012 11:02 PM
Um... Ok...
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Baka990 is not online. Baka990
Joined: 06 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 1135
25 Apr 2012 11:03 PM
@Sorrys

I love those books. :D
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suicidextreme is not online. suicidextreme
Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 16340
25 Apr 2012 11:03 PM
cool
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